Reflection

Dealing with trauma


Do you have any trauma for a particular animal? I am not sure if it can be called a trauma or not. A friend of mine can not bear seeing a cockroach. She becomes so histerical instantly anytime she sees this animal. She can jump and scream. She doesn’t know why and when she started having this trauma. She couldn’t remember anything happened to her particularly that made her having this trauma. This is the reason why she prefers to live in an apartment and not in a landed house. It sounds a bit funny, cockroach becomes an important point to consider before buying a property.

When she visited me a few weeks  ago, on our way to my home she was telling me this (the cockroach story). So I had to clean everything before she entered the house and make sure there was no cockroach. Cockcroach is small in size and it is not really dangerous animal. I used to tease her for this as if I didn’t have any trauma myself. I forgot that I also have similar trauma with caterpillars, the green one. The one that loves eating leaves. I know this is the reason why I am not very keen in gardening. Actually I have tried a self-therapy to reduce my emotional reaction when seeing a caterpillar. Every time I saw one, I tried to manage my feeling and I looked at it a bit closer to it and tried to know and communate to this creature, being aware my feeling. It worked to a certain point. At least to the small ones. But not the big one. So, size matters for me.

Can you see the green creature?

Another friend of mine loves caterpillars. Does it sound funny? I sent her some pictures of caterpillars I took for her. She said ‘It is so beautiful!’ I tried very hard to see the beauty of it. So every time I saw a caterpillar, I remembered her. So far I could manage my trauma. Until a few weeks ago, that trauma came again. I love green vegie so much. It was Saturday morning and I decided to have lots of vegie that day. I bought two bunches of fresh spinach from the nearest vegetable vendor. After my morning walk I decided to cook the spinach and unexpectedly I found a big green caterpillar on the spinach. Almost as big as my pointing finger. I tried to manage my reaction, I didn’t scream, but I felt myself ‘paralized‘ quite instantly. I stopped my cooking and I was not interested to have spinach anymore.  I got someone to take the whole bunch of the spinach and throw them away. The feeling was very strong. It is interesting how each one react differently on animal.

2 thoughts on “Dealing with trauma

    1. It is a great idea of yours, Monica. Butterfly is very beautiful. I think I have been trapped by the current state this animal and it scares me. I should change my consciousness and start seeing its beauty when it transforms into a butterfly.

      Thank you for reminding this.

      Liked by 1 person

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