It was Friday evening last week. We were heading to a weekend. I always love weekend. I decided to hang out after office hour. Just a spontaneous decision. I went to the nearest a hang-out place. The building is not modern and really big one but so cozy. It has coffee shops, restaurants, bakery, juice counter, stationary shop and also pharmacy on ground floor and first floor. It has a cinema and a gym on the third floor. It also has an outdoor park with little ponds and a fountain. It is my favorite place for a my short break from office.
It has become a good meeting place for many people especially during lunch time and after office hours. And the good thing is that it is only a walking distance from my office.
I thought I needed a self-reward, I decided to enjoyed my favorite drink at the nearest Starbucks Coffee, alone. I was sitting in one of the corners, in a long wooden table, facing a big glass window in front of me. I can see people were passing by through the window. Trust me, I really enjoyed it.
I realized that it was the everyday scene before the pandemic. I had missed this scene for a long time. There was so much joy inside me. I wishpered to myself ‘The vibe is back’.
A long time friend called me and told me that he was experiencing a spiritual awakening. Actually we had not been communicating for a quite long time. And we never talked about anything spiritual before. So when he suddenly called me and started discussing spiritual topic, I was surprised. He said that he remembered me practicing meditation. He might think that probably I could help him.
It is the spirit that is awaken. To be awaken means to be aware. The spirit is the awareness or the consciousness. The spirit resides in the body. The body is the vehicle for the spirit. It is not the awareness. To say that the spirit is awaken means that the spirit was in a sleep before. Because the spirit was sleeping, so the spirit was not aware. He was not aware of what he was missing either. When the spirit is awaken, he begins to be aware of it. He started searching.
In my opinion it will happen to everybody. Because everybody is in fact a spiritual being living in a physical body. Different people take different time to be awaken, and also different ways to respond to it. Some probably respond the way like my friend did, some probably deny it and decide to go back to sleep.
It is like a voice calling from the inside. For some the voice is too soft, for others it is quite loud, so it disturbs the sleep of the spirit. I remember it happened to me when I was in my early twenties. It was so disturbing. It was the beginning of my spiritual journey. It is a very long journey, not an easy one, but very rewarding.
This week school started here. The covid cases has been relatively ‘under controll’ here, more and more people have been vaccinated. I myself have got my second jab a few weeks ago. The school started on Monday. So it has been a week. This morning I met some elementary students in their boy scout uniform walking back from school. I saw one little boy which his daddy walking behind him carrying his school backpack. This scene was so nice.
Looking at them walking back from school, I was feeling so happy. They have been waiting for this for more than three semesters or so. I couldn’t hide the excitement inside though I am not a student anymore. I was so sure that those kids were more excited than me. It is said that student life is the best life. I think I agree with whoever said this.
I have left my school days long long time ago. But I couldn’t hide the excitement inside me. I asked one of the boys ‘are you happy going back to school?’ He said that he liked it.
I think it is a never ending process. Probably a life long journey for many of us. But let me tell you, it is a worthed journey to take. A very rewarding journey. It takes so much of your patience and your persistence to keep going. Don’t stop till you get what you search for.
I realize the need to explore the spirit within when I was in my early twenties. At that time I didn’t have any ide of being a spirit at all. What I knew was that I was yearning something but I couldn’t define what it was. I was introduced to meditation. I would have to say that meditation is probably the only way that helped me to find what I had been yearning. But it never happens over night. It took so much effort. I have been practicing meditation for a long long time, but to be frank with you I only made an intense effort for the last seven years. When I consciously put all my effort on this journey and enjoyed it, I could finally say that I have attained what I had been yearning. what have I attained through meditation and through my constant effort? the answer is my self-respect. Yes, I have got my self respect back. There is so much contentment inside. When there is contentment, the spirit is experiencing the fullness. Only when you are content inside or completely full inside, you will remain stable and nothing or none can shake you inside. No matter how chaotic the situation around you or in the world, if you keep the oasis of peace within you, you will remain uninfluenced. You will become the oasis for people around you to seek peace. You will move with so much courage and hope to those who are helpless. The world will need this more and more.
If you are in a journey of exploring yourself, keep doing it and never stop.
Nature never fails in giving gifts to us, if we may notice. I have a gardenia tree in my little garden. I noticed that it has been giving gorgeous flowers since June this year. I have been enjoying its white color and also the fragrance so much. Look at the beautiful picture below. I shared this picture to some friends and contacts. Along with the picture, I put a caption ‘what do you feel looking at this flower?’. Most of the people expressed their good feelings about it. It validated my thought that everybody loves flowers. A friend used the same word to express with me, ‘so gorgeous!’ We shared thr same feeling.
Only one person said that she didn’t feel anything. My other friend said that everyone relates to flower differently. The feeling might be different from one person to another as well. The seed of the beauty is not in the flower, but in the heart. The flower is just the trigger. The beauty (the feeling) is kept in the heart. Some will get triggered, other may not get triggered.
When I got covid-19 and just got tested, it said that my CT level was only 14. It was very low. The lowest among anyone I knew who got covid-19. I was introduced to start knowing some numbers. The body temperature, the pulse rate and also the oxygen saturation. All is indicated in numbers. I had an oxymeter to check the oxygen saturation and pulse with me. I heard from people the oxygen saturation tends to drop in covid patients. and when it drops to 90 or 85, one needs oxygen. The virus infects the lungs and quickly affect the respiratory system. Most of the covid patients experience shortness of breath, including me.
It should be checked regularly to know whether the patient need oxygen or not. Every time I checked my oxygen saturation that little monitor showed numbers, it kept changing from 99, 98, 97, 97,95, then 94. It takes a little bit of time to finally stop and show a number of oxygen saturation level. If you are the patient, that few seconds can make so panicked and restless. It was said that you need to be cautious if it goes down below 95. In such a situation, I decided not to check it again. I just didn’t want to know it anymore. Much later a friend who shared her story to me, taking care of four people in her family who got covid at the same time said that she became very stressful hearing the word oxygen saturation. The four people had to be hospitalized and all needed oxygen. The sad story was that one of them died, her brother in law.
The only thing that I kept with me is a thermometer. It was to check my body temperature. I needed to know if I still needed to take paracetamol or not. Covid-19 might not a simple disease. But I didn’t want to get myself complicated with those numbers and get stressed and worried. Worries would never help me. So I chose not to be worried.
A marriage counselor said that many married women at a certain age experience so much insecurities due to body shaming. They don’t want themselves not to look good. Many have tried so hard for keeping themselves to look good and in a good shape. None of them wants to look older and not beautiful. It has created strong insecurities. To be insecured is to create fear and the biggest fear is that her husband does not love her anymore or even leaves her at the worst. I never thought this as a serious problem, until a friend who is a marriage counselor shared this fact to me.
I think the first reason for this to happen is a commitment in relationship. A marriage is a committed relationship. To be committed means to be devoted. There is always a desire to make the one you devote or love to be happy. Each one has this responsibility for the happiness of the other side. A committed relationship also creates emotional dependency, then emotional attachment. There is no liberation, where there is a dependency.
Those women think that by keeping their bodies in shape or look good they will be attractive to their spouses. This draws their attention to become so much body conscious. The more you let yourself to be drawn by body consciousness, the more you become insecured. This is the price you have to pay. Because body consciousness is false consciousness. Body is made of the 5 elements of nature. Anything is made of the 5 elements will definitely change……. from new to old, from young to old. Accept this and be ready for this. Develop soul counciousness more. Because it is the soul that will never change. A soul doesn’t get older. A soul has the unlimited beauty. Uncover your own beauty within you, instead of desiring to fight against nature’s law. Accept the change of your body. And stay secured by being a beautiful soul.
A friend sent me this picture. A very cute dog. He is Luke. My friend told me that he bought Luke as a gift for his wife at their wedding anniversary. It is their second dog. The first one is Axel. A different type of dog. I met both of them when I visited my friend a few years ago. Luke has become everyone’s favourite dog in the family. Everyone in the family should take the dogs out for a walk everyday. It was the deal they made. I think my friend loves the dogs very very much. Now I understand why people love their pets so much. I didn’t understand when another friend kept mourning for few days or weeks for the loss of her dog. I remembered a colleague had to take a half day leave from office to attend the funeral of her cat. It just didn’t compute in my mind at that time.
I asked my friend if somebody loved Luke and wanted to buy the dog : ‘Would you sell it?’ His answer was interesting. He said : ‘Noone wants to sell his family.’ Luke has become part of the family. I think he and his family have given him so much love and a very good care. I can see from the big smile, a very happy smile.
I never think of having any pet. I don’t think I have enough time and atttention to take care of it. When I was small and living in my parents’house, we had a small dog. I remember I used to play with it after school. And much later when I hmoved to my house, a nephew who lived with me was having a turtle. It was very small. But after a few years it grew so big. We planned to go out of town for one week or so. Not wanting to feel guilty leaving the turtle, I asked my nephew to give it to his friend who was willing to give a good care of it.
When I had to stay in my self quarantine due to Covid-19 recently, as soon as I experienced something was not right with my body, I decided to disconnect myself from the world. And what it means to me is that I didn’t follow the news of what was happening out there. I did not allow it to enter my mind. I made my mind completely free from anything from external. I didn’t read any news nor watch any news. I kept telling myself that it was not the time to read or search for more information. The only information I needed at that time was how to deal with Covid-19. And I thought I was having enough of it with me. So I made myself focused on what was essential for me to do.
If something happened in the world and it was related to me or I had a responsibility in it, then I would surely know it very soon without me following the news of it. But if I didn’t know it or someone didn’t tell me, then I was so sure that it might not be related to me or I didn’t have any responsibility in it.
To be honest I was disconnected myself from ‘the world’ for a month. And I experienced my mind to be very clear through having very less thoughts. I listened to a class on zoom in the morning, it was my meditation class. So practically during the day I only had the thoughts of what taught in the morning class, which were positive and empowering ones.
What happened then with my mind? My mind became very clear in processing each thought. The decision I made was accurate. Practically I had no waste thoughts in my mind. When the number of thoughts is less, then they will become powerful and very clear. There is no clarity and thoughts are not powerful when you allow many thoughts occupy your mind.
So the practice of being disconnected from the world for a period of time is really really essential. I wish I can have this opportunity to do this again in the future, but of course without Covid-19. It is really a good practice for the mind and also for the heart. It empowers the soul.
My mission after having recovered from Covid-19 was to inspire many people to be fearless in dealing with Covid-19 in particular and in facing their life in general. Through several events onlines I have done this. It is accomplished somehow. Through ‘30 Minutes Celebration, free from covid’ I shared basically to my friends and colleagues only, still not many people. So I still need to continue this mission, to reach more people. And of course through sharing in this blog too.
When I shared this to a friend, he said ‘the next mission will be not to get reinfected’. I think he is right. absolutely right. Because we will never be completely free from Covid-19. I have got recovered at the moment, but it doesn’t guarantee that I will be free from the virus forever. This virus will stay with us, around us and close to us forever. There will be a new strain and another new strain and another one. They will keep coming, because that is also the way they survive on this planet. They also have right for their survival. There will be no other choice for us, except to be ready, to keep protecting ourselves and staying safe.