When people get covid-19, they tend to be worried or panicked. In my case, I tried my best to stay calm. I understand the more I get worried, the worse my situation will become. And I will not be able to make a clear decision of what I need to do. So I choose to stay calm.
The question is then ‘How?’ I stopped reading and following the news of what was happening in the world, around me or the world out there. I didn’t want to know the news about covid-19 either. I thought if something happened in the world out there and I needed to know or it was related to me, then I would know it soon. But if I didn’t know it, it might not be related to me.
I stopped using almost all the social medias. Yes I still used my WhatsApps during that period, but only to communicate with some people whom I needed especially in dealing with Covid-19, or who needed me for a support or encouragement especially knowing some of my friends were also positive covid-19. We were then supporting one another. I don’t watch TV, since I don’t have one now.
In this way I could manage my mind to have very less thoughts. I only allowed positive and encouraging thoughts for myself and for others. And the thoughts were so powerful. The less thoughts you have, the more powerful they become.
Yesterday a friend who lives in Japan was telling me about the opening ceremony of the Tokyo Olympics. He said ‘Tokyo Olympics will be starting soon. Do you watch it?’ I smiled. I felt like I was reminded to the world sport event that is right now happening in Tokyo. So many people must have been waiting for this event.
It has always been very CLEAR with me that this virus only infects the body, not the soul. The soul remains safe and courageous. I kept telling myself and everyone ‘I know this soul is very strong.’
I think this thought helped me a lot in dealing with the virus. My friend said that this is the power of thought.
I took the medicine and vitamins that prescribed by a doctor. I had my covid vaccine. I heard from many people that after having vaccinated someone may still get infected but with mild symptoms, like me. This also helped me in my recovery.
I could maintain a state of having no complaint, about my situation nor the virus. I always communicated to the virus with love ‘Virus, you may stay here but I need to make this body strong. You will be more comfortable when this body is strong.’ In this way, I only allowed love fill my heart, including love for the virus. When there is love, there is no fear. In this way I remained fearless.
Actually people are not afraid of covid-19 but death. Because rarely people have prepared for their death.
I have one mission now, to inspire as many people as possible not to be afraid of covid-19 and stay courageous.
I think everyone agrees that suffering in this world is increasing day by day. In all levels – physical, emotional and mental levels. This pandemic has made the suffering even more and more real in front of us. Natural calamities – flood, fire, storms and earthquakes have also contributed to the suffering in the world. The five elements of nature have shown their fearsome faces. Conflict and wars are no less. There is no peace in the world nowadays.
If God is almighty, He can do everything He needs to do to stop this suffering in the world right now, our logic say. Why does God not finish all this suffering in the world with His mights? It is not a big thing for God to finish all of these. Why does He not do it? A friend asked me this question not long ago. We were in a discussion on this topic. It was an open discussion between two friends. Just two of us. Topic on God was not sensitive to be discussed for both of us. I said to him ‘I think God is not emotional nor sentimental like us.’
We need to understand God’s role and also His timing. God loves everyone, God can’t bear seeing anyone suffering. It is no doubt! God doesn’t stop the suffering, but He provides strength for us to take from Him so we can go through all of these situations and suffering more easily. All of these have to happen. What is meant to happen will happen and God will not interfere. He provides the strength we need. This is His role in this world, to help us. So take that strength from Him. Take the help from Him. Draw that strength into your soul and make yourself so powerful inside.
I remind myself that I am God’s child. God is my Father, my eternal Father. I remember God in the home, my home and God’s home. The home of light. We belong to the same home. A peaceful, silent home. I love this home. I love God. God also loves me. God opens His heart for me and I also open my heart. I surrender myself to God completely. I am accepted by God. I am loved. His love is healing my heart. He takes all the hurt and sadness from my heart. I am healed. I am empowered.
Human being is sometimes called a reaction machine. To react easily. To be reactive is to act without thinking. When we are angry, we tend to react. Anger is an emotion. It is not permanent, it is temporary. It takes a very short time to release anger. When an anger is not controlled, very often it leaves us a regret. The anger doesn’t stay long, but the regret may stay longer.
How to be free from anger and not becoming a reaction mechine? Work on the root cause of the anger. Work on the pain that causes your anger. Many times it is an emotional pain, not a physical pain. Work on the emotional level. If the reason of your anger is a feeling of being unworthy, work on it, start realizing your self-worth and become worthy. If the reason of your anger is a feeling of hurt, deal with that hurt and start the healing.
Know your pain, realize it is there. Don’t deny it! Accept that pain and start dealing with that pain. Empower yourself and make yourself strong enough. Anger is not a strength, it is a weakness. If you can stay calm and not react easily, then you are strong inside. It is the real strength.
Anger is not a basic emotion. Anger is often a reaction to a pain. It can be a physical pain, like tiredness, hunger, thirst or other pain of the body or mental pain like sadness, insecurities, feeling hurt, feeling unworthy etc. Any of these pain may trigger an anger.
I always avoid scheduling a meeting close to lunch time. I remember when I was mentoring some mentees for a management training program, and they were scheduling for their final project presentation, I always suggested either early in the morning or after lunch time. It was a presentation in front of managers as the panelists. When people are hungry, they tend to become a slightly short-tempered, make wrong judgement or make inaccurate decision.
Anger is an emotion, so it should be managed. Anger that is not managed may become so distructive. E-motion is an energy in motion, it should be expressed not suppressed. To express an anger is to release it and to finish it. It doesn’t mean that if you are angry with someone and you will need to shout at her or him or speak with a high-toned voice. No! It is a destructive way. Someone said when you do that, it will hurt that person and he or she will remember or probably carry that hurt for another six months. It is not to finish the anger then.
What is the way to release this emotion that is not desctructive? It is advised to move away from the situation for a little while. If you stay there, you will tend to react unnecessarily like shouting, blaming, complaining or criticizing. You might not be able to control your words. Ussually you will end it up with regret. It creates another emotion. When you physically move away, your mental focus is switched. It allows yourself to take a mental break. It will become effective to avoid you from reacting. Any emotion is temporary, so you need to deal with it so well in that short period of time. You will surely calm down soon. Just make sure not to react when the temper is rising.
I was asked if I have a daily practice to develop my self-respect. Self-respect definitely needs to be developed. It is self-developed. It is not given by somebody. It also needs to be nurtured. It is not an over-night work and when it is done, you can leave it. No! You need to nurture it. If not, it will die. Like a country, you need to have a security system to make sure that enemy will not attact the country any time. If the security system is not strong, your old enemy may come back to sabotage your self-respect. Who is your enemy? the ego. Always the same enemy. Probably the only enemy for self-respect. Ego is the false identity of the self, either your superior nor inferior one. When the ego rules, he hijacts your throne. You are not sitting on a stable seat of self-respect. The ego becomes the king and you become the subject.
My daily practice to develop and nurture my self-respect is meditation and journaling. It has become my morning practice for the last few years. I never missed these two in the morning to start my day. This is my ‘me time’. I hardly have any distraction in the morning time. No one needs me. No one wants to talk with me. No one calls me. This is the best time to invest my time and energy for myself.
Meditation is to know the self better. To know the self is to know what is going on inside me. What kind of movie that keeps playing in my head? I have to pay attention to this movie because it has a direct impact on me personally. So I need to know the quality of the movie. If you think you need to edit the movie, do it. You are the movie maker of your daily life.
Journaling is like creating the script of the movie. you are writing the story of your own movie. You are your own movie director. By putting it in writing, you make the story more real to you. Each day we are preparing our own script for our own movie.
This practice has helped me to remain seated on my throne. This is the stable seat for the self, where no one and no situation can bring you down.
How to develop self-respect? If looking at other people doesn’t develop one’s self-respect then the answer to this question is to stop looking at other people. Start looking at the self. The next question is ‘is it not selfish to look at the self?’
You experience a constant oscillation between high and low, superior and inferior, arrogance and depression through comparing yourself to other people. And it is definitely not comfortable. If you want to free yourself from this oscillation, if you want to invest your time and energy for something that frees you from experiencing this insecurities, then is it selfish?
To look at the self means to be reflective. To really ask the self what has gone wrong, what really needs to be done. It is like a heart-to-heart dialogue. You need to be very honest in this. The self is naked. Nothing to hide, including the insecurities. For some people it makes them uncomfortable, some avoid doing this.
When you can see your self-worth, when you develop your self respect, the automatic consequence is that you will start seeing it in others. You will start treating other people with respect too. What you keep doing to yourself will be reflected on how you treat other people. In other words, what you show externally is a reflection of what you do to yourself internally. So to start looking at one’s self is not selfish, because at the end it will be projected on others too. Kindness will not remain kept inside. A kind heart is a loving heart. Love is energy generated in the heart, it flows.
If someone is rude or unfriendly or even violent to other people, then understand that he surely does the same to himself. He is just reflecting what is inside. He is expressing his inner reality. You can not expect something different from this person. Have mercy on him instead.
Last week I was invited to share some thoughts on how to develop self-respect. When I just received the notice, The first thing came into my mind was ‘what is the reason for not having self-respect?’ I think it is because we do not see our self-worth. Why do we not see our self-worth? This is because we see people a lot. What is wrong in seeing people? When we see people, we start comparing ourselves to them.
We start thinking ‘They are better than me. They are more fortunate. They are more successful. They are more experienced. They know better than me.’ What do we then feel when we have these thoughts? We start feeling insecure. If we sustain these thoughts by keeping these on and on and on in our head, we develop inferiority. Very often we don’t realize that we are nurturing these thoughts until we notice ourself feeling very low and small. This inferiority blinds you from seeing your self-worth.
Or you may start creating thoughts like ‘I am better. I am more fortunate. I am more successful.’ You develop superiority. For most people it doesn’t happen more frequently than the inferior one.
Comparing yourself to other people will always lead you to inferiority or superiority. You experience yourself emotionally in an oscillation between high and low. You are not comfortable to be in this oscillation. It doesn’t serve you inner stability.
Some call it ego. Ego is always false. It is just an illusion.To feel inferior or superior is an illusion. It is never permanent. Know this ego in you. Try to notice yourself when you start developing this. Be there for the sake of your inner stability. Because it is so destructive to your spirit (your self). It is very manipulative. It will never allow you to be able to see your self-worth. Your enemy for attaining your self-worth is not out there. It is right here, inside your head. Very subtle. Become the true warrior and conquer this enemy.