Journal of the day

You are infinite

Do you like going to a museum? What do you enjoy most when you are in a museum? When was your last museum visit? I think those who are interested in history would love going to a museum.

A friend of mine has a very great interest in history and this interest had led her to travel probably around the world. She had visited Cu Chi tunnel in Vietnam and also Machu Piccu in Peru. She would be very enthusiastic explaining those kind of historical places everytime I asked her to share.

I am not really interested in history. I have visited some museums here, but not all museums. I think my understanding art is too shallow. Last week I went to a contemporary art museum with a friend. I was curious to know what a contemporary art was like. They mostly displayed current artworks, I suppose the artists are still alive and even still creating some artworks. The museum has more than 800 collection from so many different artists to be displayed, but they don’t display all collections at the same time. They change the layout and also the artworks periodically. As soon as I entered the room, I could feel the sense of being “contemporary”. I could sense the difference from the conventional one. The museum is on the third floor. Almost half of the floor was closed for preparing a solo exhibition which would be opened in a few days.

Actually I knew this museum since a few years ago from a friend when it was just newly opened, but I was just not interested to visit till a friend from different city came and he is a graphic designer. I thought he might be interested in visiting a museum.

What I enjoyed the most in this museum was the Infinity Room. Each group of only 2 people maximum are allowed to be in the room with colorful lights. Each group was only given 30 seconds to be in the room to enjoy the beautiful and colorful lights. The feeling of being infinite was experienced by the eyes. Yes it had something to do with the eyes which sense this infinity. It seems it doesn’t have any end. To feel infinite is to be endless, no limit.

I remember that we are souls. Souls are infinite, whereas bodies are finite. As a soul we have no ends. Souls are on an eternal journey, taking one body, then leaving the body and taking another new body in a womb of a mother. It continues and never stops. By understanding this we develop fearlessness of death in our consciousness. Death is when the soul leaves the body with or without any reason. It is seen as a natural process

Journal of the day

Be ever ready

When I was giving an idea to a friend of having a hiking, she started browsing the place on instagram. It looked so cool on the instagram. As everyone might agree with me that everything put on instagram is suppossed to be instagramable enough. Only then it will attrack viewers.

My friend was  very excited, having her impression and also imagination of what she saw on instagram. She wanted to find the spot where the picture was taken. She actually didnt tell me about it until we finished our hike.

I was not fully recovered from covid-19 at that time. My body was not fully ready for a hike actually. I brought with me a trekking stick and I found it so useful. I walked slowly. I asked her to walk ahead of me and leave me as I needed to stop several times for a little bit of rest and also to enjoy the scenery and the morning breeze. She went ahead. She wanted to find the spot.

Take a pause, breath and enjoy…..

I didn’t reach the end of the trek. She made it but she couldn’t find the spot where the picture was taken. She just missed it. At the end of the trek, she said there was a restaurant. She told someone at the restaurant that she didn’t see the spot she was looking for showing the picture on instagra. It might have changed a bit, probably the grass or the trees had grown up taller or just trimmed or cut down. So she didn’t notice.

I think she was too focused on the goal and didn’t make herself ready for the outcome. Similarly in life we have to be ever ready for the outcome life may bring to us and not to be so attached to our goal. Take time to pause, breath and enjoy……

Journal of the day

How creative are you?


Do you consider yourself as a creative person? To be creative person means to become one who creates artwork. To be honest I am not. I am aware I am not good at creating any artwork. I think I don’t  have that talent. I can spend hours putting my thoughts in writing, but it is not an artwork. It is not a poem nor an essay. It is just a journal. There is no beauty in it, probably a clarity.

I have a friend who is very talented in drawing. Her drawing is just amazing. It looks like a 3D object. It looks so real. Below is one of her drawings.

Another friend is very good at patchwork. She made dolls, pillows, masks, cloth bags etc. She is just amazing at it. Another friend is very passionate in making cookies and cakes. Another friend is very good at playing classical piano. She even teaches piano to kids. I have tried all of that but none was good. I think I don’t have the talent.

I remember we were preparing a public program and a friend who was very good at decoration she was making flowers arrangement. I always enjoy flowers. I thought I wanted to help her. I had no sense at all in this. I helped cutting the stems for her. I didn’t dare to put them into the vase. I just gave her an assistance.

A few weeks ago we were having a long holiday. I thought I would learn something during the holiday. I just chose to learn flower arrangement. Below is my first flower arrangement after knowing the technique of clustering and layering the flowers. It doesn’t look so bad. At least now I know a bit of how to arrange flowers in a vase.

Journal of the day

A lesson from nature


I have been having grass jelly plant in my garden since long time ago. I remember I bought this plant more than 15 years ago in a flora exhibition. This is a climbing plant. It climbs up trees nearby and also the fence. It gives a lot of leafs from which we can make grass jelly drink. I think it is a natural and healthy drink with a lot of chlorophyll in it. I think it is an eternal plant. The gardener who cleaned up my garden had cut it many times and I thought it might had died but it has grown again and again. Probably its root was not completely pulled out from the ground. It is now growing so well with a lot of leafs. I just realized that it has been crawling the gate now. I am sure it will cover the whole gate very soon.

This grass jelly plant is eternal.

I learn one thing from this plant that nature never becomes corrupted. Plant is part of the nature. How wildly it grows, it is not corrupted. It takes nutrition and water from the grown and also light from the sun to grow, not more than it needs. Even when it grows ‘wildly’, it is not called a corruption. A plant grows not for itself.  They give leaf, flower or even fruit, but those are not for themselves. Plant, like animal they don’t develop any greed. They are not selfish either. It is human being who develop selfishness and greed. It is human being who exploit nature out of greed. No wonder that nature has a very good energy or vibration. It heals. No wonder that many people like being in nature. It gives really nice and fresh feeling. It is healing our souls.

Journal of the day

Tennis Indoor


I have to be honest that I was so scared of having an injection. Before I got my covid vaccine last year, actually I needed to prepare myself emotionally. I was telling someone who helped me getting the vaccine that If possible the schedule would be after two weeks, thinking that two weeks was enough for me to prepare myself mentally. Only in the evening I got informed to get my vaccine the following morning, it was arranged by the office. I had no time to prepare myself.

To be frank with you I was so nervous. I was not prepared. But finally decided to get the earlier schedule thinking I would be with some colleagues, if something happened then I had my colleagues with me in the venue. The vaccine was held in the national sport complex, in the middle of the city, in tennis indoor building. A huge and very well maintained building. 10.000 people from many different companies in financial business were invited for this vaccine.

In fact I was very impressed by how the organizer organizing the people maintaining social distancing. It was just so impressive. Though it is much easier than organizing a concert event or musical festival. It was very well organized. The building is very much in the middle of the whole complex, so we had to walk quite far. But I enjoyed the walk. I loved the pedestrian. A lot of trees. I felt a bit like a picnic. The way they organized the people in the hall was also impressive. The whole experience was not scary, included when I was having my jab.

This gave me a feeling of a picnic.

A few weeks ago I got my booster vaccine. My colleague asked me “are you happy with your vaccine?” I replied “not really.” My booster vaccine was in a hospital. It was a different experience, a hospital experience not a tennis indoor experience. If you are a customer and your customer experience was excellent, you were satisfied with the product or service you bought, you might tend to put that excellent service as your standard for your future buying. It was exactly what happened to me.

How they were organizing the event was impressive.

My colleague then asked “why?” I then started telling her about how I was so happy with the vaccine in tennis indoor last year, as if she was not there with me, getting our vaccine.

So, the venue matters. She then smiled and said “I think it is very easy to make you happy.”

Journal of the day

Sakura season has begun

A friend just sent me this picture below with a caption ‘Sakura season has begun’. He shared happiness, not just a picture. This picture was taken not very far from where he lives. The season is in April every year and only next week will be April. It has never missed.

Nature keeps giving beauty.
It remains unaffected by the pandemic, war nor crisis.

Nature, including tree always keeps its promise. It obeys its season. It is not affected by anything happens in the world, not by the pandemic, war nor financial crisis. It keeps giving flowers. It keeps showing its beauty. It keeps giving happiness. My friend said that they bloom only for two weeks.

I thank to him that he remembered me loving flowers, any kind of flowers especially when it is massively blooming during its season. I said to him ‘it is like showing its beauty in a full force.’ I feel like my heart is quickly blooming with them, filled with happiness.

He has always sent me pictures of Sakura every Sakura season, knowing that I will like it. I really want to go to Japan during Sakura season.

Someone gave me seeds of this type of tree. It’s flower is just similar to Sakura. Beautiful! Thinking not having ‘a green thumb’ as people say, I gave the seeds to 3 different friends for them to grow. I was just not confident growing it myself. Small saplings are delicate, they require special care. After a few months one of them gave me back a sapling of the tree. I really thanked to her mom who took a very good care of it. It grew so well in her care. She must have a green thumb. Now it has grown so big but hasn’t given any flower yet. Probably I have to be very patient to wait to see its flowers. I know only when it has grown years and years and it has become really big, it will give flowers.

Journal of the day

International Women’s Day

Today is 8th March. It is International Women’s Day. Starbucks has a special offer for its member of 50% off for 2 beverages purchase, only for women. I thought it would be a very good deal.

I said to my colleague that I needed a mood booster to start the day. And my mood booster is hot chocolate. I went to the nearest Starbuck store with a colleague.

When I was making a payment at the cashier, I said to the cashier to put a special note on the cups. And the note is “You are a great woman“.

You are a great woman

I think this note leaves a smile on the face of whoever reads it or heard my conversation with the cashier. It might be a reminder for my colleagues too that they are great women.

Journal of the day

A life cycle


When I shared my blog post on the process of self-identity on teenagers to someone, he said that this process is a part of a life cycle. I completely agreed with him on this. Everybody goes through this phase in their lives. Some are quite aware of the process, but many are not really aware of it. Some take the process very seriously (if not very heavily), and some take it very lightly. Since it is a cycle so it has to be completed, if not completed then it won’t be called a cycle. Not necessarily in one life.

A life cycle of human

It took me years to process this. I should say that it was not an easy one, so much frustration along the way. I didn’t see any guarantee for a success. Looking back, it was like an adventure. I realized that the harder I made it for myself, the less successful it became and the farther away I became from my true self. So I decided not to be hard on myself in this process. I made myself more open and honest to myself. I really made time for this. The feeling was more acceptance, more forgiving and least resistance internally. Now I have a very clear idea of who I am, what I am and what the future would be in my awareness. I am completing the process and I keep learning.

Even though it is a life cycle, it doesn’t mean that there is a guarantee for everybody to complete the process of understanding who they are before they die. Some even do not really know what they want to pursue in life, what they want to do in life. A father just lost his daughter quite suddenly. A few days before she left her body, she talked to him about her plan a bit. She just graduated from college. I think he made a very honest statement about her daughter that she knew what she didn’t like to do very well, what she was not passionate about, but she didn’t know what she liked to do.

Death doesn’t mean the end of everything. It doesn’t automatically end this process. The life cycle is definitely completed for the body, but not for the soul. Because it is the soul that has been seeking, it is the spirit in the body that is going through the process, not the body.

Journal of the day

How to release emotions


It is advised that we should not hold any negative emotions. If you have anger and you keep it in your heart for a long time, what will happen? If you have guilt or regret and you nurture it in you for a long time, what will happen? If you have fear or worries and you hold it with you for a long time, what will happen? They will definitely create ‘dis-ease’.  Emotional disease and quite often they manivest into a physical disease also. It is so harmful to ourself (well being) and also to our body. I have heard many times that in many cases, anger manivests into cancer. It sounds very scary, doesn’t it?

To keep the emotion inside is to trap it inside you. Emotion is energy. Energy should flow. So to hold it is to prevent it from flowing. You need to let it out from you, you need to release it. Free yourself from any negative emotion.

How to release this energy? To release it means to express it out. It doesn’t mean that you need to project your anger, your hurt or your fear on someone. No. Don’t do that! There is more elegant way in doing it. And it is not harmful to anyone.

To let it out doesn’t mean that when you have anger, you express it out to people around you by shouting it out. When you express those emotion to people, it may create harm to others when they are not ready or strong enough, and many times they are not. It will become destructive instead. I find journaling is one of the ways to express it out. Write your feelings, write your emotions, write them out. It is very releasing. The energy is not trapped in ‘you’. It is flowing. It gives you a feeling of release. You feel so light in your mind and heart.

I know so many people are not comfortable in doing it. Many said to me that they were afraid of others reading their journal book. They were afraid of others knowing their feelings or emotions. I have doing it for a long time that I don’t mind people reading my journal book. I don’t mind people knowing my feelings even if it is very personal. I have this much courage. And this liberates me so much. It this the spirit (energy?) in me that is liberated. If I am not comfortable people knowing what I felt, I don’t think that I continue this blog till this far. When they are reading it, actually that feelings were not there anymore. It was released at the time of it being written or expressed. Why should I become worried when people know what was going on inside me? The emotion is gone.

If you can not be freely expressing your feelings and emotions through writing, then you can express it through drawing, doodling  or coloring. For this, you need be with yourself, just be with yourself. Start expressing the feelings out. Let your heart choose what shape to draw, you are free to draw any shapes or just lines….. let your heart pick the color and start putting the color on your drawing. Keep drawing and keep expressing. Keep releasing the trap and make the spirit inside free.

What feelings expressed in this? (This is taken from a fellow blogger)

Actually I have tried this second technique many times and I realized that I am not good enough at drawing. I remember when I was still in school, I was always nervous in the class of drawing. I can enjoy some nice drawing. They give me a feeling of joy, calmness or peace. I know some even can see the feeling of frustration and trauma by looking at the drawing.

Journal of the day

Haruka has turned 20


20 years old is considered as the beginning of adulthood in Japan. A friend told me this. So it is very special. A ceremony is collectively held for marking this. It is called Seijinshiki. For this ceremony the girls wear Japanese traditional dress called Furisode.

My friend’s first daughter, Haruka turned 20 in January this year. the ceremony for her was held in middle of the month in a city hall.  It is quite a special day for her and also for my friend and his wife as parents. To be an adult means to be responsible for each and every decision and action made. One has to be so thoughtful before performing any action because the consequence will become her or his responsibility, no more his or her parents’.

I don’t recognize which one is Haruka when they are wearing masks.

She is no more a teenaged girl. Time flied so fast. I feel like I met her as a young girl only yesterday. I remember she loved hip hop music. Now she has turned into a young pretty woman. She is now a university student. She has one younger sister, who is more sporty look with short hair. In fact this family loves volley ball, the three girls are volley ball players, including my friend’s wife. So they are all sporty and very active actually. Sometimes they even participate a tournament, during this pandemic.