Today I did my grocery shopping at the nearest supermarket. I decided to go there in the morning, because I do not like to queue at the cashier counter. I think more people like going to supermarket in the afternoon, especially during weekend. I was right. The queue was not long.
There were only two people in front of me in the queue. I was there with my trolley. And only one person behind me. I checked my shopping list to know if I forgot something to buy. I needed to get milk in carton. I saw they were displayed on my right side, very close from where I was standing. So I went there to get the milk, I left my trolley. When I got back to my trolley, I realized that the lady who stood behind me had skipped me. Very quickly I was feeling bad. ‘It is not fair. Don’t you know how to queue? hey.. this is a public place. Do you know how to behave in a public place?’ These thoughts were playing in my head.
I knew I tried to make myself calm inside. A soft voice in my head said ‘Tini, look at her trolley! Not really much stuff. She wouldn’t take a long time for the payment. It’s OK if you get delayed for one or two minutes for her.’
The other voice said ‘Yes, but it is not fair.’ This voice was louder. I pushed my trolley very slowly towards that lady. I hoped that lady noticed it. And of course, she didn’t dare to look at me. She might realize that what she did to me was not right. I then planned to give her a lesson when I have made my payment. I would like to say to her ‘Next time, please do not skip the queue.’ This was the thought in my head.
I was shocked when the cashier handed me the receipt of my payment. It cost more than I thought. There must have been something wrong, I thought. I then checked the list of the price of each purchased item on the receipt. Usually I never check any receipt of a payment. My eyes fall on to ‘broccoli’. It said 10 dollars for 269 grams of broccoli. It should have been only 1 dollar instead, as printed on its price tag. Then I talked to the cashier for this and she asked me to go to the information desk. The young man at the information desk apologized for the mistake. He took the receipt and the broccoli from me and revised it. He returned to me with some money. I was still feeling bad about that lady actually. I do not like keeping that kind of feeling in my heart, I always like sharing it to people. This is the way I let my emotion out and not keep it in me. It gives me feeling of a release after doing it. And I shared it to this young man. I told my little story of the lady in the queue and also my plan of giving her a lesson. But I had to deal with the mistake of the broccoli’s price, so I didn’t execute my plan.
I could see the benefit of being skipped. I learned a lesson. This lesson was for me, not for the lady.
It is 1st January 2022 here. First morning in the new year. In the other corner of the world is still new year eve. You might be still enjoying your new year eve with your loved ones there. Happy new year, everyone!!
How did you spend your new year eve? With whom did you spend it? Most people make new year eve with their family or friends, their loved ones. A friend was telling me that she planned to be on a road trip for a few days with her family, her mom, her dad, her uncles and aunties and nieces. It is a family trip. It sounds really fun. Another friend was telling me that she planned to visit her friend and spend the new year ever with her friends there. Another friend was telling me that he got an invitation for a new year celebration from somebody. He and his wife planned to go to celebrate new year eve there. The vibe is of happiness. Most people spend their new year eve with family and friends. Happiness is shared.
He asked me back ‘what about you? What is your plan?’ To be honest with him my plan was to be with myself. It was also a plan. Let me just find a place, a cozy place that is not crowded with people and let me just work on my new year resolution. Let me just spend some times with myself. I always consider myself to be the most important person and most loved one. I needed to complete my new year resolution. I had made its outlines, I needed to make it more detailed. I found this place, a coffee shop for me to work on my new year resolution. this place is really cozy, quiet. It is a perfect place. People were not interested to go to such place in new year eve. Across this place is a big shopping mall. People were more attracted to go there.
Sitting in this coffee shop and working with my new resolution, I could feel a very good vibe. I know what I like very clearly. I never feel missing out. I dare to be different from most people and I feel comfortable. I know this
Use the SMART formula. This is th same formula you can use for a goal setting. Anyway a resolution is also a goal. You set the goal and then achieve it. SMART – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bond.
You need to include your subconscious mind in manifesting what you want. And only when you make it specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bond your subconscious mind will understand what you want. It is your subconscious mind (conscience) that will guide you to achieve that goal. It knows the way to achieve it. So by setting your goal or your resolution in a very clear way, are actually communicate what you want to your conscience in a better way.
When I conducted a workshop on this topic, some audiences shared more ‘qualitative’ resolution like ‘I want to become a kind person’ ‘I don’t want to take sorrow from anybody’. To this qualitative goals, you can’t use the same formula but you definitely still need to make it clear to your self (your subconscious mind). Don’t just leave it there like that, you need to define the goal more detailed. How? Ask yourself, what do you mean by being a kind person? Why do you want to become one? How would you know that you are becoming a kinder person day by day? And the most important question is ‘What would you do everyday to make you this?’ This is a question for an action plan. A regular action that you are committed to take everyday. A resolution without an action would remain a wish or a dream. It won’t become a reality. A commitment is really essential for a successful resolution.
What do you mean by not taking sorrow from anybody? Why do you think you need to do this? How would you check yourself everyday that you are not taking sorrow from anyone? What are you going to do if you take sorrow with no intention? How would you deal with it? What would you say to yourself? How would you do for a self-check?
The clearer your resolution, the easier your subconscious mind will help you to manifest it. This is really the key!
I remember I made a resolution of becoming a more minimalist. And that meant to me to be less acquiring stuff. I made it very specific for clothings. Maximum 5 new clothes for one year. It is measurable. I was not a shopaholics but I thought I needed to do this. I did the same thing with shoes and bags. No new bag and no new shoes during that one year. I shared this resolution to a friend only a few months after January. And I confessed to her that I had bought more than ten clothes. And she said ‘You have failed already.’ I didn’t want to take her comment on me being a failure personally. I knew it would weaken me mentally. I said to my self instead ‘I will keep doing with this resolution. I don’t want to quit.’ I wanted to know myself how far I could go with my resolution by the end of the year. I could measure my failure at end of the year.
If you fail in making your resolution, don’t stop and start thinking that you are a failure, and feeling bad about yourself. No, you are a learner. You keep learning from the failure and you become better. Don’t listen to anybody.
A friend of mine visited me during weekend last week. A new botanical garden was just opened. It is located near my house. Only 5 minutes drive. I love nature a lot. I enjoyed the morning breeze a lot. I was telling her about it and so she became very keen to see it and enjoy it. Going to the botanical garden was our first agenda. Then rest I left it to her to decide. I had not gone to any restaurant nor coffee shops since the pandemic hit. So I had no idea where to go after having a morning walk in the garden. She then took me to a tea house and a coffee shop. Both are popular recently. I have no knowledge about tea nor coffee. She was born and grew up in a Chinese family. In Chinese tradition, they have tea ceremony. I think she has a bit of knowledge on tea and also coffee. So I just followed her.
At the tea house, we can enjoy many different kinds of artisan tea, with different flavors and mixture. They also offer a workshop for tea lovers. We ordered tea to drink with two different flavors. Lemon flavored for me and pandan leaf flavored for her. I am not a tea lover but I enjoyed how it was presented, in a little clear glass tea pot with a little clear clear glass cup. I enjoy also the display of so many different teas. It looks so beautiful.
Then after lunch, she took me to a popular coffee shop. She brought home 3 different flavours of coffe and milk. I enjoyed this one. It was so nice. It tasted very good. The coffee was not strong. I really like it. I remember I could not sleep that night and I could not think of any other reason for that, but the cofein. I used to be very naive on tea and coffee. I used to think of having any drink is to quench the thirst, whatever the drink is and it is wrong. Only much later I realized that some drinks, like tea and coffee are for the sake of enjoying. It is not meant to quench the thirst. Little amount is enough!! 😊
A few weeks ago my car got hit. I was driving on my way back home from work. It was already dark. I was shocked when another car hit my car from the back. It was then followed by uncomfortable feelings of sadness and anger inside. I blamed the guy who was driving that car. We were in argument for a few minutes. Then I went home with very uncomfortable feelings. How long do you usually process such feelings? To be honest it took me days or even weeks to process it.
It was my heart that was shocked, not my car. Why shocked? I had been developing the idea of owning that car, and this idea had become so strong. It became part of me. It became an attachment. A mental attachment, not a physical attachment.
This idea of owning that car has occupied my awarness or probably my heart also and it is how it becomes part of ‘me’. So whatever happens to that car, my heart creates the feelings accordingly, based on the awarness. It is like I let my feeling is controlled by what I posess (what I am attached to).
How did I process that uncomfortable feelings? I talked to myself to put my awareness right again. It is false to consider that car to be part of me. It took me a bit of time till everything became fine. That I and the car are different entities. Nothing can become part of me. If you want your car always safe, then don’t drive it. Keep it at home. But a car is meant to transport you for one place to another. It is meant to support you. To make your life easier. It is not meant to be kept in your car port. To get hit by another car is a risk. And you have mitigated the risk by having it insured. That is the way how it is.
Since then I see that car differently. As my transportation facility. Not more than that. I won’t allow any idea of owning it to become part of me. In this way, I set my mental free from being hurt.
It was Friday evening last week. We were heading to a weekend. I always love weekend. I decided to hang out after office hour. Just a spontaneous decision. I went to the nearest a hang-out place. The building is not modern and really big one but so cozy. It has coffee shops, restaurants, bakery, juice counter, stationary shop and also pharmacy on ground floor and first floor. It has a cinema and a gym on the third floor. It also has an outdoor park with little ponds and a fountain. It is my favorite place for a my short break from office.
It has become a good meeting place for many people especially during lunch time and after office hours. And the good thing is that it is only a walking distance from my office.
I thought I needed a self-reward, I decided to enjoyed my favorite drink at the nearest Starbucks Coffee, alone. I was sitting in one of the corners, in a long wooden table, facing a big glass window in front of me. I can see people were passing by through the window. Trust me, I really enjoyed it.
I realized that it was the everyday scene before the pandemic. I had missed this scene for a long time. There was so much joy inside me. I wishpered to myself ‘The vibe is back’.
This week school started here. The covid cases has been relatively ‘under controll’ here, more and more people have been vaccinated. I myself have got my second jab a few weeks ago. The school started on Monday. So it has been a week. This morning I met some elementary students in their boy scout uniform walking back from school. I saw one little boy which his daddy walking behind him carrying his school backpack. This scene was so nice.
Looking at them walking back from school, I was feeling so happy. They have been waiting for this for more than three semesters or so. I couldn’t hide the excitement inside though I am not a student anymore. I was so sure that those kids were more excited than me. It is said that student life is the best life. I think I agree with whoever said this.
I have left my school days long long time ago. But I couldn’t hide the excitement inside me. I asked one of the boys ‘are you happy going back to school?’ He said that he liked it.
Nature never fails in giving gifts to us, if we may notice. I have a gardenia tree in my little garden. I noticed that it has been giving gorgeous flowers since June this year. I have been enjoying its white color and also the fragrance so much. Look at the beautiful picture below. I shared this picture to some friends and contacts. Along with the picture, I put a caption ‘what do you feel looking at this flower?’. Most of the people expressed their good feelings about it. It validated my thought that everybody loves flowers. A friend used the same word to express with me, ‘so gorgeous!’ We shared thr same feeling.
Only one person said that she didn’t feel anything. My other friend said that everyone relates to flower differently. The feeling might be different from one person to another as well. The seed of the beauty is not in the flower, but in the heart. The flower is just the trigger. The beauty (the feeling) is kept in the heart. Some will get triggered, other may not get triggered.
A friend sent me this picture. A very cute dog. He is Luke. My friend told me that he bought Luke as a gift for his wife at their wedding anniversary. It is their second dog. The first one is Axel. A different type of dog. I met both of them when I visited my friend a few years ago. Luke has become everyone’s favourite dog in the family. Everyone in the family should take the dogs out for a walk everyday. It was the deal they made. I think my friend loves the dogs very very much. Now I understand why people love their pets so much. I didn’t understand when another friend kept mourning for few days or weeks for the loss of her dog. I remembered a colleague had to take a half day leave from office to attend the funeral of her cat. It just didn’t compute in my mind at that time.
I asked my friend if somebody loved Luke and wanted to buy the dog : ‘Would you sell it?’ His answer was interesting. He said : ‘Noone wants to sell his family.’ Luke has become part of the family. I think he and his family have given him so much love and a very good care. I can see from the big smile, a very happy smile.
I never think of having any pet. I don’t think I have enough time and atttention to take care of it. When I was small and living in my parents’house, we had a small dog. I remember I used to play with it after school. And much later when I hmoved to my house, a nephew who lived with me was having a turtle. It was very small. But after a few years it grew so big. We planned to go out of town for one week or so. Not wanting to feel guilty leaving the turtle, I asked my nephew to give it to his friend who was willing to give a good care of it.
Someone used to say this to me. Company colors the soul. You are colored by the company you keep – your spouse, your family members, your friends, your colleagues etc. Those whom you work with or spend time with. You may get colored or you may color them. It depends o how strong your color (influence) in the companionship.
Now look at people around you. What do you talk when you are with them most of the time? There are three things – stuff or event, ideas or other people.
Some people like talking about stuff, a branded bag they just purchased, the latest gadget, the band new car, some are talking about the game they are playing. Average people talk about stuff or event. And some are talking about other people. They are called small people. What other people are doing or not doing, have or not have are completely their own business. These type of people mind other people’s business. This is the type of people you should avoid to be around.
It is said great people talk about ideas. They use their creative mind. Happiness lies in this. Contentment starts here. Not in stuff nor in a game. Happiness created through buying a brand new suff is just temporary. How long do you experience the happiness after you bought your new car?
If you want to become great, surround yourself with people who talk about visions and ideas. Not people. Not stuff nor event. Select the company you want to keep.