When I got covid-19 and just got tested, it said that my CT level was only 14. It was very low. The lowest among anyone I knew who got covid-19. I was introduced to start knowing some numbers. The body temperature, the pulse rate and also the oxygen saturation. All is indicated in numbers. I had an oxymeter to check the oxygen saturation and pulse with me. I heard from people the oxygen saturation tends to drop in covid patients. and when it drops to 90 or 85, one needs oxygen. The virus infects the lungs and quickly affect the respiratory system. Most of the covid patients experience shortness of breath, including me.
It should be checked regularly to know whether the patient need oxygen or not. Every time I checked my oxygen saturation that little monitor showed numbers, it kept changing from 99, 98, 97, 97,95, then 94. It takes a little bit of time to finally stop and show a number of oxygen saturation level. If you are the patient, that few seconds can make so panicked and restless. It was said that you need to be cautious if it goes down below 95. In such a situation, I decided not to check it again. I just didn’t want to know it anymore. Much later a friend who shared her story to me, taking care of four people in her family who got covid at the same time said that she became very stressful hearing the word oxygen saturation. The four people had to be hospitalized and all needed oxygen. The sad story was that one of them died, her brother in law.
The only thing that I kept with me is a thermometer. It was to check my body temperature. I needed to know if I still needed to take paracetamol or not. Covid-19 might not a simple disease. But I didn’t want to get myself complicated with those numbers and get stressed and worried. Worries would never help me. So I chose not to be worried.
I remember I had a thought of having a celebration when I got recovered. I call it ‘30 Minutes Celebration, free from Covid-19’. I shared this idea to a friend. In fact my body was so weak at that time. My friend might think that I had been feeling better. He said ‘It is a great idea. When you keep light and positive about it, it will inspire people.’ Actually I was not even going through my lowest point, my body was too weak and I still got high fever. Yet my mind was busy thinking and planning on the idea – the format of the celebration, what I wanted to share or say, who would be invited etc. Thinking of the celebration is having a positive thought. A positive thought gives power to the soul. This thought has made me focus on the recovery and not on the sickness. It must have contributed to my speedy recovery.
Since then I have a mission to encourage people to stay calm and stay courageous in dealing covid-19. Last Sunday I had my celebration on ZOOM. I invited my bosses, colleagues and friends for this. I was very happy that they could make it. I shared my experience in dealing with Covid-19 fearlessly, how I stayed happy and courageous. To my bosses, colleagues and friends, thank you for making time to join my celebration. You have supported me through your good wishes. I am so grateful to have you all.
When a colleague was being hospitalized due to Covid-19 in December last year, he told me that he didn’t like the meals provided by the hospital. I posted his story on A Solo Battle. So he decided to get his meals from outside through online order.
When I was in my self-quarantine at home, I didn’t have choices what to have for my meals. I only had in my stock one big package of oats, a box of raisin and a box of milk. I was not favourite for having breakfast with oats and raisin actually. But that was the only menu that I could have for breakfast. It is very easy and very quick to prapare. Only 3 minutes! My body was too weak to prepare my own meal longer than 3 minutes. So I had oats and raisin for my breakfast every single day. Since then I love this breakfast.
I had vegie soup for my lunch. I call it three-colors soup. Sweet corn, spinach and carrot. It looks fresh and super nice. I also had this menu every sibgle day. When I shared my soup photo to my colleague (I mention above) with a caption ‘I am very grateful with this soup’. He quickly responded ‘It must taste so good’. In fact I only put salt and pepper in it. It is just similar with hospital’s meal. It’s quite plain, not spicy at all.
The covid patients are always adviced to have sun rays, so I also did it. I sat just right in front of my front door to get the morning rays from the sun. It was really cool having my favourite drink, honey lemon tea. It is the hot one. It was just my mood booster.
I was really grateful with my simple meals during my self-quarantine.
When you are grateful, your heart is happy because you love what you have and you are not craving for something you don’t have.
It has always been very CLEAR with me that this virus only infects the body, not the soul. The soul remains safe and courageous. I kept telling myself and everyone ‘I know this soul is very strong.’
I think this thought helped me a lot in dealing with the virus. My friend said that this is the power of thought.
I took the medicine and vitamins that prescribed by a doctor. I had my covid vaccine. I heard from many people that after having vaccinated someone may still get infected but with mild symptoms, like me. This also helped me in my recovery.
I could maintain a state of having no complaint, about my situation nor the virus. I always communicated to the virus with love ‘Virus, you may stay here but I need to make this body strong. You will be more comfortable when this body is strong.’ In this way, I only allowed love fill my heart, including love for the virus. When there is love, there is no fear. In this way I remained fearless.
Actually people are not afraid of covid-19 but death. Because rarely people have prepared for their death.
I have one mission now, to inspire as many people as possible not to be afraid of covid-19 and stay courageous.
Anger is not a basic emotion. Anger is often a reaction to a pain. It can be a physical pain, like tiredness, hunger, thirst or other pain of the body or mental pain like sadness, insecurities, feeling hurt, feeling unworthy etc. Any of these pain may trigger an anger.
I always avoid scheduling a meeting close to lunch time. I remember when I was mentoring some mentees for a management training program, and they were scheduling for their final project presentation, I always suggested either early in the morning or after lunch time. It was a presentation in front of managers as the panelists. When people are hungry, they tend to become a slightly short-tempered, make wrong judgement or make inaccurate decision.
Anger is an emotion, so it should be managed. Anger that is not managed may become so distructive. E-motion is an energy in motion, it should be expressed not suppressed. To express an anger is to release it and to finish it. It doesn’t mean that if you are angry with someone and you will need to shout at her or him or speak with a high-toned voice. No! It is a destructive way. Someone said when you do that, it will hurt that person and he or she will remember or probably carry that hurt for another six months. It is not to finish the anger then.
What is the way to release this emotion that is not desctructive? It is advised to move away from the situation for a little while. If you stay there, you will tend to react unnecessarily like shouting, blaming, complaining or criticizing. You might not be able to control your words. Ussually you will end it up with regret. It creates another emotion. When you physically move away, your mental focus is switched. It allows yourself to take a mental break. It will become effective to avoid you from reacting. Any emotion is temporary, so you need to deal with it so well in that short period of time. You will surely calm down soon. Just make sure not to react when the temper is rising.
I was asked if I have a daily practice to develop my self-respect. Self-respect definitely needs to be developed. It is self-developed. It is not given by somebody. It also needs to be nurtured. It is not an over-night work and when it is done, you can leave it. No! You need to nurture it. If not, it will die. Like a country, you need to have a security system to make sure that enemy will not attact the country any time. If the security system is not strong, your old enemy may come back to sabotage your self-respect. Who is your enemy? the ego. Always the same enemy. Probably the only enemy for self-respect. Ego is the false identity of the self, either your superior nor inferior one. When the ego rules, he hijacts your throne. You are not sitting on a stable seat of self-respect. The ego becomes the king and you become the subject.
My daily practice to develop and nurture my self-respect is meditation and journaling. It has become my morning practice for the last few years. I never missed these two in the morning to start my day. This is my ‘me time’. I hardly have any distraction in the morning time. No one needs me. No one wants to talk with me. No one calls me. This is the best time to invest my time and energy for myself.
Meditation is to know the self better. To know the self is to know what is going on inside me. What kind of movie that keeps playing in my head? I have to pay attention to this movie because it has a direct impact on me personally. So I need to know the quality of the movie. If you think you need to edit the movie, do it. You are the movie maker of your daily life.
Journaling is like creating the script of the movie. you are writing the story of your own movie. You are your own movie director. By putting it in writing, you make the story more real to you. Each day we are preparing our own script for our own movie.
This practice has helped me to remain seated on my throne. This is the stable seat for the self, where no one and no situation can bring you down.
If you need to take a thousand steps to achieve your goal, you first have to start with your first step. For taking this one step, you need motivation. You definitely needs power to start something. How to get yourself motivated and have power to start. Someone might inspire you through what he has done. You might have known or even met many inspiring figures and you were so inspired and motivated. But why you don’t see yourself as successful as those who inspired you?
If you want to reach your goal, then motivation is not enough. Motivation is what gets you started. It is what makes you take your first step toward your goal. You still need to take another 999 steps. It is not easy. It takes time. It might also take your sweat and tears. It takes so much patience. What you need to do is to keep taking steps and not giving up.
You might need to take a completely different way or probably you need to develop a new habit and stop your old habit of doing. You may get yourself motivated by others, but when you have to develop a new habit, you have to do it alone. In this, that many fail. There is no shortcut to success.
Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.
We have come to the end of January and we are going to leave it very soon. I feel new year was just yesterday. Time flies so fast. Do you think so?
I am going to write about a resolution. A new year resolution. New year has passed, but I think it is still valid to talk about it. If I don’t have made one on the 1st January, I would not feel bad about it. I free myself to make it anytime during the year. I also free myself to make some revision on what I have made. Anyway it is all for me and what I am going to do with me and my life.
Do you have any fear in life? What is your biggest fear? If someone asks me this question, I can give my honest answer very quickly. My biggest fear is to become broke. I am afraid of having no money and I can’t afford buying anything I need. I think being broke really sucks. Sometimes I feel embarrased when I am sharing this to people. But I think to feel embarrased also means to have another fear. So I decided to just share it.
One of my last year resolutions was to live like I was broke. Let me live like I am broke before I really become broke. I remembered one of the Buddhist teachings that relates to this. It says ‘Die before you die. When you die, you don’t die’. It is very enlightening, isn’t it? So I set myself to become like I was broke in spending. I tried my best to be less spending. I know some people are having no spending challenge. I think this is a cool idea. No spending week or no spending month or even no spending year.
When I just made this resolution I shared it to a friend, she looked shocked hearing this from me. I still remember her expression on her face, but it was not the first time for me to make her shocked.
I learned one thing from having this resolution last year, I became more aware of the value of money. I became more mindful in spending.
Wherever you are, you are vibrating energy. This is the energy of thoughts. Thoughts that you have in your mind create vibration. It is energy. Mental or spiritual energy. You keep generating this energy within you consciously or subconsciously. You are contributing energy to the atmosphere all the time. You can feel the energy of people who always have vision very clearly in life, they are very optimistic, they always have hope and never lose hope. Those people always think positively n matter what happen. They always focus on solution when the are facing a problem. They never lose their faith. Without say anything, when you meet such people you can feel their energy, very powerful. In the same way, when you meet people who are problem-focused, not having a clear vision for the future, not having enough faith, they lose hope, without them telling you, you can feel their energy. It is vibration. Energy creates vibration.
Whatever energy you have in you, you are contributing the energy to the atmosphere. If you want to change the atmosphere, change your thoughts. Create only good thoughts. Thoughts that elevate. Thoughts that uplift. The stronger the thought, the stronger the vibration is created in the atmosphere. People will pick up those vibration automatically. This will become an incognito gift for everyone. The best gift. If you give this gift, everyone will accept this gift. No one will reject your gift.
If your energy level is low or you are weak, you are picking up the energy, but if it is high, you are contributing. Which one do you prefer?