Miss Baby Corn

Do you easily get bored? What do you do when you get bored?

My friend was telling me how she played a song in her car while driving on her way to or from work many many times. She loved the song. She told me that the lyrics was so beautiful. When her older sister was happenedly going with her in the car and she played the song and kept replaying it, her sister expressed her amazement that she had not get bored listening (problably also singing it) “again?!”

Actually I tend to do the same with song or music, but also with a short podcast or audio classes. I can play it again and again and again.

Some years ago I played an audio record of someone giving a lecture. I like the topic and also the way he was delivering it with so much fun….and so honest sharing on his experience. It was recorded in a compact disc. I remembered that I kept the CD sitting there in the player in my car for at least the whole year. I had no idea how many times I had listened to it. I was quite sure more than a hundred times.

I do the same in eating. I have been eating same food (menu) for the last two months at least for my breakfast and my lunch. I cook baby corn mixed with other vegetables and have it for breakfast and lunch. A simple dish actually, probably too simple. It just needs a very quick preparation. This is one of the reasons why I choose to cook this dish. I skip dinner most of the time. I noticed that by having this menu everyday I never have any problem with my digestion system.

“Miss Baby Corn”

My colleagues knew this and they start calling me ‘Miss Baby Corn’. They are amazed how I can have it everyday without feeling bored. Each time I have it, I enjoy it, especially when it is still fresh and hot.

I see colleagues often do not know what to have for their lunch. They take a bit of time to think and decide what to have for lunch. They keep changing their menus. Rarely same menus for several days in a row. I save so much time in this.

It does’t mean that I never get bored. I do. But at least not in the areas I shared above or in what I like.

Is it really a problem if you don’t get bored very easily? Or getting bored very easily is more a problem?

Valentine’s Day

February is special,  known as the month of love. It has Valentine’s day in it. Every 14th of February people celebrate Valentine’s day. Love is the breath in life. It is the oxygent. It is needed by each and every living being. I cannot imagine how life would be without love.

I don’t remember exactly when I knew that February 14th is Valentine’s day and who is Valentine and the story behind it. It is not in our culture here to celebrate Valentine’s day. Especially many many years ago when internet and social media were something not popular. When people were living with news papers, radio and television.

I remember a friend was telling me a sweet story of her with her daddy when she was still a young teenaged girl. She is the only daughter in the family, very much loved by her parents. She lived in a small town in North Sumatera called Tarutung, not far from Toba lake.

Say it with chocolate!

I don’t know exactly what happened in her school that day on the Valentine’s day. But when she arrived home she excitedly told her dad that it was Valentine’s day. In those days Valentine’s day was only popular among young people. So he asked his young daughter ‘What is Valentine’s day?’

I guess it was the first time he heard it. And my friend explained that valentine day is when a boy gives chocolate to a girl. A quite simple definition from a young teenaged girl.

In the evening her dad brought home chocolate for her. I can imagine how these two people expressed their love to each other in that moment. My friend was ofcourse surprised. So lovely and so sweet.

A note to myself

I have shared in this blog that I had my personal projects going on. 3 projects at the same time. This is my personal projects. It has to do with noone except me. I called it a 100-day project. Literally each project was for 100 days.

First one was on spirituality, how I wanted to see myself made a progress in this.

Second project was on health, how I would be more conscious and focused on health, physically, mentally and also emotionally. And this refered to a book I read. I wanted to put more attention and also time on what I learned from that book. I wanted to understand what was written on the book more deeply and if possible I could put it into practice. So it did not only please my ears but also my soul. Or if possible, it could change my soul (my self).

And the third project was on finance. If I wanted to become free from any worries, then that would be free from money worries.

Now those 3 projects are completed. Have I reached my goal? Am I satisfied? Probably I have not reached my goal yet, but I am sure I have made steps towards the goal. I am not standing at the same point where I started. I am not satisfied either. And this is what keeps me going.

If I have to write a note to myself, it would be ‘Thank you for being so honest.’

When do you follow your feeling?

When you have to make an important decision, do you always need someone’s opinion?

A friend of mine planned to buy a new car. Buying a car for many people is considered as an investment. It needs quite a lot of money. She is an unmarried woman. Being unmarried means having no partner to discuss with and in her situation is on automotive updates. She said to me “If I have a husband, at least I have someone who can give me a view of what car I should buy.” She needed someone to discuss with.

Probably this is one of downsides of being a single. Of course it is not always the case.

I remembered a colleague when she was going to take her car ownership program for her, she discussed it with her husband who happenedly worked for Toyota for many years. He was very much exposed to technology updates in automotive. He gave her his opinion on this and probably too much for her. They ended up with a conflict. The husband was very strong with his suggestion while my colleague wanted him to give her a bit of freedom to decide.

It is very interesting how two people have a completely different perspective for the same situation, for buying a car. Both are female. This automotive world might belong to males more than females.

Is automotive world more for males?

I remembered my own situation a few years ago. Actually I knew what to buy, a brand with road assisstant services. This was my number one criteria for choosing a brand for a car. As a female driver, I am aware that I need this assistance in case of an emergency. Just out of curiosity, I went to a show room of another brand. I had a test-drive there. It was a good experience driving that car, very comfortable. A test drive can really give an experience for the driver. And it can change someone’s mind. And I changed my mind. I made a very quick decision to choose that brand. I did not need anyone to discuss with. I followed my feeling. I even compromised to the criteria I have put earlier.

Mount Abu

I think I have to be thankful to my colleagues. Deep down in our hearts we are supporting one another though superficially we sometimes look like Tom and Jerry to one another.

Our communication has been so open that anyone can say anything about any of us. No one should get hurt or probably ‘should learn not to get hurt’. We learn one another’s personalities without any judgement and learn to accept them. If we are full-time working probably we might spend our times with our colleagues more that with anyone else. So when your relationship with those who work with you should be enjoyable.

When I became a bit more reactive, some colleagues said to me “I think you need ‘namaste’. You have not gone to a retreat for several years.”

I have been practicing meditation and they call it ‘namaste’. They are very funny. They understand meditation helps, at least what they see in me. When I began to be a little bit reactive to a situation in the office, a colleague said “You have become like us. So you urgently need a ‘namaste’.” They were aware of me being different from them and they wanted me to stay different. It is intereating to know this.

They even asked me to get the nearest schedule for a retreat for me. They encourage me to go and I have planned to go to Mount Abu India.

A question that blew my mind

At the end of every year I am always reminded to resolution that I made in the previous year. Are you always on track with your goals you set up for the year? Are you ready for a new one for the year 2023?

Someone said before setting a new resolution for the coming year, firstly do the review of this year. What has gone well and what haven’t gone well that you need to improve.

I looked up again my files in my ipad in which I always write them down. I named each file “Resolution 2019  Resolution 2020 etc.” I have 4 files for the last four years. I always write them in details having the ‘SMART principle’ for goal setting in my mind. SMART is shortened from – specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bond. Basically a resolution is a goal setting, what you want to achieve during the one year. And for me, it is very much a habit setting, what I am going to do (daily) to achieve that goals. It is very easy to review then. Just ask question ‘Do I do this action? Do I do it regularly? What percentage am I on track?’ Did I make any change along the way?

I was not 100% on track. I was not rigidly following the action plans I have made. I made some changes here and there. I dropped some also. I am a bit flexible but not slacked. When I am inspired to do something differently and in a better way, I am open to adjust. In this way I allow myself to improve and also to grow. I allow some newness to take place.

For example in May this year, I was inspired to make a 100 day project for my self on healing the heart. Of course it was not in my resolution list. I was quite consistent doing it on a daily basis and when it was completed, I decided to continue to another project with a different topic. Along the way I was then also inspired to do project on health and wealth. Now 3 projects are still going on. I will surely sit and prepare my new resolution for 2023. Probably not completely new. I will carry on with my 3 projects.

About this 3 projects, only a few days ago just out of the blue a friend texted me “Hi sister, how are your projects going on?’ This is definitely not a frequently asked question, but the most wanted one. It really blew my mind.

Happy New Year, everyone!!!

Joy Of Missing Out

December this year looks different from December last year in 2021 and definitely different from one in 2020. At least what I see in my office. Some colleagues have started to prepare their family vacation during Christmas holiday and New Year. Some even had their early year end vacation last week. I think it is a good idea, because hotels are fully booked for new year and prices have gone very high.

December last year I went to Bali for a short escape with a friend. Though we were still shadowed by the Omicron variant but we decided to go to Bali. We went early December last years anticipating the crowd during Christmas and new year. Bali just started opening for tourist last year. Many hotels were not ready for receiving guests. I remembered we booked a very nice hotel, 4 star one in Ubud with a very good price, later we knew that not all the rooms were open for guests. Not fully booked last year. Today, no need to ask. I think most of the hotels are fully booked including ones in the city. Since staycation has become a choice nowadays for those who don’t want to travel.

December in 2020 was a completely different story. Noone was talking about having a holiday. Most of the hotels were closed. Many restrictions were applied everywhere. My colleagues and bosses got covid after a kick-off meeting. Some even needed hospitalization. Sadly a colleague left us forever only a few days after the new year. Covid was very scary in those days. It was still unknown.

Seeing the scenes, what people around me are trying to enjoy the holiday and also feeling the vibes make me feel so good inside. The moment is back!

Today was the last working day before Christmas in my office. Some colleagues even have taken their leaves starting today. In my room, there were only 3 of us, holiday vibe was felt. A colleague told me that she is going to take her kids to Komodo island. They plan to stay there for a week. Just listening to her, I was feeling excited.

I myself will not go anywhere. I am very far from ‘fomo’, while everybody is away, I would prefer to spend time with myself at home. I can do it for days and I enjoy it. Being in solitude is also a luxury. In fact I am more ‘jomo’, joy of missing out.

How to change your mindset

During the weekend, last week I joined a 3-day training. It was a long training. I thanked to my best friend who invited me to join this training.

Almost the whole training was about mindset, how to change the mindset and how deal with false beliefs. I think everyone of us has false belief of some areas of our lives. This false belief is also very often limiting us. It doesn’t liberate us. It sometimes even stops us from pursuing our dream.

We were given a handouts for our exercises. There are 72 common false beliefs in one of the exercises and we have to score ourselves on each one.

This training really taught me how to deal with my false beliefs. Easy to be said than done. It doesn’t mean that after the 3 day training all my false beliefs will fly away out of the window. No. It will never happen like that. It always takes some efforts and some times.

Do you find it easy to change your mindset? Have you ever been successful in this?

So what I have to do next is to really internalize it into me so the 3-day effort is not just forgotten easily and does not give me any impact. There has to be an impact on me, I said to myself. If possible a permanent one. And for this internalization, I have made a 100-day project. I go through and work on the 72 false beliefs. One false belief each day. I reflect and ask myself ‘Do you have this belief? What do you understand about this belief? How much has this belief influenced you? How to put it right? etc.’ I then put it in writing, in my journal book. I am still continuing my project now.

I look forward seeing a completely ‘different me’ in 100 days.

Financial Freedom

Financial Freedom. It sounds really cool. The definition of financial freedom is to have a lifestyle that you desire without having to work or rely on anyone else for money. It is so cool, isn’t it?

Your money works hard for you that all your expenses is covered by your passive income. You don’t need to worry about money. You may spend your whole day, whole week doing something you love. You are carefree.

How much money do you need for your financial freedom?

I remembered when I was in my early 30s, I often discussed with a friend on idea of early retirement. My friend kept saying it to me “Are we going to work like this till the rest of our lives? I think we need to have a courage to resign and do what we love.” The idea also sounded really cool.

By the way we did not work for the same company. She was working for a bank at that time. I am not sure what she was doing exactly. She was only in her late 20s. So she is younger than me. To follow the passion is cool. It definitely needs some preparation and calculation.

I didn’t know about financial freedom at that time. You need to make some preparation for your financial freedom. It takes some works, also some disciplines.

Looking back to that time and today with the financial crisis in front us, if I took the decision to retire early, it was going to be the decision I would regret. Taking a really big risk in life without thinking it really deeply.

How much money do you need to have your financial freedom? Eveybody would have a different amount. Freedom is more a feeling, something non-physical. When you have to put a number to something feeling-based, then it will be quite different from one person to another. And there is nothing wrong with any number someone puts. It very much depends on the readiness of the heart in each one.

What sounds cool is not always cool.

Don’t get caught up.

It is serious! If you have a problem in your life and it is really a very big problem, I tell you “Dont get caught up in that particular problem!”

And it means you should not only think that one problem day and night, for several days or weeks. No! It is not worth it.

If you are in a relationship with someone, I tell you the same “Don’t get caught up in that one relationship!”

Many people get caught up in their committed relationships.

You might be inspired by one particular person. You might like him or her so much. And it is OK to get inspired, it is good. You then decide to do something in your life, probably to make some changes. That inspiration might become a little push for you. And many times you might need it. But then realize, that’s enough. You have to carry on with your own life. You can not become dependent all the time to whoever give you inspiration or support. Don’t become his or her devotee. I observed this devotion feeling in a comitted relationship  and I found it ended up unhealthy for one party or even for both.

Company colors the soul. It is the right expression for this. You probably don’t want to get coloured by one company, you might want to have your own colour. For this, make sure that you are not caught up in one relationship.

If you find yourself caught up in one problem, get something to distract your attention. Get your mind distrancted. Read a book or go for a walk for example. It helps your mind refreshed. It doesn’t mean that you don’t try to solve it, not at all. Sometimes because the problem is so complicated, you can see its root cause really clearly and you can’t see any clear solution. You need to pause yourself for some times.

Your life is not only about one problem or one person you have a relationship with. Make your life as colorful as you want it to be. Make friends with as many people as possible. When you are making friends with them, become one who brings a positive influence. Become one who colors your companies.