Have you experienced yourself losing someone due to death? It might be your spouse, family member, relative or friend. How did you feel it? How did you deal with it?
My elder brother passed away only a few days ago. I got this sad news from his son who lived with him. I knew that he was the one who experienced loss the most for this.
When someone dies, actually it is the soul leaving his body. The soul still exists somewhere, not in that body but somewhere. Because the soul is eternal. It will never get destroyed. A soul is a very tiny point of light. A point of energy. Energy can not be destroyed. The body is the vehicle of the soul, it will go back to nature, where it belongs. You miss the soul (the spirit), not the body. It was the spirit that you call it as the ‘living’. And the body is in fact the ’non-living‘. If the spirit always exists and never gets destroyed, do you really lose him? No. He is just not around, but he still remains. Not here, but somewhere. You still can send your good wishes to him and it will surely reach the soul.
We are taught to have faith in life, in the self and in God. And in this particular situation of death, it is more about having faith in life. Everything that happens in life including death of someone’s is not a coincidence. It is what is meant to happen. Everything happens accurately. There is never a mistake. It happens at the right time, at the right moment. Are you ready to accept what is predestined to happen in life?
When I was telling this to my nephew, I felt like I was reminding myself. It somehow empowered him and me as well.
This is a true story of my colleague on how he dealt with covid. It was Christmas Eve, last year. He had made a plan for a family gathering on that night. A few days before he got himself tested for covid and the result was only received on Dec 24th. He decided to have everyone in the house to do the rapid test with the quickest result. Four people of his family members got tested. They had to cancel the plan for the family gathering and change into a plan for a self quarantine. If the four members of the family would be positive covid, then they would stay in the house for their self quarantine. But if the rest of the family members were negative covid, then he would decide to leave the house and find a place for his self quarantine.
The results of the test were only received late in the evening via email. They were all negative covid. So he decided to leave the house that night. He packed his stuff in a luggage and drove himself to find a hotel for the quarantine. He was having no symptom of covid at that time. Only after mid night he checked in into a hotel. He managed everything by himself during the quarantine. After a few days in the hotel, he experienced himself to have some covid symptoms. He started to consider to go to hospital. And he ended up being hospitalized as a covid patient for about two weeks. He did it all alone. He had to go through his critical period in the hospital all alone. No family member could visit him. No colleague nor friend could visit him. This is covid. It is different. A solo battle! It takes so much strength to become the winner in this battle physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
I really appreciate how he managed himself. I think it was so heroic. He won the battle.
Many people agree that meditation is a good practice. It is good for your mental health, emotional health and spiritual health. It is very good to make it into your daily practice. Just like you make time for a physical exercise believing that it is good for keeping your physical health. You invest your time and even money for what makes your body remain healthy. You might also consume healthy food for this purpose. You make yourself committed in this two. But why to make meditation as a daily practice is not easy for some people. Many people fail to make it into their daily routine whereas mental health, emotional heart and spiritual health are no less important. I know some do not know how to meditate. Some do not know how to enjoy it. They don’t find it fun. Not something creative. Some find it interesting in the beginning, but they then find it boring on the way. They stop practicing. They become frustrated. Many do not share this.
Last week I was sharing on creative meditation. It was an online session. Meditation is very much using the mind, intellect and heart. This is an inward journey. A silent journey. You take this journey alone. It sounds very lonely and not fun. You need to be creative if you want to enjoy this journey (practice).
Here are some tips for a creative meditation
1. Do it in the morning. Morning hour is the best time to do it. The atmosphere is usually peaceful. Less distractions. If you are interested to start practising this, I can suggest you to wake up earlier than people around you. Make meditation your first activity in the morning. Refresh yourself first by washing your face and brushing your teeth. Don’t look at your smart phone before you finish this practice. It will distract your mind very quickly and very easily. Save yourself from this distraction.
2. Prepare some topics (thoughts) for your meditation. Meditation is a practice for the mind. It is not to make your mind empty from any thought. It is not possible to have your mind empty. The nature of mind is to think, to create thoughts. So what you need to do is to prepare some topics or thoughts you are going to think and experience during your meditation session. What kind of thoughts? Positive thoughts of the self. Like ‘I am courageous.’ ‘I am the captain of my soul’. ‘I am great’. Having this prepared thoughts will help your mind to focus. When you find your mind get distracted, you pull it back to any of the prepared thought.
3. Time Management. Whether you set 30 minutes or more for your meditation practice, you need to make sure that you take the maximum benefit from that amount of time you invest. For this I can suggest you to use the interval timer application. It will ‘beeb’ at the time you set as your interval to tell you to move your focus on the next thought.
4. Write what you like from your meditation session. Write only what you like, some clarities or som nice feelings. If you experience some distraction and you don’t experience something so nice, write what you expected. This will complete your experience.
I make this time to revisit my heart, the spirit inside. It has been sitting there for such a long time. I have been very busy listening the noise of my ego in my head. I have been neglecting myself. I have started believing what my ego said to me and it has completely made my heart weak and broken.
I make this time to sit with my true self, and listen. I open my heart. I feel very confortable.
It speaks very gently to me: “You are very special. You are loveable. You are here to share your love. Open your heart and express your love. Let the energy flow from the inside out”
It is so empowering and encouraging.
I can feel the energy of love fills my heart. I feel myself empowered.
Now I invite the Greatest Healer to fill my heart with His healing energy. I keep my heart open for His pure loving energy. His love is unconditional. His love is permanent and so uplifting. He has a very loving heart to everybody. I can trust Him. I have nothing to hide from Him. I let Him help me in this healing process. I keep His company with me.
The feeling becomes stronger and stronger. This genuine love puts all the pieces of my heart together. It heals the wounds and the scars. My heart become whole again.
What do you expect from a relationship? There is an expectation in almost all relationships we have. We might not be aware of it until our heart gets hurt.
What do we do then? We stay away from those who have hurt our hearts. This is the easiest way, not necessarily the right way nor effective way. We stay away physically, though mentally we might still think about it. We still carry this hurt in our mind. Sometimes we also speak about it to people. Everytime we are giving our attention (energy) to it, the hurt becomes stronger. We sustain the hurt through this way.
The weak one will do that. But the courageous one will work on the inside. They will realize the expection they have from the relationship that they thought has given that hurt, and start working on it. It needs courage. To deal with the self always needs more courage. Many people are not ready to see themselves being fragile and weak inside. But if you choose this way, you will become so strong inside. Your heart is strong and protected. And you will stop blaming anyone or situation to be the reason for your hurt. Because it is always the expectation!
Can a heart become empty? Sure. Have you experienced your heart empty? How did you feel it? You did not like it, did you?
When my heart is empty, I will expect someone to fill it with love. I am craving for love constantly until my heart is full. Love is the energy that is needed by the heart. The energy to live. Noone can live without this energy. And when someone gives me love, because my heart is empty, I will become selfish with that love. All I can think is that ‘You are loving me. You are supporting me. You are caring for me.’ At the same time I am creating fear in my heart. Fear of losing the person who gives me love, the source of my love. When there is fear, love won’t exist. Because love exists in the absence of fear. Both can not exist at the same time.
If you want to free yourself from craving for love from people, what you need to do is to deal with your empty heart. Make it full with love. Do you know how to make your heart full? You heart has the capacity to generate love. So do it. Learn this skill to generate love from within and make your heart full with love till stop craving for love. You will stop expecting love from anyone. You won’t create a dependent love on someone. You will keep giving love instead and stop creating fear.
Everyone might have experienced their hearts broken. Everyone’s heart has become so fragile and weak. This is not our physical heart, but our non-physical heart. How to fix this broken heart? In fact the heart is you yourself, the one who says ‘my heart is broken’. It is the living spirit who resides in your physical body. It is the spirit who use the body. The body is like a vehicle for the spirit. You can not touch it, but you can feel it so real. because it is you, how can you not feel it so real? This spirit has broken into pieces. How to fix this spirit then? or in other words, how to fix you?
Only you have the access into it. Only you can open it. Only you can bring all the pieces together again and make it whole again. Embrace all the pieces and start the healing. Take the healing energy from the Greatest Healer. Open your heart and let Him heal you. Let Him fill your heart with His purest healing power.
Let there be only you and Him in this healing process. Only you and the Greatest Healer.
If someone asks you what you want to have for your heart, what would be your answer?
The other day I was sharing with a friend that I wanted to have an open and big heart. A heart that can love everybody. A heart that can accommodate everybody. A heart that will exclude or reject nobody. Everybody is included. Each one can experience a sense of belonging. This is the heart that can bring everybody close to each other where each one feels secured and safe. A heart that is whole.
Do you think it is possible?
Each one’s heart might have been broken into pieces these days. It is not whole any more. It might also have a lot of wounds and also scares. Somebody might be holding a little piece of his heart and the other is holding another little piece. Those two little pieces can not accomodate each other. You can not share your heart if it is broken into pieces. It is too small to share. A broken heart is a small and very limited heart. There is disunity when each one’s heart is broken.
I said to him that I have made this thought into a ‘must have’ menu in my meditation everyday. I visualize people of the whole world as one big family. We belong to One. I invite them to sit in my open and big heart.
Developing an attitude of gratitude is really the way to happiness. If you want to make yourself happy right now, you need to develop this attitude. Be grateful for everything you have with you. List down everything you have right now that you are grateful for – health, job, family, friends, good relationship, some skills, food, clothes, house, vehicle etc. Many people do not have what you have right now. Many people out there are struggling for what you have.
Be grateful for what is with you now. Don’t wait till they are gone and you can only appreciate it whe it is already gone. It will be too late. There will be only regret.
If you focus on what you have, your heart will become content. A contented heart is a happy heart. To be grateful is to be happy. So don’t postpone your happiness till you get what you want to get. Be happy right now.
Don’t think too much of what you do not have right now. Don’t let it steal your happiness.
Can you write a list of what you are grateful for right now?
Meditation is an art to deal with the noise of the self in your own head. Can you hear the constant noise inside your head? Or do you find it easy to make it quiet? A friend said to me that it is very hard to make the mind quiet. Who makes that noise? You have the 3 personalities inside you, “the inferior I”, “the superior I” and “the real I.” For many people it is their “inferior I” that makes noise more than the other two personalities. You might hear the voices like “I am not good enough.” “I am not valued.” ”I am excluded.” This is the noise made by the “inferior I”. You might hear voice like “I know better.” “I am more experienced.” “They should listen to me.” Which voice do you listen the most? And the “the real I” ussually speak the least. “the real I” always speaks the uplifting voice.
You need to deal with those 3 personalities in your head to make the mind quiet. How to deal with it? Observe, listen and don’t judge. This is the easy steps to start a mediation: 1. Find a place to sit where you would not get distracted during your meditation session. 2. Sit comfortably and relaxed. 3. Let your eyes open 4. Turn your attention within (inside your forehead). It is where the mind is located. Observe what is going on. 5. Acknowledge the noise. Acknowledge which personality is speaking or creating that noise. 6. Let them speak. 7. Keep observing, keep listening. 8. Don’t judge.
If you keep observing and not judging, ussually they will become quiet. Only then you can let “the real I” speak any thought that elevates you like “I am great.” Let the intellect listen that thought and churn it. To churn it means to think it more deeply. Bring your awareness to it. The heart will very soon generate a feeling of greatness. You feel what you think. Choose to think elevated thoughts and you will generate elevated feelings.
Mediation is a powerful way to take your energy back – emotional, mental and spiritual energy. You might need to practice this everyday and make it into your self-care routine.