When do you follow your feeling?

When you have to make an important decision, do you always need someone’s opinion?

A friend of mine planned to buy a new car. Buying a car for many people is considered as an investment. It needs quite a lot of money. She is an unmarried woman. Being unmarried means having no partner to discuss with and in her situation is on automotive updates. She said to me “If I have a husband, at least I have someone who can give me a view of what car I should buy.” She needed someone to discuss with.

Probably this is one of downsides of being a single. Of course it is not always the case.

I remembered a colleague when she was going to take her car ownership program for her, she discussed it with her husband who happenedly worked for Toyota for many years. He was very much exposed to technology updates in automotive. He gave her his opinion on this and probably too much for her. They ended up with a conflict. The husband was very strong with his suggestion while my colleague wanted him to give her a bit of freedom to decide.

It is very interesting how two people have a completely different perspective for the same situation, for buying a car. Both are female. This automotive world might belong to males more than females.

Is automotive world more for males?

I remembered my own situation a few years ago. Actually I knew what to buy, a brand with road assisstant services. This was my number one criteria for choosing a brand for a car. As a female driver, I am aware that I need this assistance in case of an emergency. Just out of curiosity, I went to a show room of another brand. I had a test-drive there. It was a good experience driving that car, very comfortable. A test drive can really give an experience for the driver. And it can change someone’s mind. And I changed my mind. I made a very quick decision to choose that brand. I did not need anyone to discuss with. I followed my feeling. I even compromised to the criteria I have put earlier.

Mount Abu

I think I have to be thankful to my colleagues. Deep down in our hearts we are supporting one another though superficially we sometimes look like Tom and Jerry to one another.

Our communication has been so open that anyone can say anything about any of us. No one should get hurt or probably ‘should learn not to get hurt’. We learn one another’s personalities without any judgement and learn to accept them. If we are full-time working probably we might spend our times with our colleagues more that with anyone else. So when your relationship with those who work with you should be enjoyable.

When I became a bit more reactive, some colleagues said to me “I think you need ‘namaste’. You have not gone to a retreat for several years.”

I have been practicing meditation and they call it ‘namaste’. They are very funny. They understand meditation helps, at least what they see in me. When I began to be a little bit reactive to a situation in the office, a colleague said “You have become like us. So you urgently need a ‘namaste’.” They were aware of me being different from them and they wanted me to stay different. It is intereating to know this.

They even asked me to get the nearest schedule for a retreat for me. They encourage me to go and I have planned to go to Mount Abu India.

A question that blew my mind

At the end of every year I am always reminded to resolution that I made in the previous year. Are you always on track with your goals you set up for the year? Are you ready for a new one for the year 2023?

Someone said before setting a new resolution for the coming year, firstly do the review of this year. What has gone well and what haven’t gone well that you need to improve.

I looked up again my files in my ipad in which I always write them down. I named each file “Resolution 2019  Resolution 2020 etc.” I have 4 files for the last four years. I always write them in details having the ‘SMART principle’ for goal setting in my mind. SMART is shortened from – specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bond. Basically a resolution is a goal setting, what you want to achieve during the one year. And for me, it is very much a habit setting, what I am going to do (daily) to achieve that goals. It is very easy to review then. Just ask question ‘Do I do this action? Do I do it regularly? What percentage am I on track?’ Did I make any change along the way?

I was not 100% on track. I was not rigidly following the action plans I have made. I made some changes here and there. I dropped some also. I am a bit flexible but not slacked. When I am inspired to do something differently and in a better way, I am open to adjust. In this way I allow myself to improve and also to grow. I allow some newness to take place.

For example in May this year, I was inspired to make a 100 day project for my self on healing the heart. Of course it was not in my resolution list. I was quite consistent doing it on a daily basis and when it was completed, I decided to continue to another project with a different topic. Along the way I was then also inspired to do project on health and wealth. Now 3 projects are still going on. I will surely sit and prepare my new resolution for 2023. Probably not completely new. I will carry on with my 3 projects.

About this 3 projects, only a few days ago just out of the blue a friend texted me “Hi sister, how are your projects going on?’ This is definitely not a frequently asked question, but the most wanted one. It really blew my mind.

Happy New Year, everyone!!!

Joy Of Missing Out

December this year looks different from December last year in 2021 and definitely different from one in 2020. At least what I see in my office. Some colleagues have started to prepare their family vacation during Christmas holiday and New Year. Some even had their early year end vacation last week. I think it is a good idea, because hotels are fully booked for new year and prices have gone very high.

December last year I went to Bali for a short escape with a friend. Though we were still shadowed by the Omicron variant but we decided to go to Bali. We went early December last years anticipating the crowd during Christmas and new year. Bali just started opening for tourist last year. Many hotels were not ready for receiving guests. I remembered we booked a very nice hotel, 4 star one in Ubud with a very good price, later we knew that not all the rooms were open for guests. Not fully booked last year. Today, no need to ask. I think most of the hotels are fully booked including ones in the city. Since staycation has become a choice nowadays for those who don’t want to travel.

December in 2020 was a completely different story. Noone was talking about having a holiday. Most of the hotels were closed. Many restrictions were applied everywhere. My colleagues and bosses got covid after a kick-off meeting. Some even needed hospitalization. Sadly a colleague left us forever only a few days after the new year. Covid was very scary in those days. It was still unknown.

Seeing the scenes, what people around me are trying to enjoy the holiday and also feeling the vibes make me feel so good inside. The moment is back!

Today was the last working day before Christmas in my office. Some colleagues even have taken their leaves starting today. In my room, there were only 3 of us, holiday vibe was felt. A colleague told me that she is going to take her kids to Komodo island. They plan to stay there for a week. Just listening to her, I was feeling excited.

I myself will not go anywhere. I am very far from ‘fomo’, while everybody is away, I would prefer to spend time with myself at home. I can do it for days and I enjoy it. Being in solitude is also a luxury. In fact I am more ‘jomo’, joy of missing out.

How to change your mindset

During the weekend, last week I joined a 3-day training. It was a long training. I thanked to my best friend who invited me to join this training.

Almost the whole training was about mindset, how to change the mindset and how deal with false beliefs. I think everyone of us has false belief of some areas of our lives. This false belief is also very often limiting us. It doesn’t liberate us. It sometimes even stops us from pursuing our dream.

We were given a handouts for our exercises. There are 72 common false beliefs in one of the exercises and we have to score ourselves on each one.

This training really taught me how to deal with my false beliefs. Easy to be said than done. It doesn’t mean that after the 3 day training all my false beliefs will fly away out of the window. No. It will never happen like that. It always takes some efforts and some times.

Do you find it easy to change your mindset? Have you ever been successful in this?

So what I have to do next is to really internalize it into me so the 3-day effort is not just forgotten easily and does not give me any impact. There has to be an impact on me, I said to myself. If possible a permanent one. And for this internalization, I have made a 100-day project. I go through and work on the 72 false beliefs. One false belief each day. I reflect and ask myself ‘Do you have this belief? What do you understand about this belief? How much has this belief influenced you? How to put it right? etc.’ I then put it in writing, in my journal book. I am still continuing my project now.

I look forward seeing a completely ‘different me’ in 100 days.

Financial Freedom

Financial Freedom. It sounds really cool. The definition of financial freedom is to have a lifestyle that you desire without having to work or rely on anyone else for money. It is so cool, isn’t it?

Your money works hard for you that all your expenses is covered by your passive income. You don’t need to worry about money. You may spend your whole day, whole week doing something you love. You are carefree.

How much money do you need for your financial freedom?

I remembered when I was in my early 30s, I often discussed with a friend on idea of early retirement. My friend kept saying it to me “Are we going to work like this till the rest of our lives? I think we need to have a courage to resign and do what we love.” The idea also sounded really cool.

By the way we did not work for the same company. She was working for a bank at that time. I am not sure what she was doing exactly. She was only in her late 20s. So she is younger than me. To follow the passion is cool. It definitely needs some preparation and calculation.

I didn’t know about financial freedom at that time. You need to make some preparation for your financial freedom. It takes some works, also some disciplines.

Looking back to that time and today with the financial crisis in front us, if I took the decision to retire early, it was going to be the decision I would regret. Taking a really big risk in life without thinking it really deeply.

How much money do you need to have your financial freedom? Eveybody would have a different amount. Freedom is more a feeling, something non-physical. When you have to put a number to something feeling-based, then it will be quite different from one person to another. And there is nothing wrong with any number someone puts. It very much depends on the readiness of the heart in each one.

What sounds cool is not always cool.

Don’t get caught up.

It is serious! If you have a problem in your life and it is really a very big problem, I tell you “Dont get caught up in that particular problem!”

And it means you should not only think that one problem day and night, for several days or weeks. No! It is not worth it.

If you are in a relationship with someone, I tell you the same “Don’t get caught up in that one relationship!”

Many people get caught up in their committed relationships.

You might be inspired by one particular person. You might like him or her so much. And it is OK to get inspired, it is good. You then decide to do something in your life, probably to make some changes. That inspiration might become a little push for you. And many times you might need it. But then realize, that’s enough. You have to carry on with your own life. You can not become dependent all the time to whoever give you inspiration or support. Don’t become his or her devotee. I observed this devotion feeling in a comitted relationship  and I found it ended up unhealthy for one party or even for both.

Company colors the soul. It is the right expression for this. You probably don’t want to get coloured by one company, you might want to have your own colour. For this, make sure that you are not caught up in one relationship.

If you find yourself caught up in one problem, get something to distract your attention. Get your mind distrancted. Read a book or go for a walk for example. It helps your mind refreshed. It doesn’t mean that you don’t try to solve it, not at all. Sometimes because the problem is so complicated, you can see its root cause really clearly and you can’t see any clear solution. You need to pause yourself for some times.

Your life is not only about one problem or one person you have a relationship with. Make your life as colorful as you want it to be. Make friends with as many people as possible. When you are making friends with them, become one who brings a positive influence. Become one who colors your companies.

Living with inspirations

When you need an inspiration, what do you ussually do? Or where do you go?

Do you need an inspiration in your day to day life or not?

Where do you go for an inspuration?

In my case,  I have several targets to achieve that definitely need some fresh inspirations. Firstly I have to give a public talk or workshop to serve community once a month. It is always a free topic. No one gives me a particular topic. This is a monthly target. Secondly  I have to write a weekly post for this blog. Thirdly I have to write at least four journals every morning. These are my personal targets.

The third one is very easy. This is about my daily reflection. It is based on my experience, observation, what I read or what I listen in a class. To achieve this target, I just need to make time in the morning and a solitude. That’s it! Ideas seem to freely flow. I do not experience any pressure doing this because basically I am just expressing what is in my head.

The first and second ones are not always easy. Sometimes I feel stuck. I need some inspirations. Sometimes I need a different atmosphere also.

Today I decided to go out for an inspiration. Today is a weekend. I carried my laptop and books in a tote bag (a shopping bag). When I was just getting ready, my neighbour who was happenly in his garage asked me “Where are you going?” Our houses are just across to each other.  “Just looking for an inspiration.” I replied, leaving him with a smile. He knows me and understands what I meant with that answer.

I went to the nearest Starbucks Coffee. Starbucks ussually does not fail for this purpose. When I got there, I saw some people were busy with their laptops. This coffee shop is located in separated building, sharing space with a marketing gallery for property. It is suitable for a working space during weekend. I spent three hours there. I found it was a quite productive weekend!

Happy weekend everyone!

Being faithful

If you love someone or something, you might become faithful to whom or what you love. To be faithful to someone means not to have somebody else in your heart. You are not thinking of someone else. You may share your life (time) with her or him. Then it is called to be faithful.

What about if you love something? You will use it, take care of it as frequently as possible, because you love it. You won’t keep it safe at home and not use it. To love something is to appreciate its best function and it is to utilize it as it is meant to be. It can be your bag, shoes, coat, watch, tumbler, pen or any other stuff that you use it everyday.

When you really love something, it is amazing that you won’t develop any feeling of boredom in using that stuff everyday.

I know one kid who loved his t-shirt with picture of a train on the front side of the t-shirt. He would only want to wear that t-shirt. Anyway that train was called Thomas in Thomas and Friends. It was a character on the cartoon movie he watched on TV. It sounds very funny. I was not sure what was in his mind about this character, which was a train, not an animal or a human being. Well kids have unlimited imagination sometimes.

I am not sure what was in his mind having this Thomas everyday.

I have my favourite Starbucks tumbler for my drink. I also use it everyday. It is designed for a hot and also cold drink. So, for me having just one tumbler is enough. I would always carry this tumbler to the office. I would feel something is missing when I forget to bring it. The reason is because I love it.

A colleague loves collecting tumblers. She has more than a dozen of tumblers in her collection. They are all Starbucks tumblers. Merchandise of starbucks. Every season they have new merchandise for sale. And my colleague would always buy one when she likes its design.

She loves those tumblers. She doesn’t use same tumbler all the time. Her love is for all the collections. Her love is devided. Although she has many, but she will only use one at one time. For her, to love is to keep it.

Jokingly I said to her “I think I am more faithful to one.”

Another colleague bought a special tumbler of BTS when they launched it as a merchandise. Probably a limited edition. She bought it and  kept it and never used it.

I just don’t understand why adults do not learn to love like a kid.

Three aspects of time

The three aspects of time – past, present and future.

This concept only applies in this physical world. It is only experienced when we are in our physical bodies. To say this, it means that we are not this bodies. We are the one who use this body, who entered this body. We are like a guest yo this body. There is a time when we come and a time when we go.

The 3 aspects of time merge into ‘now’.

We came to this physical world from the home of souls. We are souls. We are from the world beyond, it is called the soul world. In the soul world there is no three aspects of time. The three merge into one. There is no past, present nor future.

Your consciouness is not trapped in any of this aspect of time. It happens only when you are soul conscious. If you remain body conscious, you will remain trapped by one thing or another that is limited. You keep being pulled. Your attention is pulled. Your mind is pulled. Your awareness is pulled. Pulled and trapped.

Is it possible to becone free from this? Yes, it is possible. Develop soul consciouaness.

Do you like being pulled or being free?