No-Buy List

If you have to make a list of no-buy stuff this year what would be in your list?

Just before the year 2022 ended, I made a no-buy list for 2023. A quite long list. Almost 50 items in the list. These are all items I do not want to buy in 2023. I said to my self ‘I have it enough. I do not need anything extra’.

And it included footwear, shirt, jeans, bags, luggage, some cosmetic items and also utensils.

No buy challenge

This is what a minimalist advises to simplify life, to give your resources including time, energy and money only to what matters.

I told my friend about my list. It was like a commitment to myself. When I shared it to someone, I feel like I declared it.

Only a few days before new year, I and my friend went to a shopping mall. My friend wanted to buy sneakers. We went to two different shops and she bought 2 pairs of shoes from these shops. She took a while to choose the shoes for her. While she was giving a try some shoes, I was also giving a try to a new released one. It looked very pretty on my feet and super comfortable. I liked it.

An inner battle was happening whether I should buy that shoes or not. I knew it was a very tough battle. Because they were just new released, probably somebody would purchase that shoes very soon if I did not buy that shoes right away and next time I would not be able to find that same shoes again with my size.

I told myself that I have got 2 pairs already. One pair is actually running shoes and the other pair is the casual one and they were enough.

To be honest, I forgot my no-buy list at that time, until my friend reminded me about the promise I made with a reasoning ‘It has not been 2023 yet!’ She said. I won the battle that day. I kept telling my self that 2 pairs  were enough.

Another advice says if you are conflicting inside whether to purchase something or not, pause for a few days, think it again. If after a few days the urge is still very strong, you can go back to the shop and buy that item you like. You might need it. Very often I don’t want it anymore after a few days for thinking about it again. It works.

This last few weeks I have been thinking about buying footware that more water resistant and comfortable for traveling  during the wet weather.

The urge is getting stronger. And I know I still need this kind of footware. So I plan to break one promise.

My to do list

How do you manage your time? Time is one of our resources in our lives. A very important resource. Other resources would be health, wealth, talents, thoughts, network, relationship etc.

I am going to talk about time here. Time is life itself. To be living means to have time.

A big different between a successful person and unsuccessful one is on how they manage their time. There is a difference between these two.

Successful ones ussually manage their time well, because they value their time, their every second. They know how to use it in a worthwhile way. An important person ussually has a to-do list. It is actually a list of tasks to do. They schedule everything and make sure their priorities are carried out and no task is missed.

Why do we need to do the scheduling? Each one of us has tasks to do everyday, personally and professionally. Our time is limited. When we put them written we tend to do it well because we make time, put our attention and energy there. We keep our focus. We won’t miss it. The schedule will remind us to any task needs to be completed.

How do you make your daily schedule? Do you make it on a digital device? on your smartphone or laptop? This device is really smart, and it will remind you on timely basis with no fail if you are on screen most of the time. But for those who consider themselves need to reduce their screen time, it might not be the best way. The screen will pull your attention. It might become a distraction of your focus instead.

And I realized I am on this second category. I prefer to make my to-do list on my book. I write them down. I bought a very nice book for this. Its pages are blank, no lines and also no dates printed, so I can freely write anything, draw anything too. Ussually I write the list only for that particular day. I put some on a little sticky colored paper if the schedule is still a few days ahead or not yet fixed. Then I stick it on the following blank page.

Every time I put a sign to a completed task written, it gives me a feeling of an accomplishment. A very good feeling. This feeling gives me a direct impact on my life.

I said to a friend that this book was my self-reward for the new year. Probably you also do not need a fancy self-reward, but something that practically change your life though in a small amount.

Mount Abu

I think I have to be thankful to my colleagues. Deep down in our hearts we are supporting one another though superficially we sometimes look like Tom and Jerry to one another.

Our communication has been so open that anyone can say anything about any of us. No one should get hurt or probably ‘should learn not to get hurt’. We learn one another’s personalities without any judgement and learn to accept them. If we are full-time working probably we might spend our times with our colleagues more that with anyone else. So when your relationship with those who work with you should be enjoyable.

When I became a bit more reactive, some colleagues said to me “I think you need ‘namaste’. You have not gone to a retreat for several years.”

I have been practicing meditation and they call it ‘namaste’. They are very funny. They understand meditation helps, at least what they see in me. When I began to be a little bit reactive to a situation in the office, a colleague said “You have become like us. So you urgently need a ‘namaste’.” They were aware of me being different from them and they wanted me to stay different. It is intereating to know this.

They even asked me to get the nearest schedule for a retreat for me. They encourage me to go and I have planned to go to Mount Abu India.

My Capsule Wardrobe

How many pieces of clothes do you have in your wardrobe? Do you often have a problem in choosing what to wear every morning?  How long do you take to choose what to wear? Have you experienced choosing a wrong costume and how did you feel during that day?

If you are a female and you are a working person, you might relate to these questions. Probably not for a male.

To choose what to wear needs a decision making. I hated spending time in this. The more pieces of clothes you have, the more difficult for you to decide and more time you take. The less, the easier.

I heard an idea of a capsule wardrobe from a minimalist quite long time ago. But I did not really practise it. A capsule wardrobe means a mini wardrobe, very limited space to store the clothes. I made a list of clothes to wear for the whole week. It includes the tops, the buttom, the inner, the outers and also the dresses. The list also includes what to wear to the office, at home, for night clothes and also for going out during weekends. The list did not long. Less than 25 pieces! I made in my list what to wear for each day from Monday to Sunday.

Less clothes means less hustle!

Only those clothes in the list that I hang in my capsule wadrobe.
I decided to wear only those selected clothes for the next 100 days and I will see what I feel. It have been a month and I have managed myself wearing these clothes from my little wadrobe only. I will make a new list and change the clothes to wear for another  following 100 days when I complete it. It gives me a very nice feeling and also saves my time to get ready in the morning. I didn’t really care when a colleague noticed me wearing same costume every Tuesday. 😊

It can help me for a less morning hustle.

It happens also in deciding what to eat for lunch. I have noticed this in my colleagues. They toke a bit of time before they decide what to order for their lunch. Ussually they use the good delivery service. I have no issue with my lunch, cause  I always pack one from home.

A big project

I remembered how I had the idea of 100-day project. I was with some friends after doing a work together. Each one of us had our duty in that work. I was not quite happy with how I completed my duty. Some even critisized me and it led me feel a bit down. I was feeling so uncomfortable.

One of my friends said to me ‘You need a healing.’ I know he was not really seriously saying it to me but I took it seriously. Yes, I need a healing, I said to myself.

Any emotional discomfort sometimes has led me to process it and finish it.  Very often I could finish it through journaling. I ussually take only a few days to finish it and many times I also could finish very quickly. Journaling really helps in processing my feelings.

For this healing, I planned to make it in a project. It was a big one. A few days would not be enough to complete, so I made it in a 100 day project.

How did I work on this project?
I worked on it through reflection, meditation and also through journaling.

I told them (my friends) about this plan. Another friend asked me: ‘Why do you not make it in 21 days instead of 100 days?’

It is said that it takes 21 days to create a new habit or a change. She refered to this idea. I said to her ‘21 days won’t be enough. 100 days is more remarkable than 21 days’.

I religiously worked on this project on healing my heart for 100 days and it was completed a few weeks ago. I was feeling so happy.

The habit of working one thing for 100 days has imprinted in the my ‘internal system’. When this project was completed, I did not take time to make another 100 day project. Now I have 3 different projects for 3 different areas of life going on, spirituality, health and finance.

When I shared it to a friend about this 100-day project, he said ‘This is a big project.’ Not sure if he was saying this to me seriously or just to please me.

The hidden talent

I was so frustrated with my hairfall problem. It had created a mess on my pillow, bedsheet and also floor. Everytime I brush my hair, I had it stuck on the brush.

One evening after doing my exercise and I got my head and hair wet due to sweat and what I needed to do was to wash my hair. I dried my hair using a small sized towel. And suddenly I got an idea of cutting my hair. I never thought to cut my hair by myself before and I also have not even a bit of knowledge or theory of hair cutting. I took a scissor and cut it. It was very easy. I realized why if you go to a salon to get your hair cut, the hairdresser will wash it first and then do the cutting. It is very easy to cut it and perhaps also to style it.

I found out it was to short for the front part and not short enough for the back part. So I trimmed a little bit. My hair is bit weavy and curly at the end part, so it gives some volumes in styling. It turned out to be a completely new look. Someone said to me that it suits to my face shape. I felt good about it. And I didn’t think I need to go to the salon.

When I was in office the following day, everyone was supprissed to my new look. Noone knew that I have cut it by myself. During the first several days, noone expressed any disagrement to my new hairstyle. Till one morning, I had no time to wash my hair and rushed to the office. My hair looked a bit messy. For the whole morning my colleagues were so noisy talking about my hair. They bullied me. One of them asked me to go and find a professional hairdresser soon to fix my hair style. Most of the time I could manage myself to be relaxed while being bullied. Morever it was only about my hair style. Not something really serious.

I said to them ‘I think I have a hidden talent in hair cutting and haie styling. So let me just explore it for myself.’

We have been so open and sometimea also too honest to one another.

How to change your mindset

During the weekend, last week I joined a 3-day training. It was a long training. I thanked to my best friend who invited me to join this training.

Almost the whole training was about mindset, how to change the mindset and how deal with false beliefs. I think everyone of us has false belief of some areas of our lives. This false belief is also very often limiting us. It doesn’t liberate us. It sometimes even stops us from pursuing our dream.

We were given a handouts for our exercises. There are 72 common false beliefs in one of the exercises and we have to score ourselves on each one.

This training really taught me how to deal with my false beliefs. Easy to be said than done. It doesn’t mean that after the 3 day training all my false beliefs will fly away out of the window. No. It will never happen like that. It always takes some efforts and some times.

Do you find it easy to change your mindset? Have you ever been successful in this?

So what I have to do next is to really internalize it into me so the 3-day effort is not just forgotten easily and does not give me any impact. There has to be an impact on me, I said to myself. If possible a permanent one. And for this internalization, I have made a 100-day project. I go through and work on the 72 false beliefs. One false belief each day. I reflect and ask myself ‘Do you have this belief? What do you understand about this belief? How much has this belief influenced you? How to put it right? etc.’ I then put it in writing, in my journal book. I am still continuing my project now.

I look forward seeing a completely ‘different me’ in 100 days.

Financial Freedom

Financial Freedom. It sounds really cool. The definition of financial freedom is to have a lifestyle that you desire without having to work or rely on anyone else for money. It is so cool, isn’t it?

Your money works hard for you that all your expenses is covered by your passive income. You don’t need to worry about money. You may spend your whole day, whole week doing something you love. You are carefree.

How much money do you need for your financial freedom?

I remembered when I was in my early 30s, I often discussed with a friend on idea of early retirement. My friend kept saying it to me “Are we going to work like this till the rest of our lives? I think we need to have a courage to resign and do what we love.” The idea also sounded really cool.

By the way we did not work for the same company. She was working for a bank at that time. I am not sure what she was doing exactly. She was only in her late 20s. So she is younger than me. To follow the passion is cool. It definitely needs some preparation and calculation.

I didn’t know about financial freedom at that time. You need to make some preparation for your financial freedom. It takes some works, also some disciplines.

Looking back to that time and today with the financial crisis in front us, if I took the decision to retire early, it was going to be the decision I would regret. Taking a really big risk in life without thinking it really deeply.

How much money do you need to have your financial freedom? Eveybody would have a different amount. Freedom is more a feeling, something non-physical. When you have to put a number to something feeling-based, then it will be quite different from one person to another. And there is nothing wrong with any number someone puts. It very much depends on the readiness of the heart in each one.

What sounds cool is not always cool.

Feeling wealthy

Are you wealthy? What comes into your mind when you hear this word, wealth?

Only a few weeks ago, I had to talk about being wealthy and staying wealthy. I made a disclaimer that I am not wealthy in a sense of having a lot of wealth like properties, money, stocks, bonds, crypto etc. I still have a morgage to pay, car loan and also credit card to settle. So I don’t consider myself to be wealthy in this sense.

Am I feeling wealthy? I can quickly answer this question and my answer is ‘yes’. I know my feeling. Probably I am the best person in the world who know what is in my heart (my feeling). I think noone is better than me in this.

Feeling is generated by the heart. It is firstly generated in the mind in the form of thought. So to feel wealthy, actually you do not need anything from outside. You can create any thought you want, and your heart will follow. The heart will create the feeling accordingly. When the mind and the heart are not conflicting, they will work together. They seem to trust to each other.

The hardest task for each one of us is probably to make the head and the heart coherent or not conflicting. It is to make them trust each other. When it happens, then whatever thoughts you create, you will feel it accordingly.

Can you recall any moment when you try really hard in your head to convince yourself, yet your heart doesn’t get conviced? Or do you always find it vwry easy to convince yourself?

When your mind says ‘I am wealthy’, your heart quickly agrees and creates a feeling of having enough or fulfilled.

Don’t get caught up.

It is serious! If you have a problem in your life and it is really a very big problem, I tell you “Dont get caught up in that particular problem!”

And it means you should not only think that one problem day and night, for several days or weeks. No! It is not worth it.

If you are in a relationship with someone, I tell you the same “Don’t get caught up in that one relationship!”

Many people get caught up in their committed relationships.

You might be inspired by one particular person. You might like him or her so much. And it is OK to get inspired, it is good. You then decide to do something in your life, probably to make some changes. That inspiration might become a little push for you. And many times you might need it. But then realize, that’s enough. You have to carry on with your own life. You can not become dependent all the time to whoever give you inspiration or support. Don’t become his or her devotee. I observed this devotion feeling in a comitted relationship  and I found it ended up unhealthy for one party or even for both.

Company colors the soul. It is the right expression for this. You probably don’t want to get coloured by one company, you might want to have your own colour. For this, make sure that you are not caught up in one relationship.

If you find yourself caught up in one problem, get something to distract your attention. Get your mind distrancted. Read a book or go for a walk for example. It helps your mind refreshed. It doesn’t mean that you don’t try to solve it, not at all. Sometimes because the problem is so complicated, you can see its root cause really clearly and you can’t see any clear solution. You need to pause yourself for some times.

Your life is not only about one problem or one person you have a relationship with. Make your life as colorful as you want it to be. Make friends with as many people as possible. When you are making friends with them, become one who brings a positive influence. Become one who colors your companies.