Feeling wealthy

Are you wealthy? What comes into your mind when you hear this word, wealth?

Only a few weeks ago, I had to talk about being wealthy and staying wealthy. I made a disclaimer that I am not wealthy in a sense of having a lot of wealth like properties, money, stocks, bonds, crypto etc. I still have a morgage to pay, car loan and also credit card to settle. So I don’t consider myself to be wealthy in this sense.

Am I feeling wealthy? I can quickly answer this question and my answer is ‘yes’. I know my feeling. Probably I am the best person in the world who know what is in my heart (my feeling). I think noone is better than me in this.

Feeling is generated by the heart. It is firstly generated in the mind in the form of thought. So to feel wealthy, actually you do not need anything from outside. You can create any thought you want, and your heart will follow. The heart will create the feeling accordingly. When the mind and the heart are not conflicting, they will work together. They seem to trust to each other.

The hardest task for each one of us is probably to make the head and the heart coherent or not conflicting. It is to make them trust each other. When it happens, then whatever thoughts you create, you will feel it accordingly.

Can you recall any moment when you try really hard in your head to convince yourself, yet your heart doesn’t get conviced? Or do you always find it vwry easy to convince yourself?

When your mind says ‘I am wealthy’, your heart quickly agrees and creates a feeling of having enough or fulfilled.

Don’t get caught up.

It is serious! If you have a problem in your life and it is really a very big problem, I tell you “Dont get caught up in that particular problem!”

And it means you should not only think that one problem day and night, for several days or weeks. No! It is not worth it.

If you are in a relationship with someone, I tell you the same “Don’t get caught up in that one relationship!”

Many people get caught up in their committed relationships.

You might be inspired by one particular person. You might like him or her so much. And it is OK to get inspired, it is good. You then decide to do something in your life, probably to make some changes. That inspiration might become a little push for you. And many times you might need it. But then realize, that’s enough. You have to carry on with your own life. You can not become dependent all the time to whoever give you inspiration or support. Don’t become his or her devotee. I observed this devotion feeling in a comitted relationship  and I found it ended up unhealthy for one party or even for both.

Company colors the soul. It is the right expression for this. You probably don’t want to get coloured by one company, you might want to have your own colour. For this, make sure that you are not caught up in one relationship.

If you find yourself caught up in one problem, get something to distract your attention. Get your mind distrancted. Read a book or go for a walk for example. It helps your mind refreshed. It doesn’t mean that you don’t try to solve it, not at all. Sometimes because the problem is so complicated, you can see its root cause really clearly and you can’t see any clear solution. You need to pause yourself for some times.

Your life is not only about one problem or one person you have a relationship with. Make your life as colorful as you want it to be. Make friends with as many people as possible. When you are making friends with them, become one who brings a positive influence. Become one who colors your companies.

Living with inspirations

When you need an inspiration, what do you ussually do? Or where do you go?

Do you need an inspiration in your day to day life or not?

Where do you go for an inspuration?

In my case,  I have several targets to achieve that definitely need some fresh inspirations. Firstly I have to give a public talk or workshop to serve community once a month. It is always a free topic. No one gives me a particular topic. This is a monthly target. Secondly  I have to write a weekly post for this blog. Thirdly I have to write at least four journals every morning. These are my personal targets.

The third one is very easy. This is about my daily reflection. It is based on my experience, observation, what I read or what I listen in a class. To achieve this target, I just need to make time in the morning and a solitude. That’s it! Ideas seem to freely flow. I do not experience any pressure doing this because basically I am just expressing what is in my head.

The first and second ones are not always easy. Sometimes I feel stuck. I need some inspirations. Sometimes I need a different atmosphere also.

Today I decided to go out for an inspiration. Today is a weekend. I carried my laptop and books in a tote bag (a shopping bag). When I was just getting ready, my neighbour who was happenly in his garage asked me “Where are you going?” Our houses are just across to each other.  “Just looking for an inspiration.” I replied, leaving him with a smile. He knows me and understands what I meant with that answer.

I went to the nearest Starbucks Coffee. Starbucks ussually does not fail for this purpose. When I got there, I saw some people were busy with their laptops. This coffee shop is located in separated building, sharing space with a marketing gallery for property. It is suitable for a working space during weekend. I spent three hours there. I found it was a quite productive weekend!

Happy weekend everyone!

Being faithful

If you love someone or something, you might become faithful to whom or what you love. To be faithful to someone means not to have somebody else in your heart. You are not thinking of someone else. You may share your life (time) with her or him. Then it is called to be faithful.

What about if you love something? You will use it, take care of it as frequently as possible, because you love it. You won’t keep it safe at home and not use it. To love something is to appreciate its best function and it is to utilize it as it is meant to be. It can be your bag, shoes, coat, watch, tumbler, pen or any other stuff that you use it everyday.

When you really love something, it is amazing that you won’t develop any feeling of boredom in using that stuff everyday.

I know one kid who loved his t-shirt with picture of a train on the front side of the t-shirt. He would only want to wear that t-shirt. Anyway that train was called Thomas in Thomas and Friends. It was a character on the cartoon movie he watched on TV. It sounds very funny. I was not sure what was in his mind about this character, which was a train, not an animal or a human being. Well kids have unlimited imagination sometimes.

I am not sure what was in his mind having this Thomas everyday.

I have my favourite Starbucks tumbler for my drink. I also use it everyday. It is designed for a hot and also cold drink. So, for me having just one tumbler is enough. I would always carry this tumbler to the office. I would feel something is missing when I forget to bring it. The reason is because I love it.

A colleague loves collecting tumblers. She has more than a dozen of tumblers in her collection. They are all Starbucks tumblers. Merchandise of starbucks. Every season they have new merchandise for sale. And my colleague would always buy one when she likes its design.

She loves those tumblers. She doesn’t use same tumbler all the time. Her love is for all the collections. Her love is devided. Although she has many, but she will only use one at one time. For her, to love is to keep it.

Jokingly I said to her “I think I am more faithful to one.”

Another colleague bought a special tumbler of BTS when they launched it as a merchandise. Probably a limited edition. She bought it and  kept it and never used it.

I just don’t understand why adults do not learn to love like a kid.

A thousand years

Being a vegetarian for many years I have been asked by different people about the reason behind it many many times. My answers have been varied depending on who was asking and the situation. From a serious answer to a not serious one.

Not long ago I was in a tour group with new people for almost 10 days. Very often we sat on same table during our breakfast, lunch or dinner. And we talked. During this eating time ussually someone would ask me what I was eating on this diet. Usually different person because we sat randomly. And I gave a different answer too.

I remembered when someone asked me the same question, I replied “I want to live a thousand years.” It was a apontaneous answer, of course Everybody who was there laughing at me. To become a vegetarian means to take a lot of vegetable and fruits for daily intake. Fruits and vegetables are considered to be healthy food, containing high vibre, fresh, easy to be digested etc etc. If you are healthy then you are more likely having a long life span. Well, that is the simple logic.

Vegetable salad with olive dressing is my favourite menu during this trip.

He then said that if I live that long, I would be lonely because probably all my friends would have died.

But then someone said “Don’t worry, I will travel with you. I will become your travel buddy.”

Have you ever thought of having a long life span? What are you going to do with your life if you are given a long life span? Will you be feeling lonely?

If you have something to contribute to humanity or to people around you, you will experience your life so valuable. Your heart will be full and you won’t feel lonely. To feel lonely is to feel lacking of something in the heart. It is feel a bit empty in your heart. A lonely heart is an empty heart. It is by giving that your heart will become full.

Think of what you can contribute to people around you instead of what you can take from them. Be where you experience yourself having enough for yourself and for giving it to others, not be where you need to take.

Money Management

For some people discussing about money makes them feel uncomfortable. But these days I think people are more concerned about money management and many start to be open discussing it.

Financial problem may cause other problems in life, like relationship problem and problems in family. All the resources we have should be managed well. Including money.

Almost everyone have money, either from our income or from any family member who support us financially. We have some money to be managed.

Money in, money spent, money saved and invested.

In my opinion money management is very much on how we spend the money. It says ‘use everything you have in a worthwhile way.’ It means don’t spend it unnecessarily. Do not waste it. Be mindful in spending.

The question is then, how to become a mindful spender? What should we do with our money in our day-to-day ? What should we do before spending, when spending and after spending? What inspired actions should we take?

Before spending – make budgets. At least there are 4 categories based on financial purpose. Essential (for living), Optional (for shopping), Leisure (for playing) and for Saving.

We also need to be aware of the daily, weekly, monthly and also yearly expenses when we are budgeting.

When spending – spend according to the budget made. Make a proper record of every spending.

After spending – analyze your spending! Only if you record your spending, you can make an analysis. If you make a proper record, at the end you will know whether you are over budget or under budget. It gives you a good feeling about yourself, because you are being clear with yourself.

Only when it is recorded then an analysis can be made.

Each one of us is playing a role as a finance manager. We are responsible for every single spending we make. We are responsible for each penny we spend.

If you can do it, you will have a sense of being a responsible individual. It gives you sense of trust in yourself.

Number doesn’t lie

How much do you really care of your spending? Or how well do you manage your money?

One of the aspects in money management is how to manage your spending. Are you a good spender?

After a meeting with a long time friend who had been so long not seeing each other for the last couple of years, I had a thought to make a proper analysis on my spending. I have recorded almost all my spendings for the last few years. I never thought that I could have become so discipline in keeping this for this long. I made the record manually. Every single receipt of any payment was recorded on a book. I have made a quick analysis on monthly basis. I knew whether the total expense was increasing or not, how much I spent on month-to-month basis. I didn’t make any proper analysis. No wonder that my expense was increasing for the last few months.

I decided to put all the records into a worksheet in my laptop. I am using Microsoft Excel for this. It makes everything so easier. In any data analysis, the more datas and the more detailed and accurate, the better. It will then speak something. It tells you everything accurately and honestly. Number doesn’t lie.

An accurate graph will speak the truth.

It says…

One. My year-to-date expense on Starbucks in 2022 increased more than 300% than it was in 2021.

Two. I have spent on Starbucks almost as much as on gasoline.

Three. A cup of hot chocolate is much more expensive than a litre of gasoline.

With this simple analysis, I know what I need to do or change in my spending. Gasoline is more essential than hot chocolate drink. Moreover the price of gasoline has just increased. I have to become more mindful on spending on what is less essential.

It also tells me the accurate number on groceries, house maintenance, meals, communication, insurance, fashion, leisure etc.

You will become more confident when you have to make any financial decision. You will also become more committed to what you are going to do with your money when you have this data-based analysis with you.

When I shared my charts and tables of this analysis to a colleague who is working in Finance Division, she said that she was amazed that I could make it so consistent. She tried to make same record of her spending, but then she did not like the feeling like being suffocated every time she was going to make one. Then she did not continue doing it. Actually I heard this from some other colleagues too.

I think the hardest part is to make something into a routine, then into a habit. To start something is easy. To continue doing it is always not easy. It really takes a commitment.

My first trip

I just arrived from a trip to Turkey with a small group. It was my first oversea trip after 2 years. I joined the group with a friend.

We took a long flight, during night time. What do you do when you are on a long flight?

How do you enjoy a long flight?

My friend took a sleeping pill to help her sleeping during the flight. After settling down in the cabin, she started enjoying movies. I decided not to touch the screen in front of me. So I slept very easily and quickly. A quite good one. Only after enough sleep, I watched one movie. A drama movie. It was about a family, about a young daughter in the family, about how she digested the way the parents and also siblings relate to one another, the relationships, the conflicts and also her self.

When we just landed in Istanbul I asked my friend if she enjoyed the flight or not. She said that she couldn’t sleep, even after taking a sleeping pill. I asked her : “How many movies did you watch on the plane?”
She said : “Three movies”.

No wonder that she could not sleep. The movies are there for an entertainment. It is to entertain the mind. The mind will keep processing what you see on the screen and what you listen through the little earphone. The mind keeps busy. So it doesn’t rest. It doesn’t sleep.

It is in your hand to put the mind awake or asleep. Not in the pill.

A very heart-warming movie

Do you like watching movies? What movie genre do you like most? Have you gone to cinema recently?

I am not really a big fan of movies. I only watched a movie after a review from friends. If they said it was a good movie then I would consider to watch it. Unless I would not watch it. I am so fortunate that I have friends around me who love watching movies. Any kind of movie, including horror, documentary, detective, comedy and also drama.

Very recently a friend told me a movie she just watched in cinema. It was a drama movie. Drama of a family life. She said it was a good one. Other friends were also telling me the same. So I was so encouraged to watch that movie. I asked her if she would like to watch the same movie with me in the coming weekend. She said that she wanted to watch Minion 2 instead of watching the same movie again. So the deal was made. I would watch the movie and she would watch Minion 2 which was scheduled to be played half an hour earlier that the movie I was going to watch.

The movie was about conflict between a father and his three sons. The father held the belief and the tradition very strongly. He wanted to apply it to his children. He wanted her first son to marry a girl from the same clan only, because he has to carry the family name. He wanted his second son to become a judge, instead of a comedian. A comedian is not considered to be valued more than a judge in the society (in his village). And he expected the youngest son to come back and live with him. All the 3 sons have moved to Java island for their study. It was about father and son relationship that did not work well in the family.

The family was from North Sumatera. A simple family in a village in Samosir island in the middle of Toba lake. A very beautiful island. I have been there 6 years ago. So I could relate a bit, but not to the culture. Anyway it was a happy ending one. The conflict was resolved with the father’s open mind.

A friend said: “It was a very heart warming movie.”

I think I agree with her.

Temporary Beauty vs. Permanent Beauty

You might agree with me that cosmetic does an amazing thing, if not called a magic. It can change somebody’s appearance dramatically. Someone may look so beautiful having a make-up. Though someone may look so pretty with a make-up, she doesn’t want to have it for the whole time. When she arrives home or when she is going to bed, she will definitely clean her face from the cosmetic product she has applied on her face. A make-up remover is applied.

A friend asked me to buy a cosmetic product for her. It was a pencil for eyebrow. Dark brown colored. She also mentioned the brand in her message. I read her message very quickly and I replied OK.

I went to the nearest store, not a big store to get the stuff. I was so sure without asking the sales counter, I went to the cosmetic section. I knew what I wanted to buy. I looked at the whole section where different brands of cosmetic products displayed but I couldn’t find the pencil I wanted. Then I told the sales counter about it. She asked me the brand I was looking for. I said with so much confidence: “Vivo.”

She looked a bit confused and said: “There is no such brand for cosmetics. We have Viva, not Vivo.”

I became confused and to make sure I checked what my friend had written to me. It said Viva. Later I remembered that Vivo is a brand for electronic products.

Inner beauty is beauty from the heart.

You might also agree with me that make-up can only give a temporary beauty not a permanent one, an external beauty. While inner beauty is from the heart. You don’t need to apply any make-up to have inner beauty. What you need is a kind, gentle, strong and big heart. You can have it for the whole time. You don’t need any remover for this.