How to let go

How do you feel when someone knows what you feel, your real feeling? Do you feel uncomfortable? Do you feel afraid?  Or is it just quite alright with you?

I didn’t feel comfortable when others knew my feeling especially related to health issue (when I have a health issue). Many people very often become instant doctors and start giving you opinion about what you should do. They would relate stories related to the issue, ussually based on someone’s experience. They would ask many questions. The way they ask questions sometimes is so intimidating.

When we have health issue very often we need emotional support from them not informations, not stories, not advices. You don’t need all of these from them. You only need to listen to the doctor for what to do. Very often these people are making you nervous and worried, instead of making you relaxed and peaceful. Worries do not contribute anything good to a speedy recovery.

I remember about two years ago when I got covid, I only shared it to a very few people around me. My direct boss, a colleague, one family member, a neighbour and a doctor. I was in a quaranteen. I only communicated with them. Well, it is about a physical health issue.

I am quite open in sharing my feeling about other things. I ussually put it in my journal books or in this blog. When I write them in journals, I will write it as clear as possible and if I need to put someone’s name I will surely do it. Because I always believe this is a healthy way to let the feelings out from my heart. And this is how a healing can take place.

My journal books, where the healing takes place.

When I shared one of my healing journals to a friend very recently she wrote back to me : This is authentic. A healing in a brutal (raw) form.

Actually I was happy reading her feedback. This has confirmed me that being open in expressing the feeling out is better than keeping it inside.

She actually also likes journaling. Mostly she does it in her laptop. Encrypted. So nobody can read it. She said that she didn’t feel comfortable if others knew her feeling or her thoughts.

I don’t mind people know my feelings (most of the time), otherwise this blog would not be created. Even it someone whose name written in my journal, someone who has annoyed me or hurt me finally read it, I don’t mind at all. By the time she or he is reading it, the feeling would have finished. And I am ready to be so honest saying this : ‘This was my feeling about you at that particular time. I don’t have this feeling anymore’.

Any feeling ussually does not last long time. Some fades very quickly, unless you nurture it within you 🤭. If it makes you feel uncomfortable just let it go. To write it is to let it go.

Learn to forgive

A few weeks ago I gave a public talk on forgiveness. To be honest, this is the topic that I had avoided for so long. But I decided to take this topic to share to people. I decided to put the tittle ‘learn to forgive’ instead of ‘forgiveness’. To forgive is something I need to learn.

I heard from many people around me saying ‘God is forgiving. Why do we not forgive?’
I have the conviction that God never gets hurt. He doesn’t take sorrow from anyone’s behavior nor wrong doing in the first place. He doesn’t take time to forgive and also to forget it. His intellect is always accurate, He doesn’t keep any waste thoughts. His heart is always clean and pure. Nothing or no one can ever hurt Him. So He is definitely forgiving. But human beings are not God. We never become God. Our hearts easily get hurt probably because our hearts are so weak. We have lost so much power. We take a process to forgive, it means we take time. and it is OK, just keep taking the process. So we need to learn to forgive, and also forget.

My friend said that to forget someone’s mistake (probably also our own mistake) is the highest level of forgiveness. We need to do something to forgive, but I don’t think that we need to do something to forget. When you forget something happened in the past, you can not recall it anymore. It doesn’t exist anymore in your memory track. When the memory is too strong (probably also strongly hurt), usually the memory stays for a long time. And we can not forget it. If something reminds you of a situation that brings hurt, your emotion might get triggered. The whole story might come up on the screen of your mind. If you have got healed, the emotion won’t get triggered even if someone tries to remind you. You remember the situation, the memory is still there, but you no longer get triggered. I think it is also another level of forgiveness, before we forget it completely.

Now look at your heart. Ask your heart if you have completely forgiven everybody or you still learn to forgive. If you are still processing it, you still learn to forgive, you might need to forgive yourself first for this. Don’t put more burden on yourself by disliking yourself for still not being able to forgive others.

A forgiving heart

How long do you process your feeling?

A few weeks ago my car got hit. I was driving on my way back home from work. It was already dark. I was shocked when another  car hit my car from the back. It was then followed by uncomfortable feelings of sadness and anger inside. I blamed the guy who was driving that car. We were in argument for a few minutes. Then I went home with very uncomfortable feelings. How long do you usually process such feelings? To be honest it took me days or even weeks to process it.

This has become part of ‘me’.

It was my heart that was shocked, not my car. Why shocked? I had been developing the idea of owning that car, and this idea had become so strong. It became part of me. It became an attachment. A mental attachment, not a physical attachment.

This idea of owning that car has occupied my awarness or probably my heart also and it is how it becomes part of ‘me’. So whatever happens to that car, my heart creates the feelings accordingly, based on the awarness. It is like I let my feeling is controlled by what I posess (what I am attached to).

How did I process that uncomfortable feelings? I talked to myself to put my awareness right again. It is false to consider that car to be part of me. It took me a bit of time till everything became fine. That I and the car are different entities. Nothing can become part of me. If you want your car always safe, then don’t drive it. Keep it at home. But a car is meant to transport you for one place to another. It is meant to support you. To make your life easier. It is not meant to be kept in your car port. To get hit by another car is a risk. And you have mitigated the risk by having it insured. That is the way how it is.

Since then I see that car differently. As my transportation facility. Not more than that. I won’t allow any idea of owning it to become part of me. In this way, I set my mental free from being hurt.

30 Minutes Celebration, Free from Covid-19

I remember I had a thought of having a celebration when I got recovered. I call it ‘30 Minutes Celebration, free from Covid-19’. I shared this idea to a friend. In fact my body was so weak at that time. My friend might think that I had been feeling better. He said ‘It is a great idea. When you keep light and positive about it, it will inspire people.’ Actually I was not even going through my lowest point, my body was too weak and I still got high fever. Yet my mind was busy thinking and planning on the idea – the format of the celebration, what I wanted to share or say, who would be invited etc. Thinking of the celebration is having a positive thought. A positive thought gives power to the soul. This thought has made me focus on the recovery and not on the sickness. It must have contributed to my speedy recovery.

My virtual celebration

Since then I have a mission to encourage people to stay calm and stay courageous in dealing covid-19. Last Sunday I had my celebration on ZOOM. I invited my bosses, colleagues and friends for this. I was very happy that they could make it. I shared my experience in dealing with Covid-19 fearlessly, how I stayed happy and courageous. To my bosses, colleagues and friends, thank you for making time to join my celebration. You have supported me through your good wishes. I am so grateful to have you all.

My mission is to inspire people to be fearless.

One mission is accomplished.

Meditation for Healing the Heart

I make this time to revisit my heart, the spirit inside. It has been sitting there for such a long time. I have been very busy listening the noise of my ego in my head. I have been neglecting myself. I have started believing what my ego said to me and it has completely made my heart weak and broken.

Listen to your heart!

I make this time to sit with my true self, and listen. I open my heart. I feel very confortable.

It speaks very gently to me: “You are very special. You are loveable. You are here to share your love. Open your heart and express your love. Let the energy flow from the inside out”

It is so empowering and encouraging.

I can feel the energy of love fills my heart. I feel myself empowered.

Now I invite the Greatest Healer to fill my heart with His healing energy. I keep my heart open for His pure loving energy. His love is unconditional. His love is permanent and so uplifting. He has a very loving heart to everybody. I can trust Him. I have nothing to hide from Him. I let Him help me in this healing process. I keep His company with me.  

The feeling becomes stronger and stronger. This genuine love puts all the pieces of my heart together. It heals the wounds and the scars. My heart become whole again.

Dealing with your empty heart

Can a heart become empty? Sure. Have you experienced your heart empty? How did you feel it? You did not like it, did you?

An empty heart is constantly craving for love from people.

When my heart is empty, I will expect someone to fill it with love. I am craving for love constantly until my heart is full. Love is the energy that is needed by the heart. The energy to live. Noone can live without this energy. And when someone gives me love, because my heart is empty, I will become selfish with that love. All I can think is that ‘You are loving me. You are supporting me. You are caring for me.’ At the same time I am creating fear in my heart. Fear of losing the person who gives me love, the source of my love. When there is fear, love won’t exist. Because love exists in the absence of fear. Both can not exist at the same time.

If you want to free yourself from craving for love from people, what you need to do is to deal with your empty heart. Make it full with love. Do you know how to make your heart full? You heart has the capacity to generate love. So do it. Learn this skill to generate love from within and make your heart full with love till stop craving for love. You will stop expecting love from anyone. You won’t create a dependent love on someone. You will keep giving love instead and stop creating fear.