When I got covid-19 and just got tested, it said that my CT level was only 14. It was very low. The lowest among anyone I knew who got covid-19. I was introduced to start knowing some numbers. The body temperature, the pulse rate and also the oxygen saturation. All is indicated in numbers. I had an oxymeter to check the oxygen saturation and pulse with me. I heard from people the oxygen saturation tends to drop in covid patients. and when it drops to 90 or 85, one needs oxygen. The virus infects the lungs and quickly affect the respiratory system. Most of the covid patients experience shortness of breath, including me.
It should be checked regularly to know whether the patient need oxygen or not. Every time I checked my oxygen saturation that little monitor showed numbers, it kept changing from 99, 98, 97, 97,95, then 94. It takes a little bit of time to finally stop and show a number of oxygen saturation level. If you are the patient, that few seconds can make so panicked and restless. It was said that you need to be cautious if it goes down below 95. In such a situation, I decided not to check it again. I just didn’t want to know it anymore. Much later a friend who shared her story to me, taking care of four people in her family who got covid at the same time said that she became very stressful hearing the word oxygen saturation. The four people had to be hospitalized and all needed oxygen. The sad story was that one of them died, her brother in law.
The only thing that I kept with me is a thermometer. It was to check my body temperature. I needed to know if I still needed to take paracetamol or not. Covid-19 might not a simple disease. But I didn’t want to get myself complicated with those numbers and get stressed and worried. Worries would never help me. So I chose not to be worried.
When I had to stay in my self quarantine due to Covid-19 recently, as soon as I experienced something was not right with my body, I decided to disconnect myself from the world. And what it means to me is that I didn’t follow the news of what was happening out there. I did not allow it to enter my mind. I made my mind completely free from anything from external. I didn’t read any news nor watch any news. I kept telling myself that it was not the time to read or search for more information. The only information I needed at that time was how to deal with Covid-19. And I thought I was having enough of it with me. So I made myself focused on what was essential for me to do.
If something happened in the world and it was related to me or I had a responsibility in it, then I would surely know it very soon without me following the news of it. But if I didn’t know it or someone didn’t tell me, then I was so sure that it might not be related to me or I didn’t have any responsibility in it.
To be honest I was disconnected myself from ‘the world’ for a month. And I experienced my mind to be very clear through having very less thoughts. I listened to a class on zoom in the morning, it was my meditation class. So practically during the day I only had the thoughts of what taught in the morning class, which were positive and empowering ones.
What happened then with my mind? My mind became very clear in processing each thought. The decision I made was accurate. Practically I had no waste thoughts in my mind. When the number of thoughts is less, then they will become powerful and very clear. There is no clarity and thoughts are not powerful when you allow many thoughts occupy your mind.
So the practice of being disconnected from the world for a period of time is really really essential. I wish I can have this opportunity to do this again in the future, but of course without Covid-19. It is really a good practice for the mind and also for the heart. It empowers the soul.
When a colleague was being hospitalized due to Covid-19 in December last year, he told me that he didn’t like the meals provided by the hospital. I posted his story on A Solo Battle. So he decided to get his meals from outside through online order.
When I was in my self-quarantine at home, I didn’t have choices what to have for my meals. I only had in my stock one big package of oats, a box of raisin and a box of milk. I was not favourite for having breakfast with oats and raisin actually. But that was the only menu that I could have for breakfast. It is very easy and very quick to prapare. Only 3 minutes! My body was too weak to prepare my own meal longer than 3 minutes. So I had oats and raisin for my breakfast every single day. Since then I love this breakfast.
I had vegie soup for my lunch. I call it three-colors soup. Sweet corn, spinach and carrot. It looks fresh and super nice. I also had this menu every sibgle day. When I shared my soup photo to my colleague (I mention above) with a caption ‘I am very grateful with this soup’. He quickly responded ‘It must taste so good’. In fact I only put salt and pepper in it. It is just similar with hospital’s meal. It’s quite plain, not spicy at all.
The covid patients are always adviced to have sun rays, so I also did it. I sat just right in front of my front door to get the morning rays from the sun. It was really cool having my favourite drink, honey lemon tea. It is the hot one. It was just my mood booster.
I was really grateful with my simple meals during my self-quarantine.
When you are grateful, your heart is happy because you love what you have and you are not craving for something you don’t have.
When people get covid-19, they tend to be worried or panicked. In my case, I tried my best to stay calm. I understand the more I get worried, the worse my situation will become. And I will not be able to make a clear decision of what I need to do. So I choose to stay calm.
The question is then ‘How?’ I stopped reading and following the news of what was happening in the world, around me or the world out there. I didn’t want to know the news about covid-19 either. I thought if something happened in the world out there and I needed to know or it was related to me, then I would know it soon. But if I didn’t know it, it might not be related to me.
I stopped using almost all the social medias. Yes I still used my WhatsApps during that period, but only to communicate with some people whom I needed especially in dealing with Covid-19, or who needed me for a support or encouragement especially knowing some of my friends were also positive covid-19. We were then supporting one another. I don’t watch TV, since I don’t have one now.
In this way I could manage my mind to have very less thoughts. I only allowed positive and encouraging thoughts for myself and for others. And the thoughts were so powerful. The less thoughts you have, the more powerful they become.
Yesterday a friend who lives in Japan was telling me about the opening ceremony of the Tokyo Olympics. He said ‘Tokyo Olympics will be starting soon. Do you watch it?’ I smiled. I felt like I was reminded to the world sport event that is right now happening in Tokyo. So many people must have been waiting for this event.
It has always been very CLEAR with me that this virus only infects the body, not the soul. The soul remains safe and courageous. I kept telling myself and everyone ‘I know this soul is very strong.’
I think this thought helped me a lot in dealing with the virus. My friend said that this is the power of thought.
I took the medicine and vitamins that prescribed by a doctor. I had my covid vaccine. I heard from many people that after having vaccinated someone may still get infected but with mild symptoms, like me. This also helped me in my recovery.
I could maintain a state of having no complaint, about my situation nor the virus. I always communicated to the virus with love ‘Virus, you may stay here but I need to make this body strong. You will be more comfortable when this body is strong.’ In this way, I only allowed love fill my heart, including love for the virus. When there is love, there is no fear. In this way I remained fearless.
Actually people are not afraid of covid-19 but death. Because rarely people have prepared for their death.
I have one mission now, to inspire as many people as possible not to be afraid of covid-19 and stay courageous.
Everyone might have experienced their hearts broken. Everyone’s heart has become so fragile and weak. This is not our physical heart, but our non-physical heart. How to fix this broken heart? In fact the heart is you yourself, the one who says ‘my heart is broken’. It is the living spirit who resides in your physical body. It is the spirit who use the body. The body is like a vehicle for the spirit. You can not touch it, but you can feel it so real. because it is you, how can you not feel it so real? This spirit has broken into pieces. How to fix this spirit then? or in other words, how to fix you?
Only you have the access into it. Only you can open it. Only you can bring all the pieces together again and make it whole again. Embrace all the pieces and start the healing. Take the healing energy from the Greatest Healer. Open your heart and let Him heal you. Let Him fill your heart with His purest healing power.
Let there be only you and Him in this healing process. Only you and the Greatest Healer.
We need energy to live. Energy is created, energy is used and it is replenished. Each one of us has the capacity to do this everyday. It has to do with how we are using our body and soul during the day. Most activities we have during the day is using our energy. You might feel very exhausted in the evening after having a very busy day. Your energy gets drained. You need to rest or sleep, because it is how you will take your energy back, your physical energy.
There are four dimensions of energy : 1. Physical (the body) : sleep, nutrition, day time rest, exercise 2. Emotional : happy positive and uplifting emotional state 3. Mental : focusing on one thing and one thing only 4. Spiritual (meaning or purpose) : this is the why you are doing what you are doing
How will you replenish your emotional, mental and spiritual energies?
Listen to the noise in your head. There is a constant noise, or there is no noise at all? Can you silence your mind? Many people said it is very difficult to silence their minds. The mind is constantly busy. Thinking. It creates noise inside your head. But who is speaking? There are two personalities in your head – the false personality and the true personality. The false personality is called the ego and the true personality is called the conscience. They speak different languages to you. It is the ego that speaks more and creates noise. When the ego is speaking too much, you become restless. The ego brings confusion and doubt into your head. You need clarity. Clarity is found in a silent mind.
You might need to learn to make the ego become more quiet, if you want to experience a silent mind. It is only when there is silence in the mind then the voice of the conscience is heard. The conscience is your inner guide. Let your conscience guide you. Listen to your inner guide. It finishes confusion and doubt. It brings clarity into your head.
You are your best friend and also your worst enemy.
There are two personalities inside us. The true ’I’ and the false ’I’. They are two different personalities. They are not silent. They keep speaking. Do you hear them speaking? The false ’I’ speaks louder than the true ’I’. You can easily hear it. It creates noise in your head. It speaks worries, uncertainties and doubts. The false ‘I’ creates fear and peacelessness. If you do not control it, it will create chaos in your mind. So you need to control it and make it quiet.
The true ’I’ speaks very gently and softly. Sometimes it is almost unheard. It speaks wisdom and truth. It creates calmness in your mind. If you want to experience peace of mind, you need to listen to the true ‘I’ more often. This is the first step to a peace of mind.
So which one is your best friend and which one is your worst enemy?