When you have to make an important decision, do you always need someone’s opinion?
A friend of mine planned to buy a new car. Buying a car for many people is considered as an investment. It needs quite a lot of money. She is an unmarried woman. Being unmarried means having no partner to discuss with and in her situation is on automotive updates. She said to me “If I have a husband, at least I have someone who can give me a view of what car I should buy.” She needed someone to discuss with.
Probably this is one of downsides of being a single. Of course it is not always the case.
I remembered a colleague when she was going to take her car ownership program for her, she discussed it with her husband who happenedly worked for Toyota for many years. He was very much exposed to technology updates in automotive. He gave her his opinion on this and probably too much for her. They ended up with a conflict. The husband was very strong with his suggestion while my colleague wanted him to give her a bit of freedom to decide.
It is very interesting how two people have a completely different perspective for the same situation, for buying a car. Both are female. This automotive world might belong to males more than females.
I remembered my own situation a few years ago. Actually I knew what to buy, a brand with road assisstant services. This was my number one criteria for choosing a brand for a car. As a female driver, I am aware that I need this assistance in case of an emergency. Just out of curiosity, I went to a show room of another brand. I had a test-drive there. It was a good experience driving that car, very comfortable. A test drive can really give an experience for the driver. And it can change someone’s mind. And I changed my mind. I made a very quick decision to choose that brand. I did not need anyone to discuss with. I followed my feeling. I even compromised to the criteria I have put earlier.
When you go to someone’s event or your friend’s like a wedding, birthday party or any other event probably they give you a gift or souvenir. This souvenir is a token for you.
Many people are so creative with interesting ideas for souvenir and gift. I remembered long time ago a friend who had her wedding party gave a souvenir for each guest a little fruit plant. I think it was a brilliant idea. It gave people idea to plant a tree. It encouraged people to take care of the environment.
But most of the time, people do not really care when they give souvenirs for their programs. Many many times I brought home a mug or a glass, a folding cloth bag, folding fan, lunch box and many more.
When you get these souvenirs what do you do then with those stuff? Do you use it? Do you keep it and collect it? Do you give it to someone else? Do you donate it? Or do you throw it away?
Rarely I got a souvenir that I really need it. To be honest I would be happy if I get a souvenir or a gift something I really need. It doesn’t have to be fancy. I do not care whether it is just a simple stuff or something very cheap.
I remembered a few years ago we had a gift exchange in the office. Each one had to write a gift she wanted to have and also write their names in a little folding paper. Those who got that little folding paper should prepare the gift as written inside. I wrote a little knife for cutting fruit. My colleague happily gave me that gift. I was so thankful to her. Another time I wrote to have a gift of pen refill. I also remembered a colleague wrote to have a gift for her a baby turtle. It sounds unussual, anti-mainstream. Luckily I didn’t get her request. 😊
I hate collecting souvenirs. They just clutter my space.
I think I have to be thankful to my colleagues. Deep down in our hearts we are supporting one another though superficially we sometimes look like Tom and Jerry to one another.
Our communication has been so open that anyone can say anything about any of us. No one should get hurt or probably ‘should learn not to get hurt’. We learn one another’s personalities without any judgement and learn to accept them. If we are full-time working probably we might spend our times with our colleagues more that with anyone else. So when your relationship with those who work with you should be enjoyable.
When I became a bit more reactive, some colleagues said to me “I think you need ‘namaste’. You have not gone to a retreat for several years.”
I have been practicing meditation and they call it ‘namaste’. They are very funny. They understand meditation helps, at least what they see in me. When I began to be a little bit reactive to a situation in the office, a colleague said “You have become like us. So you urgently need a ‘namaste’.” They were aware of me being different from them and they wanted me to stay different. It is intereating to know this.
They even asked me to get the nearest schedule for a retreat for me. They encourage me to go and I have planned to go to Mount Abu India.
December this year looks different from December last year in 2021 and definitely different from one in 2020. At least what I see in my office. Some colleagues have started to prepare their family vacation during Christmas holiday and New Year. Some even had their early year end vacation last week. I think it is a good idea, because hotels are fully booked for new year and prices have gone very high.
December last year I went to Bali for a short escape with a friend. Though we were still shadowed by the Omicron variant but we decided to go to Bali. We went early December last years anticipating the crowd during Christmas and new year. Bali just started opening for tourist last year. Many hotels were not ready for receiving guests. I remembered we booked a very nice hotel, 4 star one in Ubud with a very good price, later we knew that not all the rooms were open for guests. Not fully booked last year. Today, no need to ask. I think most of the hotels are fully booked including ones in the city. Since staycation has become a choice nowadays for those who don’t want to travel.
December in 2020 was a completely different story. Noone was talking about having a holiday. Most of the hotels were closed. Many restrictions were applied everywhere. My colleagues and bosses got covid after a kick-off meeting. Some even needed hospitalization. Sadly a colleague left us forever only a few days after the new year. Covid was very scary in those days. It was still unknown.
Seeing the scenes, what people around me are trying to enjoy the holiday and also feeling the vibes make me feel so good inside. The moment is back!
Today was the last working day before Christmas in my office. Some colleagues even have taken their leaves starting today. In my room, there were only 3 of us, holiday vibe was felt. A colleague told me that she is going to take her kids to Komodo island. They plan to stay there for a week. Just listening to her, I was feeling excited.
I myself will not go anywhere. I am very far from ‘fomo’, while everybody is away, I would prefer to spend time with myself at home. I can do it for days and I enjoy it. Being in solitude is also a luxury. In fact I am more ‘jomo’, joy of missing out.
How many pieces of clothes do you have in your wardrobe? Do you often have a problem in choosing what to wear every morning? How long do you take to choose what to wear? Have you experienced choosing a wrong costume and how did you feel during that day?
If you are a female and you are a working person, you might relate to these questions. Probably not for a male.
To choose what to wear needs a decision making. I hated spending time in this. The more pieces of clothes you have, the more difficult for you to decide and more time you take. The less, the easier.
I heard an idea of a capsule wardrobe from a minimalist quite long time ago. But I did not really practise it. A capsule wardrobe means a mini wardrobe, very limited space to store the clothes. I made a list of clothes to wear for the whole week. It includes the tops, the buttom, the inner, the outers and also the dresses. The list also includes what to wear to the office, at home, for night clothes and also for going out during weekends. The list did not long. Less than 25 pieces! I made in my list what to wear for each day from Monday to Sunday.
Only those clothes in the list that I hang in my capsule wadrobe. I decided to wear only those selected clothes for the next 100 days and I will see what I feel. It have been a month and I have managed myself wearing these clothes from my little wadrobe only. I will make a new list and change the clothes to wear for another following 100 days when I complete it. It gives me a very nice feeling and also saves my time to get ready in the morning. I didn’t really care when a colleague noticed me wearing same costume every Tuesday. 😊
It can help me for a less morning hustle.
It happens also in deciding what to eat for lunch. I have noticed this in my colleagues. They toke a bit of time before they decide what to order for their lunch. Ussually they use the good delivery service. I have no issue with my lunch, cause I always pack one from home.
I remembered how I had the idea of 100-day project. I was with some friends after doing a work together. Each one of us had our duty in that work. I was not quite happy with how I completed my duty. Some even critisized me and it led me feel a bit down. I was feeling so uncomfortable.
One of my friends said to me ‘You need a healing.’ I know he was not really seriously saying it to me but I took it seriously. Yes, I need a healing, I said to myself.
Any emotional discomfort sometimes has led me to process it and finish it. Very often I could finish it through journaling. I ussually take only a few days to finish it and many times I also could finish very quickly. Journaling really helps in processing my feelings.
For this healing, I planned to make it in a project. It was a big one. A few days would not be enough to complete, so I made it in a 100 day project.
How did I work on this project? I worked on it through reflection, meditation and also through journaling.
I told them (my friends) about this plan. Another friend asked me: ‘Why do you not make it in 21 days instead of 100 days?’
It is said that it takes 21 days to create a new habit or a change. She refered to this idea. I said to her ‘21 days won’t be enough. 100 days is more remarkable than 21 days’.
I religiously worked on this project on healing my heart for 100 days and it was completed a few weeks ago. I was feeling so happy.
The habit of working one thing for 100 days has imprinted in the my ‘internal system’. When this project was completed, I did not take time to make another 100 day project. Now I have 3 different projects for 3 different areas of life going on, spirituality, health and finance.
When I shared it to a friend about this 100-day project, he said ‘This is a big project.’ Not sure if he was saying this to me seriously or just to please me.
Financial Freedom. It sounds really cool. The definition of financial freedom is to have a lifestyle that you desire without having to work or rely on anyone else for money. It is so cool, isn’t it?
Your money works hard for you that all your expenses is covered by your passive income. You don’t need to worry about money. You may spend your whole day, whole week doing something you love. You are carefree.
I remembered when I was in my early 30s, I often discussed with a friend on idea of early retirement. My friend kept saying it to me “Are we going to work like this till the rest of our lives? I think we need to have a courage to resign and do what we love.” The idea also sounded really cool.
By the way we did not work for the same company. She was working for a bank at that time. I am not sure what she was doing exactly. She was only in her late 20s. So she is younger than me. To follow the passion is cool. It definitely needs some preparation and calculation.
I didn’t know about financial freedom at that time. You need to make some preparation for your financial freedom. It takes some works, also some disciplines.
Looking back to that time and today with the financial crisis in front us, if I took the decision to retire early, it was going to be the decision I would regret. Taking a really big risk in life without thinking it really deeply.
How much money do you need to have your financial freedom? Eveybody would have a different amount. Freedom is more a feeling, something non-physical. When you have to put a number to something feeling-based, then it will be quite different from one person to another. And there is nothing wrong with any number someone puts. It very much depends on the readiness of the heart in each one.
Are you wealthy? What comes into your mind when you hear this word, wealth?
Only a few weeks ago, I had to talk about being wealthy and staying wealthy. I made a disclaimer that I am not wealthy in a sense of having a lot of wealth like properties, money, stocks, bonds, crypto etc. I still have a morgage to pay, car loan and also credit card to settle. So I don’t consider myself to be wealthy in this sense.
Am I feeling wealthy? I can quickly answer this question and my answer is ‘yes’. I know my feeling. Probably I am the best person in the world who know what is in my heart (my feeling). I think noone is better than me in this.
Feeling is generated by the heart. It is firstly generated in the mind in the form of thought. So to feel wealthy, actually you do not need anything from outside. You can create any thought you want, and your heart will follow. The heart will create the feeling accordingly. When the mind and the heart are not conflicting, they will work together. They seem to trust to each other.
The hardest task for each one of us is probably to make the head and the heart coherent or not conflicting. It is to make them trust each other. When it happens, then whatever thoughts you create, you will feel it accordingly.
Can you recall any moment when you try really hard in your head to convince yourself, yet your heart doesn’t get conviced? Or do you always find it vwry easy to convince yourself?
When your mind says ‘I am wealthy’, your heart quickly agrees and creates a feeling of having enough or fulfilled.
It is serious! If you have a problem in your life and it is really a very big problem, I tell you “Dont get caught up in that particular problem!”
And it means you should not only think that one problem day and night, for several days or weeks. No! It is not worth it.
If you are in a relationship with someone, I tell you the same “Don’t get caught up in that one relationship!”
You might be inspired by one particular person. You might like him or her so much. And it is OK to get inspired, it is good. You then decide to do something in your life, probably to make some changes. That inspiration might become a little push for you. And many times you might need it. But then realize, that’s enough. You have to carry on with your own life. You can not become dependent all the time to whoever give you inspiration or support. Don’t become his or her devotee. I observed this devotion feeling in a comitted relationship and I found it ended up unhealthy for one party or even for both.
Company colors the soul. It is the right expression for this. You probably don’t want to get coloured by one company, you might want to have your own colour. For this, make sure that you are not caught up in one relationship.
If you find yourself caught up in one problem, get something to distract your attention. Get your mind distrancted. Read a book or go for a walk for example. It helps your mind refreshed. It doesn’t mean that you don’t try to solve it, not at all. Sometimes because the problem is so complicated, you can see its root cause really clearly and you can’t see any clear solution. You need to pause yourself for some times.
Your life is not only about one problem or one person you have a relationship with. Make your life as colorful as you want it to be. Make friends with as many people as possible. When you are making friends with them, become one who brings a positive influence. Become one who colors your companies.
When you need an inspiration, what do you ussually do? Or where do you go?
Do you need an inspiration in your day to day life or not?
In my case, I have several targets to achieve that definitely need some fresh inspirations. Firstly I have to give a public talk or workshop to serve community once a month. It is always a free topic. No one gives me a particular topic. This is a monthly target. Secondly I have to write a weekly post for this blog. Thirdly I have to write at least four journals every morning. These are my personal targets.
The third one is very easy. This is about my daily reflection. It is based on my experience, observation, what I read or what I listen in a class. To achieve this target, I just need to make time in the morning and a solitude. That’s it! Ideas seem to freely flow. I do not experience any pressure doing this because basically I am just expressing what is in my head.
The first and second ones are not always easy. Sometimes I feel stuck. I need some inspirations. Sometimes I need a different atmosphere also.
Today I decided to go out for an inspiration. Today is a weekend. I carried my laptop and books in a tote bag (a shopping bag). When I was just getting ready, my neighbour who was happenly in his garage asked me “Where are you going?” Our houses are just across to each other. “Just looking for an inspiration.” I replied, leaving him with a smile. He knows me and understands what I meant with that answer.
I went to the nearest Starbucks Coffee. Starbucks ussually does not fail for this purpose. When I got there, I saw some people were busy with their laptops. This coffee shop is located in separated building, sharing space with a marketing gallery for property. It is suitable for a working space during weekend. I spent three hours there. I found it was a quite productive weekend!