Valentine’s Day

February is special,  known as the month of love. It has Valentine’s day in it. Every 14th of February people celebrate Valentine’s day. Love is the breath in life. It is the oxygent. It is needed by each and every living being. I cannot imagine how life would be without love.

I don’t remember exactly when I knew that February 14th is Valentine’s day and who is Valentine and the story behind it. It is not in our culture here to celebrate Valentine’s day. Especially many many years ago when internet and social media were something not popular. When people were living with news papers, radio and television.

I remember a friend was telling me a sweet story of her with her daddy when she was still a young teenaged girl. She is the only daughter in the family, very much loved by her parents. She lived in a small town in North Sumatera called Tarutung, not far from Toba lake.

Say it with chocolate!

I don’t know exactly what happened in her school that day on the Valentine’s day. But when she arrived home she excitedly told her dad that it was Valentine’s day. In those days Valentine’s day was only popular among young people. So he asked his young daughter ‘What is Valentine’s day?’

I guess it was the first time he heard it. And my friend explained that valentine day is when a boy gives chocolate to a girl. A quite simple definition from a young teenaged girl.

In the evening her dad brought home chocolate for her. I can imagine how these two people expressed their love to each other in that moment. My friend was ofcourse surprised. So lovely and so sweet.

When do you follow your feeling?

When you have to make an important decision, do you always need someone’s opinion?

A friend of mine planned to buy a new car. Buying a car for many people is considered as an investment. It needs quite a lot of money. She is an unmarried woman. Being unmarried means having no partner to discuss with and in her situation is on automotive updates. She said to me “If I have a husband, at least I have someone who can give me a view of what car I should buy.” She needed someone to discuss with.

Probably this is one of downsides of being a single. Of course it is not always the case.

I remembered a colleague when she was going to take her car ownership program for her, she discussed it with her husband who happenedly worked for Toyota for many years. He was very much exposed to technology updates in automotive. He gave her his opinion on this and probably too much for her. They ended up with a conflict. The husband was very strong with his suggestion while my colleague wanted him to give her a bit of freedom to decide.

It is very interesting how two people have a completely different perspective for the same situation, for buying a car. Both are female. This automotive world might belong to males more than females.

Is automotive world more for males?

I remembered my own situation a few years ago. Actually I knew what to buy, a brand with road assisstant services. This was my number one criteria for choosing a brand for a car. As a female driver, I am aware that I need this assistance in case of an emergency. Just out of curiosity, I went to a show room of another brand. I had a test-drive there. It was a good experience driving that car, very comfortable. A test drive can really give an experience for the driver. And it can change someone’s mind. And I changed my mind. I made a very quick decision to choose that brand. I did not need anyone to discuss with. I followed my feeling. I even compromised to the criteria I have put earlier.

A Gift Exchange

When you go to someone’s event or your friend’s like a wedding, birthday party or any other event probably they give you a gift or souvenir. This souvenir is a token for you.

Many people are so creative with interesting ideas for souvenir and gift. I remembered long time ago a friend who had her wedding party gave a souvenir for each guest a little fruit plant. I think it was a brilliant idea. It gave people idea to plant a tree. It encouraged people to take care of the environment.

But most of the time, people do not really care when they give souvenirs for their programs. Many many times I brought home a mug or a glass, a folding cloth bag, folding fan, lunch box and many more.

When you get these souvenirs what do you do then with those stuff? Do you use it? Do you keep it and collect it? Do you give it to someone else? Do you donate it? Or do you throw it away?

A gift exhange

Rarely I got a souvenir that I really need it. To be honest I would be happy if I get a souvenir or a gift something I really need. It doesn’t have to be fancy. I do not care whether it is just a simple stuff or something very cheap.

I remembered a few years ago we had a gift exchange in the office. Each one had to write a gift she wanted to have and also write their names in a little folding paper. Those who got that little folding paper should prepare the gift as written inside. I wrote a little knife for cutting fruit. My colleague happily gave me that gift. I was so thankful to her. Another time I wrote to have a gift of pen refill. I also remembered a colleague wrote to have a gift for her a baby turtle. It sounds unussual, anti-mainstream. Luckily I didn’t get her request. 😊

The gifts from each one for our gift exchange recently.

I hate collecting souvenirs. They just clutter my space.

My Capsule Wardrobe

How many pieces of clothes do you have in your wardrobe? Do you often have a problem in choosing what to wear every morning?  How long do you take to choose what to wear? Have you experienced choosing a wrong costume and how did you feel during that day?

If you are a female and you are a working person, you might relate to these questions. Probably not for a male.

To choose what to wear needs a decision making. I hated spending time in this. The more pieces of clothes you have, the more difficult for you to decide and more time you take. The less, the easier.

I heard an idea of a capsule wardrobe from a minimalist quite long time ago. But I did not really practise it. A capsule wardrobe means a mini wardrobe, very limited space to store the clothes. I made a list of clothes to wear for the whole week. It includes the tops, the buttom, the inner, the outers and also the dresses. The list also includes what to wear to the office, at home, for night clothes and also for going out during weekends. The list did not long. Less than 25 pieces! I made in my list what to wear for each day from Monday to Sunday.

Less clothes means less hustle!

Only those clothes in the list that I hang in my capsule wadrobe.
I decided to wear only those selected clothes for the next 100 days and I will see what I feel. It have been a month and I have managed myself wearing these clothes from my little wadrobe only. I will make a new list and change the clothes to wear for another  following 100 days when I complete it. It gives me a very nice feeling and also saves my time to get ready in the morning. I didn’t really care when a colleague noticed me wearing same costume every Tuesday. 😊

It can help me for a less morning hustle.

It happens also in deciding what to eat for lunch. I have noticed this in my colleagues. They toke a bit of time before they decide what to order for their lunch. Ussually they use the good delivery service. I have no issue with my lunch, cause  I always pack one from home.

A big project

I remembered how I had the idea of 100-day project. I was with some friends after doing a work together. Each one of us had our duty in that work. I was not quite happy with how I completed my duty. Some even critisized me and it led me feel a bit down. I was feeling so uncomfortable.

One of my friends said to me ‘You need a healing.’ I know he was not really seriously saying it to me but I took it seriously. Yes, I need a healing, I said to myself.

Any emotional discomfort sometimes has led me to process it and finish it.  Very often I could finish it through journaling. I ussually take only a few days to finish it and many times I also could finish very quickly. Journaling really helps in processing my feelings.

For this healing, I planned to make it in a project. It was a big one. A few days would not be enough to complete, so I made it in a 100 day project.

How did I work on this project?
I worked on it through reflection, meditation and also through journaling.

I told them (my friends) about this plan. Another friend asked me: ‘Why do you not make it in 21 days instead of 100 days?’

It is said that it takes 21 days to create a new habit or a change. She refered to this idea. I said to her ‘21 days won’t be enough. 100 days is more remarkable than 21 days’.

I religiously worked on this project on healing my heart for 100 days and it was completed a few weeks ago. I was feeling so happy.

The habit of working one thing for 100 days has imprinted in the my ‘internal system’. When this project was completed, I did not take time to make another 100 day project. Now I have 3 different projects for 3 different areas of life going on, spirituality, health and finance.

When I shared it to a friend about this 100-day project, he said ‘This is a big project.’ Not sure if he was saying this to me seriously or just to please me.

How to change your mindset

During the weekend, last week I joined a 3-day training. It was a long training. I thanked to my best friend who invited me to join this training.

Almost the whole training was about mindset, how to change the mindset and how deal with false beliefs. I think everyone of us has false belief of some areas of our lives. This false belief is also very often limiting us. It doesn’t liberate us. It sometimes even stops us from pursuing our dream.

We were given a handouts for our exercises. There are 72 common false beliefs in one of the exercises and we have to score ourselves on each one.

This training really taught me how to deal with my false beliefs. Easy to be said than done. It doesn’t mean that after the 3 day training all my false beliefs will fly away out of the window. No. It will never happen like that. It always takes some efforts and some times.

Do you find it easy to change your mindset? Have you ever been successful in this?

So what I have to do next is to really internalize it into me so the 3-day effort is not just forgotten easily and does not give me any impact. There has to be an impact on me, I said to myself. If possible a permanent one. And for this internalization, I have made a 100-day project. I go through and work on the 72 false beliefs. One false belief each day. I reflect and ask myself ‘Do you have this belief? What do you understand about this belief? How much has this belief influenced you? How to put it right? etc.’ I then put it in writing, in my journal book. I am still continuing my project now.

I look forward seeing a completely ‘different me’ in 100 days.

Don’t get caught up.

It is serious! If you have a problem in your life and it is really a very big problem, I tell you “Dont get caught up in that particular problem!”

And it means you should not only think that one problem day and night, for several days or weeks. No! It is not worth it.

If you are in a relationship with someone, I tell you the same “Don’t get caught up in that one relationship!”

Many people get caught up in their committed relationships.

You might be inspired by one particular person. You might like him or her so much. And it is OK to get inspired, it is good. You then decide to do something in your life, probably to make some changes. That inspiration might become a little push for you. And many times you might need it. But then realize, that’s enough. You have to carry on with your own life. You can not become dependent all the time to whoever give you inspiration or support. Don’t become his or her devotee. I observed this devotion feeling in a comitted relationship  and I found it ended up unhealthy for one party or even for both.

Company colors the soul. It is the right expression for this. You probably don’t want to get coloured by one company, you might want to have your own colour. For this, make sure that you are not caught up in one relationship.

If you find yourself caught up in one problem, get something to distract your attention. Get your mind distrancted. Read a book or go for a walk for example. It helps your mind refreshed. It doesn’t mean that you don’t try to solve it, not at all. Sometimes because the problem is so complicated, you can see its root cause really clearly and you can’t see any clear solution. You need to pause yourself for some times.

Your life is not only about one problem or one person you have a relationship with. Make your life as colorful as you want it to be. Make friends with as many people as possible. When you are making friends with them, become one who brings a positive influence. Become one who colors your companies.

Living with inspirations

When you need an inspiration, what do you ussually do? Or where do you go?

Do you need an inspiration in your day to day life or not?

Where do you go for an inspuration?

In my case,  I have several targets to achieve that definitely need some fresh inspirations. Firstly I have to give a public talk or workshop to serve community once a month. It is always a free topic. No one gives me a particular topic. This is a monthly target. Secondly  I have to write a weekly post for this blog. Thirdly I have to write at least four journals every morning. These are my personal targets.

The third one is very easy. This is about my daily reflection. It is based on my experience, observation, what I read or what I listen in a class. To achieve this target, I just need to make time in the morning and a solitude. That’s it! Ideas seem to freely flow. I do not experience any pressure doing this because basically I am just expressing what is in my head.

The first and second ones are not always easy. Sometimes I feel stuck. I need some inspirations. Sometimes I need a different atmosphere also.

Today I decided to go out for an inspiration. Today is a weekend. I carried my laptop and books in a tote bag (a shopping bag). When I was just getting ready, my neighbour who was happenly in his garage asked me “Where are you going?” Our houses are just across to each other.  “Just looking for an inspiration.” I replied, leaving him with a smile. He knows me and understands what I meant with that answer.

I went to the nearest Starbucks Coffee. Starbucks ussually does not fail for this purpose. When I got there, I saw some people were busy with their laptops. This coffee shop is located in separated building, sharing space with a marketing gallery for property. It is suitable for a working space during weekend. I spent three hours there. I found it was a quite productive weekend!

Happy weekend everyone!

Being faithful

If you love someone or something, you might become faithful to whom or what you love. To be faithful to someone means not to have somebody else in your heart. You are not thinking of someone else. You may share your life (time) with her or him. Then it is called to be faithful.

What about if you love something? You will use it, take care of it as frequently as possible, because you love it. You won’t keep it safe at home and not use it. To love something is to appreciate its best function and it is to utilize it as it is meant to be. It can be your bag, shoes, coat, watch, tumbler, pen or any other stuff that you use it everyday.

When you really love something, it is amazing that you won’t develop any feeling of boredom in using that stuff everyday.

I know one kid who loved his t-shirt with picture of a train on the front side of the t-shirt. He would only want to wear that t-shirt. Anyway that train was called Thomas in Thomas and Friends. It was a character on the cartoon movie he watched on TV. It sounds very funny. I was not sure what was in his mind about this character, which was a train, not an animal or a human being. Well kids have unlimited imagination sometimes.

I am not sure what was in his mind having this Thomas everyday.

I have my favourite Starbucks tumbler for my drink. I also use it everyday. It is designed for a hot and also cold drink. So, for me having just one tumbler is enough. I would always carry this tumbler to the office. I would feel something is missing when I forget to bring it. The reason is because I love it.

A colleague loves collecting tumblers. She has more than a dozen of tumblers in her collection. They are all Starbucks tumblers. Merchandise of starbucks. Every season they have new merchandise for sale. And my colleague would always buy one when she likes its design.

She loves those tumblers. She doesn’t use same tumbler all the time. Her love is for all the collections. Her love is devided. Although she has many, but she will only use one at one time. For her, to love is to keep it.

Jokingly I said to her “I think I am more faithful to one.”

Another colleague bought a special tumbler of BTS when they launched it as a merchandise. Probably a limited edition. She bought it and  kept it and never used it.

I just don’t understand why adults do not learn to love like a kid.

A thousand years

Being a vegetarian for many years I have been asked by different people about the reason behind it many many times. My answers have been varied depending on who was asking and the situation. From a serious answer to a not serious one.

Not long ago I was in a tour group with new people for almost 10 days. Very often we sat on same table during our breakfast, lunch or dinner. And we talked. During this eating time ussually someone would ask me what I was eating on this diet. Usually different person because we sat randomly. And I gave a different answer too.

I remembered when someone asked me the same question, I replied “I want to live a thousand years.” It was a apontaneous answer, of course Everybody who was there laughing at me. To become a vegetarian means to take a lot of vegetable and fruits for daily intake. Fruits and vegetables are considered to be healthy food, containing high vibre, fresh, easy to be digested etc etc. If you are healthy then you are more likely having a long life span. Well, that is the simple logic.

Vegetable salad with olive dressing is my favourite menu during this trip.

He then said that if I live that long, I would be lonely because probably all my friends would have died.

But then someone said “Don’t worry, I will travel with you. I will become your travel buddy.”

Have you ever thought of having a long life span? What are you going to do with your life if you are given a long life span? Will you be feeling lonely?

If you have something to contribute to humanity or to people around you, you will experience your life so valuable. Your heart will be full and you won’t feel lonely. To feel lonely is to feel lacking of something in the heart. It is feel a bit empty in your heart. A lonely heart is an empty heart. It is by giving that your heart will become full.

Think of what you can contribute to people around you instead of what you can take from them. Be where you experience yourself having enough for yourself and for giving it to others, not be where you need to take.