This week school started here. The covid cases has been relatively ‘under controll’ here, more and more people have been vaccinated. I myself have got my second jab a few weeks ago. The school started on Monday. So it has been a week. This morning I met some elementary students in their boy scout uniform walking back from school. I saw one little boy which his daddy walking behind him carrying his school backpack. This scene was so nice.
Looking at them walking back from school, I was feeling so happy. They have been waiting for this for more than three semesters or so. I couldn’t hide the excitement inside though I am not a student anymore. I was so sure that those kids were more excited than me. It is said that student life is the best life. I think I agree with whoever said this.
I have left my school days long long time ago. But I couldn’t hide the excitement inside me. I asked one of the boys ‘are you happy going back to school?’ He said that he liked it.
Nature never fails in giving gifts to us, if we may notice. I have a gardenia tree in my little garden. I noticed that it has been giving gorgeous flowers since June this year. I have been enjoying its white color and also the fragrance so much. Look at the beautiful picture below. I shared this picture to some friends and contacts. Along with the picture, I put a caption ‘what do you feel looking at this flower?’. Most of the people expressed their good feelings about it. It validated my thought that everybody loves flowers. A friend used the same word to express with me, ‘so gorgeous!’ We shared thr same feeling.
Only one person said that she didn’t feel anything. My other friend said that everyone relates to flower differently. The feeling might be different from one person to another as well. The seed of the beauty is not in the flower, but in the heart. The flower is just the trigger. The beauty (the feeling) is kept in the heart. Some will get triggered, other may not get triggered.
When I got covid-19 and just got tested, it said that my CT level was only 14. It was very low. The lowest among anyone I knew who got covid-19. I was introduced to start knowing some numbers. The body temperature, the pulse rate and also the oxygen saturation. All is indicated in numbers. I had an oxymeter to check the oxygen saturation and pulse with me. I heard from people the oxygen saturation tends to drop in covid patients. and when it drops to 90 or 85, one needs oxygen. The virus infects the lungs and quickly affect the respiratory system. Most of the covid patients experience shortness of breath, including me.
It should be checked regularly to know whether the patient need oxygen or not. Every time I checked my oxygen saturation that little monitor showed numbers, it kept changing from 99, 98, 97, 97,95, then 94. It takes a little bit of time to finally stop and show a number of oxygen saturation level. If you are the patient, that few seconds can make so panicked and restless. It was said that you need to be cautious if it goes down below 95. In such a situation, I decided not to check it again. I just didn’t want to know it anymore. Much later a friend who shared her story to me, taking care of four people in her family who got covid at the same time said that she became very stressful hearing the word oxygen saturation. The four people had to be hospitalized and all needed oxygen. The sad story was that one of them died, her brother in law.
The only thing that I kept with me is a thermometer. It was to check my body temperature. I needed to know if I still needed to take paracetamol or not. Covid-19 might not a simple disease. But I didn’t want to get myself complicated with those numbers and get stressed and worried. Worries would never help me. So I chose not to be worried.
A marriage counselor said that many married women at a certain age experience so much insecurities due to body shaming. They don’t want themselves not to look good. Many have tried so hard for keeping themselves to look good and in a good shape. None of them wants to look older and not beautiful. It has created strong insecurities. To be insecured is to create fear and the biggest fear is that her husband does not love her anymore or even leaves her at the worst. I never thought this as a serious problem, until a friend who is a marriage counselor shared this fact to me.
I think the first reason for this to happen is a commitment in relationship. A marriage is a committed relationship. To be committed means to be devoted. There is always a desire to make the one you devote or love to be happy. Each one has this responsibility for the happiness of the other side. A committed relationship also creates emotional dependency, then emotional attachment. There is no liberation, where there is a dependency.
Those women think that by keeping their bodies in shape or look good they will be attractive to their spouses. This draws their attention to become so much body conscious. The more you let yourself to be drawn by body consciousness, the more you become insecured. This is the price you have to pay. Because body consciousness is false consciousness. Body is made of the 5 elements of nature. Anything is made of the 5 elements will definitely change……. from new to old, from young to old. Accept this and be ready for this. Develop soul counciousness more. Because it is the soul that will never change. A soul doesn’t get older. A soul has the unlimited beauty. Uncover your own beauty within you, instead of desiring to fight against nature’s law. Accept the change of your body. And stay secured by being a beautiful soul.
When I had to stay in my self quarantine due to Covid-19 recently, as soon as I experienced something was not right with my body, I decided to disconnect myself from the world. And what it means to me is that I didn’t follow the news of what was happening out there. I did not allow it to enter my mind. I made my mind completely free from anything from external. I didn’t read any news nor watch any news. I kept telling myself that it was not the time to read or search for more information. The only information I needed at that time was how to deal with Covid-19. And I thought I was having enough of it with me. So I made myself focused on what was essential for me to do.
If something happened in the world and it was related to me or I had a responsibility in it, then I would surely know it very soon without me following the news of it. But if I didn’t know it or someone didn’t tell me, then I was so sure that it might not be related to me or I didn’t have any responsibility in it.
To be honest I was disconnected myself from ‘the world’ for a month. And I experienced my mind to be very clear through having very less thoughts. I listened to a class on zoom in the morning, it was my meditation class. So practically during the day I only had the thoughts of what taught in the morning class, which were positive and empowering ones.
What happened then with my mind? My mind became very clear in processing each thought. The decision I made was accurate. Practically I had no waste thoughts in my mind. When the number of thoughts is less, then they will become powerful and very clear. There is no clarity and thoughts are not powerful when you allow many thoughts occupy your mind.
So the practice of being disconnected from the world for a period of time is really really essential. I wish I can have this opportunity to do this again in the future, but of course without Covid-19. It is really a good practice for the mind and also for the heart. It empowers the soul.
I remember I had a thought of having a celebration when I got recovered. I call it ‘30 Minutes Celebration, free from Covid-19’. I shared this idea to a friend. In fact my body was so weak at that time. My friend might think that I had been feeling better. He said ‘It is a great idea. When you keep light and positive about it, it will inspire people.’ Actually I was not even going through my lowest point, my body was too weak and I still got high fever. Yet my mind was busy thinking and planning on the idea – the format of the celebration, what I wanted to share or say, who would be invited etc. Thinking of the celebration is having a positive thought. A positive thought gives power to the soul. This thought has made me focus on the recovery and not on the sickness. It must have contributed to my speedy recovery.
Since then I have a mission to encourage people to stay calm and stay courageous in dealing covid-19. Last Sunday I had my celebration on ZOOM. I invited my bosses, colleagues and friends for this. I was very happy that they could make it. I shared my experience in dealing with Covid-19 fearlessly, how I stayed happy and courageous. To my bosses, colleagues and friends, thank you for making time to join my celebration. You have supported me through your good wishes. I am so grateful to have you all.
When a colleague was being hospitalized due to Covid-19 in December last year, he told me that he didn’t like the meals provided by the hospital. I posted his story on A Solo Battle. So he decided to get his meals from outside through online order.
When I was in my self-quarantine at home, I didn’t have choices what to have for my meals. I only had in my stock one big package of oats, a box of raisin and a box of milk. I was not favourite for having breakfast with oats and raisin actually. But that was the only menu that I could have for breakfast. It is very easy and very quick to prapare. Only 3 minutes! My body was too weak to prepare my own meal longer than 3 minutes. So I had oats and raisin for my breakfast every single day. Since then I love this breakfast.
I had vegie soup for my lunch. I call it three-colors soup. Sweet corn, spinach and carrot. It looks fresh and super nice. I also had this menu every sibgle day. When I shared my soup photo to my colleague (I mention above) with a caption ‘I am very grateful with this soup’. He quickly responded ‘It must taste so good’. In fact I only put salt and pepper in it. It is just similar with hospital’s meal. It’s quite plain, not spicy at all.
The covid patients are always adviced to have sun rays, so I also did it. I sat just right in front of my front door to get the morning rays from the sun. It was really cool having my favourite drink, honey lemon tea. It is the hot one. It was just my mood booster.
I was really grateful with my simple meals during my self-quarantine.
When you are grateful, your heart is happy because you love what you have and you are not craving for something you don’t have.
When people get covid-19, they tend to be worried or panicked. In my case, I tried my best to stay calm. I understand the more I get worried, the worse my situation will become. And I will not be able to make a clear decision of what I need to do. So I choose to stay calm.
The question is then ‘How?’ I stopped reading and following the news of what was happening in the world, around me or the world out there. I didn’t want to know the news about covid-19 either. I thought if something happened in the world out there and I needed to know or it was related to me, then I would know it soon. But if I didn’t know it, it might not be related to me.
I stopped using almost all the social medias. Yes I still used my WhatsApps during that period, but only to communicate with some people whom I needed especially in dealing with Covid-19, or who needed me for a support or encouragement especially knowing some of my friends were also positive covid-19. We were then supporting one another. I don’t watch TV, since I don’t have one now.
In this way I could manage my mind to have very less thoughts. I only allowed positive and encouraging thoughts for myself and for others. And the thoughts were so powerful. The less thoughts you have, the more powerful they become.
Yesterday a friend who lives in Japan was telling me about the opening ceremony of the Tokyo Olympics. He said ‘Tokyo Olympics will be starting soon. Do you watch it?’ I smiled. I felt like I was reminded to the world sport event that is right now happening in Tokyo. So many people must have been waiting for this event.
It has always been very CLEAR with me that this virus only infects the body, not the soul. The soul remains safe and courageous. I kept telling myself and everyone ‘I know this soul is very strong.’
I think this thought helped me a lot in dealing with the virus. My friend said that this is the power of thought.
I took the medicine and vitamins that prescribed by a doctor. I had my covid vaccine. I heard from many people that after having vaccinated someone may still get infected but with mild symptoms, like me. This also helped me in my recovery.
I could maintain a state of having no complaint, about my situation nor the virus. I always communicated to the virus with love ‘Virus, you may stay here but I need to make this body strong. You will be more comfortable when this body is strong.’ In this way, I only allowed love fill my heart, including love for the virus. When there is love, there is no fear. In this way I remained fearless.
Actually people are not afraid of covid-19 but death. Because rarely people have prepared for their death.
I have one mission now, to inspire as many people as possible not to be afraid of covid-19 and stay courageous.