Whom would you remember in time of panic? Whom would you call to talk to in time of emergency?
Only yesterday evening an earthquake of 6.7 magnitudo struck Jakarta. I was in the office, on 23rd floor. As soon as we realized that the building was swaying, I saw my colleague rushing back from the meeting room holding her laptop. She and the other colleagues then took their bags and belongings and made themselves ready to get down. We were all in panic.
I said to them to stay, remain seated and not get down because the building was still swaying. It took a few seconds. Those few seconds was felt to be so long. We could feel the building was swaying. I remember I was calling ‘Oh God!’. I pushed my chair back to a pillar behind me. I then leaned the chair to that pillar. I remained seated and silent. I tried to recall what to do for a safety. I didn’t have much time to think and decide. I remembered that pillar was one of the strong parts of a building.
Very soon I saw everyone in the room was holding their smartphones and their eyes were looking at the screen, they might be searching for information of the earthquake. One of my colleague who was sitting next to me tried to call her kid at home to make sure that he was safe. Looking this scene in front of me, I said to everyone ‘Remember God, remember God!’ My colleague said ‘Yes, I am praying. I am remembering Him.’ She might be remembering God while remembering her family member (her kid).
During that moment, I remembered God and the earth. The earth was searching its balance. It was shaking and we call it an earth quake. I reminded myself of how much the earth has been supporting and giving life to me. It is just rightly to call it the mother earth. We owe so much to the mother earth. It is very obvious that we have to serve the earth. We have to help the mother earth. But how could we do it?
When the swaying stopped, I packed my stuff and my laptop and I went down to the lobby of the building. I saw many people were already there in the essamble point. I continued to keep the mother earth in my awarness. I was sending my good wishes for her.
Today I did my grocery shopping at the nearest supermarket. I decided to go there in the morning, because I do not like to queue at the cashier counter. I think more people like going to supermarket in the afternoon, especially during weekend. I was right. The queue was not long.
There were only two people in front of me in the queue. I was there with my trolley. And only one person behind me. I checked my shopping list to know if I forgot something to buy. I needed to get milk in carton. I saw they were displayed on my right side, very close from where I was standing. So I went there to get the milk, I left my trolley. When I got back to my trolley, I realized that the lady who stood behind me had skipped me. Very quickly I was feeling bad. ‘It is not fair. Don’t you know how to queue? hey.. this is a public place. Do you know how to behave in a public place?’ These thoughts were playing in my head.
I knew I tried to make myself calm inside. A soft voice in my head said ‘Tini, look at her trolley! Not really much stuff. She wouldn’t take a long time for the payment. It’s OK if you get delayed for one or two minutes for her.’
The other voice said ‘Yes, but it is not fair.’ This voice was louder. I pushed my trolley very slowly towards that lady. I hoped that lady noticed it. And of course, she didn’t dare to look at me. She might realize that what she did to me was not right. I then planned to give her a lesson when I have made my payment. I would like to say to her ‘Next time, please do not skip the queue.’ This was the thought in my head.
I was shocked when the cashier handed me the receipt of my payment. It cost more than I thought. There must have been something wrong, I thought. I then checked the list of the price of each purchased item on the receipt. Usually I never check any receipt of a payment. My eyes fall on to ‘broccoli’. It said 10 dollars for 269 grams of broccoli. It should have been only 1 dollar instead, as printed on its price tag. Then I talked to the cashier for this and she asked me to go to the information desk. The young man at the information desk apologized for the mistake. He took the receipt and the broccoli from me and revised it. He returned to me with some money. I was still feeling bad about that lady actually. I do not like keeping that kind of feeling in my heart, I always like sharing it to people. This is the way I let my emotion out and not keep it in me. It gives me feeling of a release after doing it. And I shared it to this young man. I told my little story of the lady in the queue and also my plan of giving her a lesson. But I had to deal with the mistake of the broccoli’s price, so I didn’t execute my plan.
I could see the benefit of being skipped. I learned a lesson. This lesson was for me, not for the lady.
It is 1st January 2022 here. First morning in the new year. In the other corner of the world is still new year eve. You might be still enjoying your new year eve with your loved ones there. Happy new year, everyone!!
How did you spend your new year eve? With whom did you spend it? Most people make new year eve with their family or friends, their loved ones. A friend was telling me that she planned to be on a road trip for a few days with her family, her mom, her dad, her uncles and aunties and nieces. It is a family trip. It sounds really fun. Another friend was telling me that she planned to visit her friend and spend the new year ever with her friends there. Another friend was telling me that he got an invitation for a new year celebration from somebody. He and his wife planned to go to celebrate new year eve there. The vibe is of happiness. Most people spend their new year eve with family and friends. Happiness is shared.
He asked me back ‘what about you? What is your plan?’ To be honest with him my plan was to be with myself. It was also a plan. Let me just find a place, a cozy place that is not crowded with people and let me just work on my new year resolution. Let me just spend some times with myself. I always consider myself to be the most important person and most loved one. I needed to complete my new year resolution. I had made its outlines, I needed to make it more detailed. I found this place, a coffee shop for me to work on my new year resolution. this place is really cozy, quiet. It is a perfect place. People were not interested to go to such place in new year eve. Across this place is a big shopping mall. People were more attracted to go there.
Sitting in this coffee shop and working with my new resolution, I could feel a very good vibe. I know what I like very clearly. I never feel missing out. I dare to be different from most people and I feel comfortable. I know this
Use the SMART formula. This is th same formula you can use for a goal setting. Anyway a resolution is also a goal. You set the goal and then achieve it. SMART – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bond.
You need to include your subconscious mind in manifesting what you want. And only when you make it specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bond your subconscious mind will understand what you want. It is your subconscious mind (conscience) that will guide you to achieve that goal. It knows the way to achieve it. So by setting your goal or your resolution in a very clear way, are actually communicate what you want to your conscience in a better way.
When I conducted a workshop on this topic, some audiences shared more ‘qualitative’ resolution like ‘I want to become a kind person’ ‘I don’t want to take sorrow from anybody’. To this qualitative goals, you can’t use the same formula but you definitely still need to make it clear to your self (your subconscious mind). Don’t just leave it there like that, you need to define the goal more detailed. How? Ask yourself, what do you mean by being a kind person? Why do you want to become one? How would you know that you are becoming a kinder person day by day? And the most important question is ‘What would you do everyday to make you this?’ This is a question for an action plan. A regular action that you are committed to take everyday. A resolution without an action would remain a wish or a dream. It won’t become a reality. A commitment is really essential for a successful resolution.
What do you mean by not taking sorrow from anybody? Why do you think you need to do this? How would you check yourself everyday that you are not taking sorrow from anyone? What are you going to do if you take sorrow with no intention? How would you deal with it? What would you say to yourself? How would you do for a self-check?
The clearer your resolution, the easier your subconscious mind will help you to manifest it. This is really the key!
I remember I made a resolution of becoming a more minimalist. And that meant to me to be less acquiring stuff. I made it very specific for clothings. Maximum 5 new clothes for one year. It is measurable. I was not a shopaholics but I thought I needed to do this. I did the same thing with shoes and bags. No new bag and no new shoes during that one year. I shared this resolution to a friend only a few months after January. And I confessed to her that I had bought more than ten clothes. And she said ‘You have failed already.’ I didn’t want to take her comment on me being a failure personally. I knew it would weaken me mentally. I said to my self instead ‘I will keep doing with this resolution. I don’t want to quit.’ I wanted to know myself how far I could go with my resolution by the end of the year. I could measure my failure at end of the year.
If you fail in making your resolution, don’t stop and start thinking that you are a failure, and feeling bad about yourself. No, you are a learner. You keep learning from the failure and you become better. Don’t listen to anybody.
When you meet a stranger and you might start having conversation with him or her, you might notice for your self the level of energy of that person. I mean the energy that creates vibration. Energy vibrates. We can sense the vibration around us. When someone starts complaining about situation or judging, you can sense a low vibration from that person, it means low energy. This low energy tries to pull you down. You might feel this.
I was in a conversation with a lady in a shop, a grocery shop. The lady is the owner of the shop. She is a stranger to me, I never met her before. She was at the cashier counter at that time. What do you usually talk about when you are in a conversation with a stranger? We were talking about random topics, from cooking, work, meditation till covid. I was the only customer in the shop at that time, so she was a bit relaxed and having time to talk with me. I remembered I was telling her that I got covid and how I dealt with it. I went through a lowest point during that period. She quickly jumped into a conclusion and said “Even you have been practicing meditation, you still had to go through the lowest point.” As we know covid may come to anyone. It doesn’t mean that someone who practices a spiritual practice like meditation will not get Covid or will not go through the lowest point. Actually it doesn’t really matter whether you get covid or not, whether you go through the lowest point or not. What matters is your attitude when you are dealing with it. It is your attitude that determines the outcome. Each one has different attitude to respond while going through a difficult situation like covid. A different attitude creates different vibration. The fact that I was there in the shop that day talking to her positively, it means I could go through my difficult time. I focused on the positive side of a situation.
I could sense that this lady was focusing more on the negative side of a situation. I could sense that she was a bit pessimistic. I knew I didn’t like the vibration and I said to her “I am a very optimistic person”.
When I was leaving her shop, she said to me ‘Tini, it was really nice talking to you.’
My short vacation a few weeks ago was just too nice to remember. It was so memorable. Probably because I made it unhurried one. I didn’t focus on the destination (the place we were going to visit), but I enjoyed the journey (the process) to that place. It is always the journey that takes longer time and energy. So better do not miss it.
I remember I told this to my friend ‘You are too focused on the destination. Enjoy the journey.’ She is a task-oriented person. She likes planning, which is also good. She was the one who kept reminding me to take Covid-19 test the day before our flight back. Not only reminding, but also searching for the clinic and arranging it.
I also remember, a colleague texted me one morning, very early morning ‘How is Ubud?’
Me : ‘Great!’ Then I sent him the picture below and ask him: ‘Does it look like a vacation of a crazy rich?’
He: ‘No!!!’ Me : ‘Why?’ He : ‘A crazy rich will wear a bikini.’
Probably a crazy rich won’t go to a forest or village like me, they will go to an island and stay in a luxurious resort with private beach and yes, wear bikinis. 😊
In term of the feeling of happiness, is it same happiness of a crazy rich and non-crazy rich same? Is its degree same or not?
Happiness has to do with the state of mind (probably also the sate of heart), it has nothing to do with physical wealth. Mind and heart are in soul. They are non-physical.
I said in my heart ‘I am not a crazy rich but spiritually rich.’
Have you had any vacation during this pandemic? If you had one, how was your vacation? Did you take an air trip? Is there any different?
I was having my vacation last week, during the weekend. It was more like a short break for me. It was my first vacation for the last two years. I experienced myself to be in a ‘physical lockdown’ due to the pandemic. No trip at all. So I was very excited.
I was in this trip with a friend. The beauty of having a travel buddy is that we can share. My friend did the flight booking and I did the hotel booking and car rental. We shared a room. We shared itinerary. We decided where to go together, but I let her make the detail itinerary. Luckily both of us are quite flexible people. I think we have become a nice travel buddy to each other.
I called it an unhurried trip. Although it was just a very short, but I wanted to experience it as a relaxing vacation. I expected a lot from this. I told my friend things I wanted to do and enjoy during our vacation. Just to make her understand her travel buddy. I tried to be open about everthing to her as much as possible. I told her that I would do my morning meditation, journaling and yoga exercise. So I brought a yoga mat with me. We are flexible people. We didn’t have to attach to each other all the time. One morning I went to a meditation class and she went to a new coffee shop that she was really curious about. She enjoyed her breakfast there. The day before we went to that coffee shop but it was fully booked. It looked very nice, in the middle of the forest in Ubud.
This is a break for the soul, so refreshing. We enjoyed the nature so much. I enjoyed the morning tracking. I really loved it. We enjoyed mountain, lake, forest and also paddy field. I kept reminding myself that it was the journey for the soul, not just a physical journey. It is the soul that creates the experience. It is the soul that is filled with nice feelings – relaxed, unhurried, unoccupied. It is a real break when the mind stop rushing.
Do you have any trauma for a particular animal? I am not sure if it can be called a trauma or not. A friend of mine can not bear seeing a cockroach. She becomes so histerical instantly anytime she sees this animal. She can jump and scream. She doesn’t know why and when she started having this trauma. She couldn’t remember anything happened to her particularly that made her having this trauma. This is the reason why she prefers to live in an apartment and not in a landed house. It sounds a bit funny, cockroach becomes an important point to consider before buying a property.
When she visited me a few weeks ago, on our way to my home she was telling me this (the cockroach story). So I had to clean everything before she entered the house and make sure there was no cockroach. Cockcroach is small in size and it is not really dangerous animal. I used to tease her for this as if I didn’t have any trauma myself. I forgot that I also have similar trauma with caterpillars, the green one. The one that loves eating leaves. I know this is the reason why I am not very keen in gardening. Actually I have tried a self-therapy to reduce my emotional reaction when seeing a caterpillar. Every time I saw one, I tried to manage my feeling and I looked at it a bit closer to it and tried to know and communate to this creature, being aware my feeling. It worked to a certain point. At least to the small ones. But not the big one. So, size matters for me.
Another friend of mine loves caterpillars. Does it sound funny? I sent her some pictures of caterpillars I took for her. She said ‘It is so beautiful!’ I tried very hard to see the beauty of it. So every time I saw a caterpillar, I remembered her. So far I could manage my trauma. Until a few weeks ago, that trauma came again. I love green vegie so much. It was Saturday morning and I decided to have lots of vegie that day. I bought two bunches of fresh spinach from the nearest vegetable vendor. After my morning walk I decided to cook the spinach and unexpectedly I found a big green caterpillar on the spinach. Almost as big as my pointing finger. I tried to manage my reaction, I didn’t scream, but I felt myself ‘paralized‘ quite instantly. I stopped my cooking and I was not interested to have spinach anymore. I got someone to take the whole bunch of the spinach and throw them away. The feeling was very strong. It is interesting how each one react differently on animal.
I have noticed that for the last few years I have been hearing from friends that I should publish a book. After reading articles I wrote, a friend said to me ‘I want to see how far you will take this’. Another friend never stops encouraging me to write a book and publish it. I have been asking myself this question. Why do I have to write a book and publish it? for an approval? for a recognition? or for what? for myself? or for whom? So far, I haven’t got the answer and I don’t feel any urgency to do that till this moment. Before working on something, begin with why. I remember this advice. When the why is clear, you will carry it on more easily, and happily. I think I have been believing this.
A friend called me from far away last week, on Friday evening. He brought me a good news. He said that he just published his first book. I was happy for him. He also said to me that I was the one who inspired him finishing and publishing his book. He joined my journaling workshop a few years ago. So he called me to encourage me back to start thinking of publishing a book. I was not feeling any jealousy nor feeling less than him. I do not compare myself to anyone. I know myself quite well. So I congratulated him for what he has done.
Every time I think of publishing a book, I think of the long process of it, I might not be free to express my own idea in preparing a book for a publication but I need to consider what the readers want to read. I am not ready for this. I know I have a lot of ideas in my head to put in writing. Many of them are personal. Let me just process them. At the moment I think blogging accomodate my needs a lot. I don’t experience any pressure. I thank to myself for being consistent with this and I also thank to you, the readers.
A perfectionist tends to see what is not right in everything. A perfectionist usually has a standard for what is called to be `perfect`. He or she tends to stick to this standard rigidly. Someone said to me that a perfecionist finds it to be difficult to be happy or to be content and probably to be grateful. These three are interconnected – being happy, content and grateful.
One of my colleague is a perfectionist. The good thing is that she is aware of being one. She is also aware that it has made her uncomfortable in many situations. One day, she gave me a ride back home from office. During that ride, she was complaining a lot about her car. Her car was just repaired, full body repainted. Her car is white. Her eyes are just too sharp to see what is not going right with the painting. She showed me a small area behind the handle of its door that she complained. She was not satisfied with the repair. So she complained. Her standard is very high for this, her expectation too. She has a very small margin for things not to get right. She takes time to accept thing as it is, she takes time to make herself peaceful. This is the reason why a perfectionist finds it difficult to be happy.
I think we need to learn from God. God is perfect but He is not a perfectionist. This is why God is called the Ocean of Happiness. God has a very high standard for what is called as ‘perfect’, yet He is also flexible. He is not rigidly attached to that standard. He has the rooms for human beings to make mistake, He has enough room to forgive. He never complains.