How much words can work

It has been a week I am here in a retreat program. I planned to join this program a month before. I prepared myself before leaving. My roomate here said that I am a good planner. I also planned what to do and what not to do during retreat. I want to take benefit for myself from this program as much as possible. I want to learn as much as possible, not only from classes and lectures but also from sharing with other participants and also from observation.

One of my favorite corners in this retreat place for my reflection

I put a limit for myself in accessing internet and social media platforms. This is what I can not do in my normal day where I always carry my smart phone with me. It seemed like I cannot live without this device even just an hour. I want to prove for myself that I can live without a smart phone for several hours a day.

Ussually I read one quote as a thought for today for myself. I do it in the morning. Then I also post it on one of my social media platforms. Quite often my friends or my contacts get inspired also by reading the quotes. Some thanked to me for posting it.

It is amazing how words can work really positively on people. This is a very easy way to inspire others probably also to uplift others. How do you feel when you are reading an inspiring quote? Does it give you a positive feeling?

A few days ago I got a message from my little friend, a 10-year old boy called Marvell. He wrote to me why I did not post any inspiring quote anymore these days. I felt so sorry about it. I told him that I am in India and I am too busy to read and to post one. Probably I should make time for this today or tomorrow knowing at least someone is waiting for the post out there.

We never know what one quote can do to someone’s life. We never know if it can relate to someone’s situation and probably become the answer for their questions.

Miss Baby Corn

Do you easily get bored? What do you do when you get bored?

My friend was telling me how she played a song in her car while driving on her way to or from work many many times. She loved the song. She told me that the lyrics was so beautiful. When her older sister was happenedly going with her in the car and she played the song and kept replaying it, her sister expressed her amazement that she had not get bored listening (problably also singing it) “again?!”

Actually I tend to do the same with song or music, but also with a short podcast or audio classes. I can play it again and again and again.

Some years ago I played an audio record of someone giving a lecture. I like the topic and also the way he was delivering it with so much fun….and so honest sharing on his experience. It was recorded in a compact disc. I remembered that I kept the CD sitting there in the player in my car for at least the whole year. I had no idea how many times I had listened to it. I was quite sure more than a hundred times.

I do the same in eating. I have been eating same food (menu) for the last two months at least for my breakfast and my lunch. I cook baby corn mixed with other vegetables and have it for breakfast and lunch. A simple dish actually, probably too simple. It just needs a very quick preparation. This is one of the reasons why I choose to cook this dish. I skip dinner most of the time. I noticed that by having this menu everyday I never have any problem with my digestion system.

“Miss Baby Corn”

My colleagues knew this and they start calling me ‘Miss Baby Corn’. They are amazed how I can have it everyday without feeling bored. Each time I have it, I enjoy it, especially when it is still fresh and hot.

I see colleagues often do not know what to have for their lunch. They take a bit of time to think and decide what to have for lunch. They keep changing their menus. Rarely same menus for several days in a row. I save so much time in this.

It does’t mean that I never get bored. I do. But at least not in the areas I shared above or in what I like.

Is it really a problem if you don’t get bored very easily? Or getting bored very easily is more a problem?

Valentine’s Day

February is special,  known as the month of love. It has Valentine’s day in it. Every 14th of February people celebrate Valentine’s day. Love is the breath in life. It is the oxygent. It is needed by each and every living being. I cannot imagine how life would be without love.

I don’t remember exactly when I knew that February 14th is Valentine’s day and who is Valentine and the story behind it. It is not in our culture here to celebrate Valentine’s day. Especially many many years ago when internet and social media were something not popular. When people were living with news papers, radio and television.

I remember a friend was telling me a sweet story of her with her daddy when she was still a young teenaged girl. She is the only daughter in the family, very much loved by her parents. She lived in a small town in North Sumatera called Tarutung, not far from Toba lake.

Say it with chocolate!

I don’t know exactly what happened in her school that day on the Valentine’s day. But when she arrived home she excitedly told her dad that it was Valentine’s day. In those days Valentine’s day was only popular among young people. So he asked his young daughter ‘What is Valentine’s day?’

I guess it was the first time he heard it. And my friend explained that valentine day is when a boy gives chocolate to a girl. A quite simple definition from a young teenaged girl.

In the evening her dad brought home chocolate for her. I can imagine how these two people expressed their love to each other in that moment. My friend was ofcourse surprised. So lovely and so sweet.

When do you follow your feeling?

When you have to make an important decision, do you always need someone’s opinion?

A friend of mine planned to buy a new car. Buying a car for many people is considered as an investment. It needs quite a lot of money. She is an unmarried woman. Being unmarried means having no partner to discuss with and in her situation is on automotive updates. She said to me “If I have a husband, at least I have someone who can give me a view of what car I should buy.” She needed someone to discuss with.

Probably this is one of downsides of being a single. Of course it is not always the case.

I remembered a colleague when she was going to take her car ownership program for her, she discussed it with her husband who happenedly worked for Toyota for many years. He was very much exposed to technology updates in automotive. He gave her his opinion on this and probably too much for her. They ended up with a conflict. The husband was very strong with his suggestion while my colleague wanted him to give her a bit of freedom to decide.

It is very interesting how two people have a completely different perspective for the same situation, for buying a car. Both are female. This automotive world might belong to males more than females.

Is automotive world more for males?

I remembered my own situation a few years ago. Actually I knew what to buy, a brand with road assisstant services. This was my number one criteria for choosing a brand for a car. As a female driver, I am aware that I need this assistance in case of an emergency. Just out of curiosity, I went to a show room of another brand. I had a test-drive there. It was a good experience driving that car, very comfortable. A test drive can really give an experience for the driver. And it can change someone’s mind. And I changed my mind. I made a very quick decision to choose that brand. I did not need anyone to discuss with. I followed my feeling. I even compromised to the criteria I have put earlier.

A Gift Exchange

When you go to someone’s event or your friend’s like a wedding, birthday party or any other event probably they give you a gift or souvenir. This souvenir is a token for you.

Many people are so creative with interesting ideas for souvenir and gift. I remembered long time ago a friend who had her wedding party gave a souvenir for each guest a little fruit plant. I think it was a brilliant idea. It gave people idea to plant a tree. It encouraged people to take care of the environment.

But most of the time, people do not really care when they give souvenirs for their programs. Many many times I brought home a mug or a glass, a folding cloth bag, folding fan, lunch box and many more.

When you get these souvenirs what do you do then with those stuff? Do you use it? Do you keep it and collect it? Do you give it to someone else? Do you donate it? Or do you throw it away?

A gift exhange

Rarely I got a souvenir that I really need it. To be honest I would be happy if I get a souvenir or a gift something I really need. It doesn’t have to be fancy. I do not care whether it is just a simple stuff or something very cheap.

I remembered a few years ago we had a gift exchange in the office. Each one had to write a gift she wanted to have and also write their names in a little folding paper. Those who got that little folding paper should prepare the gift as written inside. I wrote a little knife for cutting fruit. My colleague happily gave me that gift. I was so thankful to her. Another time I wrote to have a gift of pen refill. I also remembered a colleague wrote to have a gift for her a baby turtle. It sounds unussual, anti-mainstream. Luckily I didn’t get her request. 😊

The gifts from each one for our gift exchange recently.

I hate collecting souvenirs. They just clutter my space.

Mount Abu

I think I have to be thankful to my colleagues. Deep down in our hearts we are supporting one another though superficially we sometimes look like Tom and Jerry to one another.

Our communication has been so open that anyone can say anything about any of us. No one should get hurt or probably ‘should learn not to get hurt’. We learn one another’s personalities without any judgement and learn to accept them. If we are full-time working probably we might spend our times with our colleagues more that with anyone else. So when your relationship with those who work with you should be enjoyable.

When I became a bit more reactive, some colleagues said to me “I think you need ‘namaste’. You have not gone to a retreat for several years.”

I have been practicing meditation and they call it ‘namaste’. They are very funny. They understand meditation helps, at least what they see in me. When I began to be a little bit reactive to a situation in the office, a colleague said “You have become like us. So you urgently need a ‘namaste’.” They were aware of me being different from them and they wanted me to stay different. It is intereating to know this.

They even asked me to get the nearest schedule for a retreat for me. They encourage me to go and I have planned to go to Mount Abu India.

Joy Of Missing Out

December this year looks different from December last year in 2021 and definitely different from one in 2020. At least what I see in my office. Some colleagues have started to prepare their family vacation during Christmas holiday and New Year. Some even had their early year end vacation last week. I think it is a good idea, because hotels are fully booked for new year and prices have gone very high.

December last year I went to Bali for a short escape with a friend. Though we were still shadowed by the Omicron variant but we decided to go to Bali. We went early December last years anticipating the crowd during Christmas and new year. Bali just started opening for tourist last year. Many hotels were not ready for receiving guests. I remembered we booked a very nice hotel, 4 star one in Ubud with a very good price, later we knew that not all the rooms were open for guests. Not fully booked last year. Today, no need to ask. I think most of the hotels are fully booked including ones in the city. Since staycation has become a choice nowadays for those who don’t want to travel.

December in 2020 was a completely different story. Noone was talking about having a holiday. Most of the hotels were closed. Many restrictions were applied everywhere. My colleagues and bosses got covid after a kick-off meeting. Some even needed hospitalization. Sadly a colleague left us forever only a few days after the new year. Covid was very scary in those days. It was still unknown.

Seeing the scenes, what people around me are trying to enjoy the holiday and also feeling the vibes make me feel so good inside. The moment is back!

Today was the last working day before Christmas in my office. Some colleagues even have taken their leaves starting today. In my room, there were only 3 of us, holiday vibe was felt. A colleague told me that she is going to take her kids to Komodo island. They plan to stay there for a week. Just listening to her, I was feeling excited.

I myself will not go anywhere. I am very far from ‘fomo’, while everybody is away, I would prefer to spend time with myself at home. I can do it for days and I enjoy it. Being in solitude is also a luxury. In fact I am more ‘jomo’, joy of missing out.

Feeling wealthy

Are you wealthy? What comes into your mind when you hear this word, wealth?

Only a few weeks ago, I had to talk about being wealthy and staying wealthy. I made a disclaimer that I am not wealthy in a sense of having a lot of wealth like properties, money, stocks, bonds, crypto etc. I still have a morgage to pay, car loan and also credit card to settle. So I don’t consider myself to be wealthy in this sense.

Am I feeling wealthy? I can quickly answer this question and my answer is ‘yes’. I know my feeling. Probably I am the best person in the world who know what is in my heart (my feeling). I think noone is better than me in this.

Feeling is generated by the heart. It is firstly generated in the mind in the form of thought. So to feel wealthy, actually you do not need anything from outside. You can create any thought you want, and your heart will follow. The heart will create the feeling accordingly. When the mind and the heart are not conflicting, they will work together. They seem to trust to each other.

The hardest task for each one of us is probably to make the head and the heart coherent or not conflicting. It is to make them trust each other. When it happens, then whatever thoughts you create, you will feel it accordingly.

Can you recall any moment when you try really hard in your head to convince yourself, yet your heart doesn’t get conviced? Or do you always find it vwry easy to convince yourself?

When your mind says ‘I am wealthy’, your heart quickly agrees and creates a feeling of having enough or fulfilled.

Don’t get caught up.

It is serious! If you have a problem in your life and it is really a very big problem, I tell you “Dont get caught up in that particular problem!”

And it means you should not only think that one problem day and night, for several days or weeks. No! It is not worth it.

If you are in a relationship with someone, I tell you the same “Don’t get caught up in that one relationship!”

Many people get caught up in their committed relationships.

You might be inspired by one particular person. You might like him or her so much. And it is OK to get inspired, it is good. You then decide to do something in your life, probably to make some changes. That inspiration might become a little push for you. And many times you might need it. But then realize, that’s enough. You have to carry on with your own life. You can not become dependent all the time to whoever give you inspiration or support. Don’t become his or her devotee. I observed this devotion feeling in a comitted relationship  and I found it ended up unhealthy for one party or even for both.

Company colors the soul. It is the right expression for this. You probably don’t want to get coloured by one company, you might want to have your own colour. For this, make sure that you are not caught up in one relationship.

If you find yourself caught up in one problem, get something to distract your attention. Get your mind distrancted. Read a book or go for a walk for example. It helps your mind refreshed. It doesn’t mean that you don’t try to solve it, not at all. Sometimes because the problem is so complicated, you can see its root cause really clearly and you can’t see any clear solution. You need to pause yourself for some times.

Your life is not only about one problem or one person you have a relationship with. Make your life as colorful as you want it to be. Make friends with as many people as possible. When you are making friends with them, become one who brings a positive influence. Become one who colors your companies.

Being faithful

If you love someone or something, you might become faithful to whom or what you love. To be faithful to someone means not to have somebody else in your heart. You are not thinking of someone else. You may share your life (time) with her or him. Then it is called to be faithful.

What about if you love something? You will use it, take care of it as frequently as possible, because you love it. You won’t keep it safe at home and not use it. To love something is to appreciate its best function and it is to utilize it as it is meant to be. It can be your bag, shoes, coat, watch, tumbler, pen or any other stuff that you use it everyday.

When you really love something, it is amazing that you won’t develop any feeling of boredom in using that stuff everyday.

I know one kid who loved his t-shirt with picture of a train on the front side of the t-shirt. He would only want to wear that t-shirt. Anyway that train was called Thomas in Thomas and Friends. It was a character on the cartoon movie he watched on TV. It sounds very funny. I was not sure what was in his mind about this character, which was a train, not an animal or a human being. Well kids have unlimited imagination sometimes.

I am not sure what was in his mind having this Thomas everyday.

I have my favourite Starbucks tumbler for my drink. I also use it everyday. It is designed for a hot and also cold drink. So, for me having just one tumbler is enough. I would always carry this tumbler to the office. I would feel something is missing when I forget to bring it. The reason is because I love it.

A colleague loves collecting tumblers. She has more than a dozen of tumblers in her collection. They are all Starbucks tumblers. Merchandise of starbucks. Every season they have new merchandise for sale. And my colleague would always buy one when she likes its design.

She loves those tumblers. She doesn’t use same tumbler all the time. Her love is for all the collections. Her love is devided. Although she has many, but she will only use one at one time. For her, to love is to keep it.

Jokingly I said to her “I think I am more faithful to one.”

Another colleague bought a special tumbler of BTS when they launched it as a merchandise. Probably a limited edition. She bought it and  kept it and never used it.

I just don’t understand why adults do not learn to love like a kid.