Last week I was invited to share some thoughts on how to develop self-respect. When I just received the notice, The first thing came into my mind was ‘what is the reason for not having self-respect?’ I think it is because we do not see our self-worth. Why do we not see our self-worth? This is because we see people a lot. What is wrong in seeing people? When we see people, we start comparing ourselves to them.
We start thinking ‘They are better than me. They are more fortunate. They are more successful. They are more experienced. They know better than me.’ What do we then feel when we have these thoughts? We start feeling insecure. If we sustain these thoughts by keeping these on and on and on in our head, we develop inferiority. Very often we don’t realize that we are nurturing these thoughts until we notice ourself feeling very low and small. This inferiority blinds you from seeing your self-worth.
Or you may start creating thoughts like ‘I am better. I am more fortunate. I am more successful.’ You develop superiority. For most people it doesn’t happen more frequently than the inferior one.
Comparing yourself to other people will always lead you to inferiority or superiority. You experience yourself emotionally in an oscillation between high and low. You are not comfortable to be in this oscillation. It doesn’t serve you inner stability.
Some call it ego. Ego is always false. It is just an illusion.To feel inferior or superior is an illusion. It is never permanent. Know this ego in you. Try to notice yourself when you start developing this. Be there for the sake of your inner stability. Because it is so destructive to your spirit (your self). It is very manipulative. It will never allow you to be able to see your self-worth. Your enemy for attaining your self-worth is not out there. It is right here, inside your head. Very subtle. Become the true warrior and conquer this enemy.
I make this time to revisit my heart, the spirit inside. It has been sitting there for such a long time. I have been very busy listening the noise of my ego in my head. I have been neglecting myself. I have started believing what my ego said to me and it has completely made my heart weak and broken.
I make this time to sit with my true self, and listen. I open my heart. I feel very confortable.
It speaks very gently to me: “You are very special. You are loveable. You are here to share your love. Open your heart and express your love. Let the energy flow from the inside out”
It is so empowering and encouraging.
I can feel the energy of love fills my heart. I feel myself empowered.
Now I invite the Greatest Healer to fill my heart with His healing energy. I keep my heart open for His pure loving energy. His love is unconditional. His love is permanent and so uplifting. He has a very loving heart to everybody. I can trust Him. I have nothing to hide from Him. I let Him help me in this healing process. I keep His company with me.
The feeling becomes stronger and stronger. This genuine love puts all the pieces of my heart together. It heals the wounds and the scars. My heart become whole again.
I remember I was meeting with a friend. We were sitting in a coffee shop. It happened before the pandemic. Both of us are interested in journaling. We were sharing about how we were doing our journaling. When I was talking suddenly she stopped me and said to me “Tini, I think you have a very good energy.” I realize that whenever I am talking about journaling, I always speak with a great interest. Because I am so passionate about it. When there is passion, there is love, happiness and enthusiasm. This generates energy. People can feel this energy.
Each one of us vibrates energy to the atmosphere every moment, whether we are speaking or not. Each one of us contributes to the atmosphere. Thought is energy. Our mind never stops generating thoughts. Our being (consciousness) is constantly generating this energy to the atmosphere. This vibration creates frequency. The higher the consciousness, the higher the frequency that is created. What thoughts have high frequency? Thought of peace, happiness, love etc. What thoughts have low vibration? Thought of regret, guilt, anger, blame, fear, shame etc.
What thoughts and vibrations are created around the world collectively for the past one year? probably of worries, of uncertainties, of fear. The world now needs high vibration. Vibe so high!
Who wants to live abundantly? Everybody wants to have an abundant life. To have an abundant life means to experience that I have nothing lacking in my life. To experience gratitude more often. I think it has to do with mindset. It is about how you create it in your mind and then feel it in your heart – having an abundant mindset and a big heart.
A few months ago I joined a 21 Days challenge of abundance with friends and I thought to rerun this challenge for myself. I call it as Abundance Project. Since I do it personally, I don’t have to follow the original guidance of this challenge. I do not make it into 21 days either. It is more than 30 days now. I still do not know when to finish it. I free myself for this. This project is more about a morning reflection on this topic everyday and put it in writing. I go into the depth of the different aspects of this topic. Write different thoughts of abundance. It helps me to see abundance in life within me, around me, in nature and in time of the past, the present and the future. If you can see abundance, your heart will become content. You develop gratitude. Where there is contentment, all the other inner powers will come.
When this pandemic just started, I was exposed to the information of how to keep our immune system strong. One of the tips and tricks is to get exposure to direct sunlight. I remember during the “stay at home” period many people made time for having direct sunlight exposure. You might be one of them.
I have been developing a new habit for the last few months and I am happy with this that I can do it consistently. I take a daylight walking around the office buildings during the lunch break. It is very simple, easy and healthy. I get the direct sunlight and at the same time I have a physical exercise. I enjoy it very much. It might be useful for busy people who do not have time for exercise.
During this pandemic all the fitness centers are closed. My colleague really loves having physical exercise for her stamina. It is very interesting to see how she adapts herself to this pandemic. She made a shift. She takes a walk from home to office and from office to home everyday. I think it is really a brilliant idea. It takes her one hour for each way.
I think everyone of us has a moment in life when we are down. We feel ourselves in a low state (mental state). You don’t want to let yourself in that low state forever, do you?
What do you do when you are down? How can you make yourself up again? How will you give yourself an encouragment or an energy booster? You can not always find someone to cheer you up, to uplift you. In that situation, you need to find a way to bring your state high.
Make time for yourself and being with yourself. Listen to your heart. Understand the thoughts you keep in your mind that make you feel what you are feeling (feeling low). Then speak to yourself genuinely. Encourage yourself. This is also called a self-affirmation. We need to do this.
Then a friend said “Is it not like sabotaging yourself by telling you are good when in fact you know you are not good?”
If you are now feeling low, check your thoughts. What kind of thoughts have you been keeping in your mind? Be honest in this. This is an internal check. Only you can do it. No one else can do it for you or help you. Not your spouse nor your “soul mate”. This is an individual inner work. To do an honest checking means you need to make time just to be with yourself. Can you do this?
If you are honest enough, you might realize that these are the noise that keep playing in your head. “You are not good enough. “You are weak.” “You are unlovable.” “No one likes you.” These thoughts have sabotaged you and made you BELIEVE it. You feel what you believe. That low state doesn’t come suddenly. It takes time.
Now do the same. Keep telling yourself that you are good enough. You are worthed. You are lovable. You are special. Make yourself believe what you are telling to yourself. I know it also takes time. But if you understand that this is the way to bring yourself up again, will you not do this?