Reflection

Temporary Beauty vs. Permanent Beauty

You might agree with me that cosmetic does an amazing thing, if not called a magic. It can change somebody’s appearance dramatically. Someone may look so beautiful having a make-up. Though someone may look so pretty with a make-up, she doesn’t want to have it for the whole time. When she arrives home or when she is going to bed, she will definitely clean her face from the cosmetic product she has applied on her face. A make-up remover is applied.

A friend asked me to buy a cosmetic product for her. It was a pencil for eyebrow. Dark brown colored. She also mentioned the brand in her message. I read her message very quickly and I replied OK.

I went to the nearest store, not a big store to get the stuff. I was so sure without asking the sales counter, I went to the cosmetic section. I knew what I wanted to buy. I looked at the whole section where different brands of cosmetic products displayed but I couldn’t find the pencil I wanted. Then I told the sales counter about it. She asked me the brand I was looking for. I said with so much confidence: “Vivo.”

She looked a bit confused and said: “There is no such brand for cosmetics. We have Viva, not Vivo.”

I became confused and to make sure I checked what my friend had written to me. It said Viva. Later I remembered that Vivo is a brand for electronic products.

Inner beauty is beauty from the heart.

You might also agree with me that make-up can only give a temporary beauty not a permanent one, an external beauty. While inner beauty is from the heart. You don’t need to apply any make-up to have inner beauty. What you need is a kind, gentle, strong and big heart. You can have it for the whole time. You don’t need any remover for this.

Reflection

Boredom

I like putting ideas in my head in writing. If someone asks me why, my answer would be in the sake of clarity. Yes, when it is put in writing, it becomes clear to me. I like writing everything, an idea or an issue that is occupying my head.

If it is an idea, it allows me to see how much I have understood. If it is an issue or a problem, it allows me to see the root cause of it and what possible solution or probably just a way to deal with it.

Long time ago a friend asked me if I have written a topic on boredom. I think she was feeling bored at that time. Another time she said to me that she was feeling overwhelmed. I then tried to recall if I had written one. I didn’t remember. I think I never write about this topic. It doesn’t mean that I never feel bored. Sometimes I also feel it, but it never becomes an issue that I have to really pay attention and seek a remedy.

I like to put myself as a learner. I see life around me and also nature as an opportunity to learn something. There is always something new that I can explore. The world around us is like a very big school and all of us are students. There is always enthusiasm in being a student. You will always find it as a life long learning process.

The exam would not be fixed in timing. The question would be different for each one. We can not copy it from other students. The good thing in this process is that we are still allowed to fail. We are given a chance to learn again.

How do you deal with boredom?

Reflection

Dealing with loss

Last week was probably the hardest week for my friend. She just lost her husband after being hospitalized for almost a week. He left his body at the age of 41. A quite sudden loss. He was hospitalized due to dengue fever. Since he was admitted at the hospital, he was treated in the intensive care unit due to low oxygen saturation.

She is actually my colleague. We could feel her feeling from day one of the hospitalization, from emotion to emotion, fear to fear. We went to the hospital to give her support. We also went to his funeral.  We understand it was not easy for her. We wanted to see her strong. I think without saying it, she knows that we care for her so much. I am also sure that she has the strength to carry her life ahead.

Each and everyone of us might have experienced loss, if not yet we surely will. Death is something certain to come to every living being on earth. Dare to live and also dare to die. These two come as couple. We just don’t know the timing.

This loss has reminded me that actually we can not possess anything nor anyone in this world. Everything we can see through our eyes is temporary. To be temporary means there will come the time to leave or be left. Till the time comes, it is better to prepare it. Keep reminding not to attach your heart to anything that is temporary. If you need attach your heart, then attach it to something permanent, something that won’t leave you, something that makes you strong.

Reflection

Why do we need a relationship?

Everyone needs a relationship. Is there anyone who doesn’t need a relationship? How is it like to have a life without any relationship? Probably lonely and so boring.

Why do we need a relationship? I think it is because we experience love through relationship. Everybody needs love. Everybody wants to be loved and also to love.

This need for love is probably the first need for each and every human soul. When this need is not fulfilled, the mind is restless, non-stop seeking and the heart is empty. And when this need is fulfilled, the mind stops searching and the heart is full.

How do you fulfill this desire? You probably also search through relationship with someone. Very often a relationship makes someone dependent on whom they have a relationship with. It is not liberating. It is an emotional attachment. When there is dependency, there is always a fear of losing. The desire for love is not fulfilled permanently.

There are 3 sources of love, from whom you can experience love. Firstly is from others and you know that it is not permanent. Secondly is from the self. This will not create dependency. It it fulfilling. It creates true self respect. It is more permanent. And thirdly is from God. It is very liberating. God’s love is liberating the soul, it doesn’t create any dependency.

You can make yourself full through experimenting the second and third sources of love.

What do you think how to experience this love from yourself and God practically in your life?

Journal of the day

You are infinite

Do you like going to a museum? What do you enjoy most when you are in a museum? When was your last museum visit? I think those who are interested in history would love going to a museum.

A friend of mine has a very great interest in history and this interest had led her to travel probably around the world. She had visited Cu Chi tunnel in Vietnam and also Machu Piccu in Peru. She would be very enthusiastic explaining those kind of historical places everytime I asked her to share.

I am not really interested in history. I have visited some museums here, but not all museums. I think my understanding art is too shallow. Last week I went to a contemporary art museum with a friend. I was curious to know what a contemporary art was like. They mostly displayed current artworks, I suppose the artists are still alive and even still creating some artworks. The museum has more than 800 collection from so many different artists to be displayed, but they don’t display all collections at the same time. They change the layout and also the artworks periodically. As soon as I entered the room, I could feel the sense of being “contemporary”. I could sense the difference from the conventional one. The museum is on the third floor. Almost half of the floor was closed for preparing a solo exhibition which would be opened in a few days.

Actually I knew this museum since a few years ago from a friend when it was just newly opened, but I was just not interested to visit till a friend from different city came and he is a graphic designer. I thought he might be interested in visiting a museum.

What I enjoyed the most in this museum was the Infinity Room. Each group of only 2 people maximum are allowed to be in the room with colorful lights. Each group was only given 30 seconds to be in the room to enjoy the beautiful and colorful lights. The feeling of being infinite was experienced by the eyes. Yes it had something to do with the eyes which sense this infinity. It seems it doesn’t have any end. To feel infinite is to be endless, no limit.

I remember that we are souls. Souls are infinite, whereas bodies are finite. As a soul we have no ends. Souls are on an eternal journey, taking one body, then leaving the body and taking another new body in a womb of a mother. It continues and never stops. By understanding this we develop fearlessness of death in our consciousness. Death is when the soul leaves the body with or without any reason. It is seen as a natural process

Reflection

Learn to forgive


A few weeks ago I gave a public talk on forgiveness. To be honest, this is the topic that I had avoided for so long. But I decided to take this topic to share to people. I decided to put the tittle ‘learn to forgive’ instead of ‘forgiveness’. To forgive is something I need to learn.

I heard from many people around me saying ‘God is forgiving. Why do we not forgive?’
I have the conviction that God never gets hurt. He doesn’t take sorrow from anyone’s behavior nor wrong doing in the first place. He doesn’t take time to forgive and also to forget it. His intellect is always accurate, He doesn’t keep any waste thoughts. His heart is always clean and pure. Nothing or no one can ever hurt Him. So He is definitely forgiving. But human beings are not God. We never become God. Our hearts easily get hurt probably because our hearts are so weak. We have lost so much power. We take a process to forgive, it means we take time. and it is OK, just keep taking the process. So we need to learn to forgive, and also forget.

My friend said that to forget someone’s mistake (probably also our own mistake) is the highest level of forgiveness. We need to do something to forgive, but I don’t think that we need to do something to forget. When you forget something happened in the past, you can not recall it anymore. It doesn’t exist anymore in your memory track. When the memory is too strong (probably also strongly hurt), usually the memory stays for a long time. And we can not forget it. If something reminds you of a situation that brings hurt, your emotion might get triggered. The whole story might come up on the screen of your mind. If you have got healed, the emotion won’t get triggered even if someone tries to remind you. You remember the situation, the memory is still there, but you no longer get triggered. I think it is also another level of forgiveness, before we forget it completely.

Now look at your heart. Ask your heart if you have completely forgiven everybody or you still learn to forgive. If you are still processing it, you still learn to forgive, you might need to forgive yourself first for this. Don’t put more burden on yourself by disliking yourself for still not being able to forgive others.

Journal of the day

Sakura season has begun

A friend just sent me this picture below with a caption ‘Sakura season has begun’. He shared happiness, not just a picture. This picture was taken not very far from where he lives. The season is in April every year and only next week will be April. It has never missed.

Nature keeps giving beauty.
It remains unaffected by the pandemic, war nor crisis.

Nature, including tree always keeps its promise. It obeys its season. It is not affected by anything happens in the world, not by the pandemic, war nor financial crisis. It keeps giving flowers. It keeps showing its beauty. It keeps giving happiness. My friend said that they bloom only for two weeks.

I thank to him that he remembered me loving flowers, any kind of flowers especially when it is massively blooming during its season. I said to him ‘it is like showing its beauty in a full force.’ I feel like my heart is quickly blooming with them, filled with happiness.

He has always sent me pictures of Sakura every Sakura season, knowing that I will like it. I really want to go to Japan during Sakura season.

Someone gave me seeds of this type of tree. It’s flower is just similar to Sakura. Beautiful! Thinking not having ‘a green thumb’ as people say, I gave the seeds to 3 different friends for them to grow. I was just not confident growing it myself. Small saplings are delicate, they require special care. After a few months one of them gave me back a sapling of the tree. I really thanked to her mom who took a very good care of it. It grew so well in her care. She must have a green thumb. Now it has grown so big but hasn’t given any flower yet. Probably I have to be very patient to wait to see its flowers. I know only when it has grown years and years and it has become really big, it will give flowers.

Journey

When the war doesn’t stop


No one likes war. Many people are suffering due to a war. Thousands people have left their homes for safety. Thousands people become refugees.

Only a few days after the invasion someone shared to me an invitation for a global meditation for Ukraine. The program was organized from Kyiv. It was a non-stop program for a few days where everybody from all corners of the globe could share their good feelings to souls who were suffering. Being in that ZOOM meeting I felt that we are one big family. We are brothers. The globe is one big house for all of us. We could feel the suffering. We were empowering them with our good wishes and pure feelings. A world map with Ukraine in a spotlight was being shared on the screen during the session. Many of us might never been in this country, we might have no idea where Ukraine is, but in soul level I could feel the connection. I could feel the vibration. We still can share our pure feelings and vibration to the souls there. Your contribution will never miss. No physical power can stop this giving and taking. Not guns nor missile. So keep sending. Keep giving.

Can you feel that you are sharing the same feeling with them?

The other day when I just opened my mobile phone the first message in that day I received was from my good friend. It said “I truly hope that we can hear war stop news today.” He might have been reading news about the war a lot. Many of us can not stop the war. Only a few people can do it, if they have the intention.

The war is still going on till today, more and more people are suffering. Don’t lose hope, there is still something we can do – keep sending good wishes for everybody. Although we are miles away from one another but we can still share the same thought.

Reflection

Hold yourself back


If you are working in a corporate where you have to deal with colleagues, where different heads involve, you might feel the challenge in communication has become greater and greater these days, especially during the pandemic. Emails and messages are more frequently used than a conventional meeting or even communication on the phone. Very often misunderstanding is inevitable. Small problem seems to become very big. A simple problem may become complicated. Everyone is working in their “limited space”. Friction among colleagues may occur very quickly and easily. Noone is comfortable in such a situation. I think we need to keep our heads cold a lot these days. Hold yourself back and do not react. So we can still think very clearly and not easily get provoked.

When a colleague was calling me, discussing a business process that had  not been completed for several weeks and people had started making assumption and judgement, I was quickly aware that a misunderstanding had been taking place among us. I thought I should make it clear for everybody so they stopped making their assumption and judgement which had made the situation worse. In this situation, I knew the problem very clearly, I knew what made the process not completed.

I listened to her talking on the phone. I was surprised how a simple problem had become so complicated. I kept my head cold and said to her “I understand your situation, I appreciate your effort to solve this problem. Please now stop talking to everybody about this for not making it more complicated.”

I made it clear that day. I left a note to her with a smile ‘May everyone stay peaceful’.

Journal of the day

A life cycle


When I shared my blog post on the process of self-identity on teenagers to someone, he said that this process is a part of a life cycle. I completely agreed with him on this. Everybody goes through this phase in their lives. Some are quite aware of the process, but many are not really aware of it. Some take the process very seriously (if not very heavily), and some take it very lightly. Since it is a cycle so it has to be completed, if not completed then it won’t be called a cycle. Not necessarily in one life.

A life cycle of human

It took me years to process this. I should say that it was not an easy one, so much frustration along the way. I didn’t see any guarantee for a success. Looking back, it was like an adventure. I realized that the harder I made it for myself, the less successful it became and the farther away I became from my true self. So I decided not to be hard on myself in this process. I made myself more open and honest to myself. I really made time for this. The feeling was more acceptance, more forgiving and least resistance internally. Now I have a very clear idea of who I am, what I am and what the future would be in my awareness. I am completing the process and I keep learning.

Even though it is a life cycle, it doesn’t mean that there is a guarantee for everybody to complete the process of understanding who they are before they die. Some even do not really know what they want to pursue in life, what they want to do in life. A father just lost his daughter quite suddenly. A few days before she left her body, she talked to him about her plan a bit. She just graduated from college. I think he made a very honest statement about her daughter that she knew what she didn’t like to do very well, what she was not passionate about, but she didn’t know what she liked to do.

Death doesn’t mean the end of everything. It doesn’t automatically end this process. The life cycle is definitely completed for the body, but not for the soul. Because it is the soul that has been seeking, it is the spirit in the body that is going through the process, not the body.