Can a heart become empty? Sure. Have you experienced your heart empty? How did you feel it? You did not like it, did you?
When my heart is empty, I will expect someone to fill it with love. I am craving for love constantly until my heart is full. Love is the energy that is needed by the heart. The energy to live. Noone can live without this energy. And when someone gives me love, because my heart is empty, I will become selfish with that love. All I can think is that ‘You are loving me. You are supporting me. You are caring for me.’ At the same time I am creating fear in my heart. Fear of losing the person who gives me love, the source of my love. When there is fear, love won’t exist. Because love exists in the absence of fear. Both can not exist at the same time.
If you want to free yourself from craving for love from people, what you need to do is to deal with your empty heart. Make it full with love. Do you know how to make your heart full? You heart has the capacity to generate love. So do it. Learn this skill to generate love from within and make your heart full with love till stop craving for love. You will stop expecting love from anyone. You won’t create a dependent love on someone. You will keep giving love instead and stop creating fear.
What can you expect from a small heart? If your heart is small, you can not expect an abundant love. Your heart is where you can generate true love abundantly. Love that flows from the inside out. It is said if you want love, give it. Love is to be shared not to be taken. Energy attracts energy. So love attracts love. But when your heart is small, it can only love conditionally. You put conditions in giving your love to others. ‘I love you, if you also love me.’ ‘I love you, if you do what I say.’ ‘I love you this much, and you should also love me back this much.’ It becomes like a business deal. It is definitely not a true love. A true love never expects anything in return. You just give it (the energy).
A conditional love is like a tap. You can turn it on and also turn it off. ‘I can love you, but I also can stop loving you.’
Make you heart so big that you can generate so much love. A big heart filled with love is a contented heart, a happy heart. Your heart is not needy for love.
Valentine Day is the day of love. It is the day to love. To love means to let the love flow from your heart. Love is an energy. It is generated in the heart. Energy flows. It flows from the inside out. Let the energy flow. Don’t keep your heart closed. Open your heart. Express the love inside.
Every heart has the capacity to love. To love also means to connect, to give, to share. Not to take and keep it for yourself. Love becomes very limited if you do that. This energy is meant to flow. Don’t stop the flow. So it needs an open heart. A closed heart can not give love nor accept love from other hearts.
So check your heart right now. Does it generate love or stop generating love? Is your heart full of love or not? Love is self-generated. You are not meant to expect someone to give you love. It is said If you want love, give it. Only when you have love in your heart that you can give it to others, then your heart is ready accept love from others too. But when you do not have love at the first place, even if others offer you love, you won’t accept it.
A friend told me that she had decided to divorce her husband. She has talked about it with him. When she shared it to me, I could feel that she was feeling so relieved. She said that she was amazed by herself for being very calm while talking to him about this separation, no emotion was involved. She said that she had been listening to the ‘real I’ a lot and it helped her in controlling her emotion. I was happy listening this from her, not for the divorce, but for the way she handled herself.
She said to me that she did not love him anymore, so she wanted to end the marriage. They had gone through so much conflict. It was not healthy for both of them and also for their children. But she said that her husband still loved her. I replied ‘Wait, is it a real love?’ True love never hurts. If it hurts, it is not a true love.
This short conversation reminded me to a book written by Echart Tolla. I read the book long time ago. It is said in the book that ‘I love you’ often means ‘I need you’. So it is a self-centered love. Because it is self-centered, so expectation is involved – there is dependency and possessiveness. Of course it is not true love. True love is liberating. True love is without any expectation. True love is not self-centered.
She paused for a moment and finally said “Yes, he loves himself.”